1st Birthday Celebration-in laws ...what to do??

[spacegirl]

Hey,

It's my son's birthday in March and I guess I have this ideal of having both families over for a couple of hours at our house for some cake and playing with DS.

BUT...

I despise my in-laws they are very narcississtic and think the whole world revolves around them. My MiL is evil and is not very nice to me (does it very subtly so DH doesn't see or get it). My SiL and BiL are spoilt brats. My family agree with me and they can't stand them either. The tension between the families and myself almost spoiled our wedding and it's only now that I'm getting over it 3 years later. I feel both families let us down that day. My parents have not seen my in-laws since that day though they have spoken on the phone to congratulate each other on DS birth.

I'm worried about having a birthday party with them all there. It will be awkward I will be worrying about them getting on and I know my parents won't enjoy it because they really can't stand them. So I just don't know what to do...I did think about having 2 separate parties but I know my in-laws will think that is odd and will be worried there is something wrong. My parents would prefer this for sure. My DH wants a party with them all together

I just want a celebration with just the three of us but then feel this would be unfair on DS. A part of me too just wishes we could all be together without stress and awkwardness not least because my in-laws seem to think my DS is just related to them and no-one else (ie me!!) so I'd like to remind them DS has another family!!!!


ohhhh what to do? anyone in a similar situation? any tips on what to avoid? anything you wish you had done/hadn't done for your baby's 1st bday!?

Thanks so much for reading xxxx

 

[Ozzieshunni]

First off, he's one so he won't remember his grandparents being there or not so don't worry about that!

Second, celebrate how you want. Don't go towards everyone's expectations. If you want a day alone, that's perfectly fine. Do separate things with your parents and your inlaws. I think that's a fair compromise

 

[Sherileigh]

My in laws are divorced, have been for 37 years, and my sil will always have seperate parties. I refuse to do that, they're all adults and they just grow up and deal with it! I refuse to show my children what babies their grandparents are by indulging them. The parties have always been fine, everyone gets along.
I would never have seperate parties, tell everyone to suck it up for one day.

 

[prettykitty]

family relations can be so hard sometimes

Why dont you decide to go away for the day somewhere? That way you could celebrate the 3 of you alone, take some bits with you to a food place, and celebrate there? taking LO out somewhere nice for the day or morning or maybe then spending late afternoon back home?

Could be a plan xx

 

[Palestrina]

Nonsense, if you have 2 parties then the parties become for the grandparents. This party is for your child, if the grandparents can't deal with it tough s***. Your parents and your inlaws should come, be civilized, and enjoy their grand child's first birthday. If they can't do that then they can see themselves out.

I gotta say, my parents don't get along with my inlaws. I used to be caught between the 2, mostly siding with my parents. But now that I have a baby I don't have time to be caught up in that pettiness. I much rather focus on my baby, they can learn to accept each other or not, it's not my job to be a peace maker or to cater to anyone's sensitivities anymore. It's time for the grandparents to grow up, they will all be invited but I refuse to put myself in the way of their differences.