2 year old behaviour

[Willow82]

So my 2 and a half year old has well and truly hit the terrible twos. She’s having prolonged screaming rages over everything from not having the right cereal available, leaving play dates, having to go to bed etc. She’s also become very clingy with me and totally rejecting of OH.

We’re struggling with bedtime in particular. For the last two years, OH stays in the bedroom whilst she goes to sleep and I stay with 5 year old DS. Neither kids self settle but it’s not usually too much of a problem. DS only takes about 15 minutes.

However, now DD’s rejection of OH has hit bedtime. She wants me to stay with her but so does DS. DS is also very clingy with me and is resentful of his sister. Both of them clash constantly over everything which is incredibly exhausting.

Tonight, she’s gone into a rage that she can’t have me and has been hitting, biting, rolling around the bedroom, trying to get out etc. She’s kept DS awake but thankfully he’s now gone to sleep.

I could go into her bedroom now and take over but I’m worried that this is giving into her and she’ll think that if she keeps resisting long enough, I’ll go into her. How do we deal with this?!!

 

[Teri7489]

Huge sympathy. My (almost) 3 year old used to have spectacular tantrums that would make anyone cry. Although I don't like CIO for babies, I'm quite a strict parent to my kids now they are bigger. Personally I would keep to what was happening, have DH put her to bed. If she has a meltdown then he could make sure she is safe and leave her. After a bit go back and check on her and try again to put her back to bed. It will only take a very short time (a few nights) for her to realise that her screaming and tantrums isn't going to get her what she wants. You giving up your time with DS is ruining is routine, more likely going to cause behaviour changes from him and isn't sending a good message really. If after a long time it isn't working then you could try to switch completely, so DH sits with DS and you put her to bed but I wouldn't give in easily personally. Good luck x

 

[CRWx]

I would stay with your OH putting her to bed, she’ll soon learn that tantrumming isn’t going to get you in there to her.

Very hard to do especially when they’re being so extreme (for a lack of a better word!)

Hang in there lovely

 

[jessmke]

I would give her the option of having Daddy at bedtime or having no one. But give her the option before she gets into tantrum mode, before the bedtime routine starts talk about it so she can make the decision when she is calm and happy. Then when it comes time for Daddy to sit with her remind her of the decision she made earlier to have Daddy in the room. Then if she throws a tantrum with Daddy in the room I would just have him leave the room. He can go back in and check on her to see if she wants to calm down and have Daddy sit with her, and if she continues to tantrum then I'd just leave her on her own.