20 weeks and cracking under the pressure

xBabyGoose

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I'm 20 weeks pregnant and feeling like utter shite.

I've had a pretty rough time with the sickness since I found out on week six. for the first month and half i was so bad, I couldnt get out of bed at all. It was a pretty hard time for me as it was exam time at uni, I had to skip exams and revision and just scrape through which was gutting, but i had no other choice. I lost over 10% of my body weight and ended up in hopsital as I wasnt getting any calories or water.

Since week 13-14, it has gotten alot better and my appetite did increase, ive put on most of the weight id lost in the past month. But im still really sick. Im on medication to stop the nausea and it works wonders (half the time), i still have to eat dry food for the first part of the day, and travelling anywhere is a big no no for me. Ive tried weaning off the tablets but its just not working.

Why am i so sick? Im starting to really crack under the pressure of it all, I work atthe weekends and most the time I end up coming home early because i feel so crap. Its not just the sickness either, im so tired all the time its hard to focus. Im still waiting for this 'so-called' burst of energy to happen. I feel guilty at work because i have to go in the back every hour to rest, or eat something dry, and this just puts pressure on the otehr staff coz they are left doing my job as well. I broke down at work yesterday because i just felt so rotten, and over heard one of the girls bitching that im taking the piss because im always in the back sat down or doing nothing. It really got to me. I feel like im a failure because I cant even work two days a week (im off uni now), and other women who have had past pregnancies all seemed fine. I feel like im letting my baby down, because im not strong enough. Im not even going to start on the pressure it puts on mine and the fathers relationship. I feel really depressed now, and i dont know what to do anymore.
 

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