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Kitteh_Kat
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I'm shy/introverted in general, so it can be awkward for me. I have no problem with DD though, interacting with her is just natural to me. I've found it to be definitely different with your own kids!
Kids like to talk about themselves and their interests just like adults, so I usually just ask them what is one of their favorite things and let them guide the conversation.
Kids like to talk about themselves and their interests just like adults, so I usually just ask them what is one of their favorite things and let them guide the conversation.
staralfur
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I'm not a kid person at ALL, I would go so far as to say that I don't really even like other people's children. 
But I absolutely adore my daughter and she's pretty much my best friend. All of those irritating kid things that make me awkward around or not fond of other people's kids don't bother me at all with my own. I have a hard time pretending to be super interested in what other kids are saying to me (because let's be honest, little kids don't usually spark the most interesting conversations), but with my own I am genuinely happy to talk about silly things and it feels very natural with her.
It was harder when she was really little and I was not maternal in the slightest, but now that she's her own little person I find it much easier to connect with her and we have a great bond.
She thinks I'm the best mom in the world and that's all that matters to me!
But I absolutely adore my daughter and she's pretty much my best friend. All of those irritating kid things that make me awkward around or not fond of other people's kids don't bother me at all with my own. I have a hard time pretending to be super interested in what other kids are saying to me (because let's be honest, little kids don't usually spark the most interesting conversations), but with my own I am genuinely happy to talk about silly things and it feels very natural with her. It was harder when she was really little and I was not maternal in the slightest, but now that she's her own little person I find it much easier to connect with her and we have a great bond.
She thinks I'm the best mom in the world and that's all that matters to me!Glad i'm not the only one! It's really silly because i work in a school and spend all day talking to kids but if i don't know them well then i feel awkward. But then i suppose i'm the same with adults...
I think when you have your own you know them so well you'll be at ease with them. When you have a baby they don't need much in the way of conversation but as they get bigger you'll have more to talk about xxx
I think when you have your own you know them so well you'll be at ease with them. When you have a baby they don't need much in the way of conversation but as they get bigger you'll have more to talk about xxx
itsnowmyturn
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My oh really doesn't like other people's children and can only tolerate so much of my nieces and nephews but when it came to our LG he's so good, he doesn't like to do the hands on stuff cos he's scared of hurting her but he loves to have cuddles with her and chats with her but not in baby talk. Even as a poorly bubba at 4 days old in hospital and back down to 5lb 12 he loved holding her and cuddling her but still doesn't like my nephews sticky hands grabbing at his jeans lol. I have to admit he's more patient with them now but still doesn't interact with them as such
busytulip
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I am the same way! I'm afraid I will drop them. It will be different with your own
Most people think that because I have 6 children of my own that I must be great with kids and absolutely adore children in general...it is SO not true. I'm not awful with other kids, just awkward and have a hard time relating. It's amazing how different it is with your own child though. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
aimee-lou
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Yep, I'm useless with other people's children lol. Well, useless is too strong but I'm certainly not a natural lol.
Prior to having my own I hadn't so much as held a baby for more than 10 seconds. I've never changed a nappy or anything. When DS1 was born, I remember the first night with him when I had to suddenly look after this little creature and it just came so naturally. I can talk to my own children, interact with them etc and its not an issue - not even given it a second thought.
Older children I'm better with (over 8s kind of ages) as you can hold a conversation with them. I am better since having my own. I can at least deal with children where as before I would just clam up.
Prior to having my own I hadn't so much as held a baby for more than 10 seconds. I've never changed a nappy or anything. When DS1 was born, I remember the first night with him when I had to suddenly look after this little creature and it just came so naturally. I can talk to my own children, interact with them etc and its not an issue - not even given it a second thought.
Older children I'm better with (over 8s kind of ages) as you can hold a conversation with them. I am better since having my own. I can at least deal with children where as before I would just clam up.
I can only repeat what many of the others have said. I have always been useless with kids as I had no idea what to talk to them about and I felt really embarrassed if I was struggling to understand what a toddler was saying to me. I went to see my newborn nephew just 3 weeks before my first baby was due and I came away feeling genuinely scared as I just didn't know what to do other then just hold him and I didn't really feel any bond at all. It was completely different when my own LO arrived. I just knew how to hold him, when to rock him, when to talk to him, and I think the biggest thing with your own is that you don't feel like other people are watching you to make sure you're doing it just how they would so you can experiment a bit to find out what your baby likes.
When DS2 was born, the midwife asked me to cuddle and talk to him to try to calm him down while she did some of his newborn checks. I struggled with that a bit as I really felt like I was being watched but we got over it.
Now that DS1 is nearly 3, he's a little chatterbox. Some of what he says is utter nonsense but I have no trouble chatting away to him.
By the way, I'm still useless with other people's kids, but just maybe slightly less useless.
When DS2 was born, the midwife asked me to cuddle and talk to him to try to calm him down while she did some of his newborn checks. I struggled with that a bit as I really felt like I was being watched but we got over it.
Now that DS1 is nearly 3, he's a little chatterbox. Some of what he says is utter nonsense but I have no trouble chatting away to him.
By the way, I'm still useless with other people's kids, but just maybe slightly less useless.
MollyMalone
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I have to be honest, I could never "baby talk" and I HATED playing with children. I love my nephew and niece to death but I remeber, before I was a mom, them wanted me to go an play with them and all I wanted was to be left alone and participate in whatever the other adults were doing. I still don't like it to this day that much.
I used to participate in the church's nursery before getting married and it was not my thing. I just didnt enjoy it and stopped as soon as I got the chance.
With all that said, when you have your own child it's a completely different game. I LOVE playing with DS and just doing anything around him. Think about your first love, how you could only think about the person, got butterflies, and were pretty much obsessed. Now multiply that by a 1000 and that's how you feel with your own children. The only thing is it doesnt wear off, it increases all the time. So you'd pretty much do anything with them and enjoy it hahaha.
I used to participate in the church's nursery before getting married and it was not my thing. I just didnt enjoy it and stopped as soon as I got the chance.
With all that said, when you have your own child it's a completely different game. I LOVE playing with DS and just doing anything around him. Think about your first love, how you could only think about the person, got butterflies, and were pretty much obsessed. Now multiply that by a 1000 and that's how you feel with your own children. The only thing is it doesnt wear off, it increases all the time. So you'd pretty much do anything with them and enjoy it hahaha.
LockandKey
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I know this has probably been said a million times before, you probably hear it A LOT, I know I did, but when you have your own, it's different, and it totally is.
I am just introverted in general, I have social anxiety, and have never been much of a kid person to begin with. Most of my life I said I never wanted children, despite that, I still got broody and now have 2 children. I personally have no issue telling my kids things or talking to them, I did sort of "get over it" with mine, though I feel that is mainly because I know them, I gave birth to them, therefore I am comfortable with them, and personal comfort plays a big part in it all, but there are times where I draw blanks. Most of the time I have no idea what to say to other people, so I sure as heck don't know what to say to their kids!
Where I avoided children before, I now will say a little something, or at least am not as fearful as I once was. I'm not entirely sure it's something you get over fully though as it is a part of your personality. The other moms I've seen at parks or dropping their children off at DD's school always know what to say, they are imaginative, gentle with their words or voice, they play right into the child's game or idea, I'm jealous, but that's just not who I am as a person and a mom. I do my own thing, I do things differently from them and probably always will. I've felt bad about the way I parent because of it, I've doubted myself so much, and have even gone as far as to think awful things about myself, so for me the biggest thing that has come about in my parenting is accepting the way I do things differently from others, the pros that come along with it, and the positives that have steamed from doing things my way.
Also Molly, I am the EXACT same way when it comes to play. I do NOT like to play with my kids, I will basically do everything but! I've always felt horrible to say that because I've always felt like every mom except me played with their kids, so it's nice to know I'm not alone after all
I am just introverted in general, I have social anxiety, and have never been much of a kid person to begin with. Most of my life I said I never wanted children, despite that, I still got broody and now have 2 children. I personally have no issue telling my kids things or talking to them, I did sort of "get over it" with mine, though I feel that is mainly because I know them, I gave birth to them, therefore I am comfortable with them, and personal comfort plays a big part in it all, but there are times where I draw blanks. Most of the time I have no idea what to say to other people, so I sure as heck don't know what to say to their kids!
Where I avoided children before, I now will say a little something, or at least am not as fearful as I once was. I'm not entirely sure it's something you get over fully though as it is a part of your personality. The other moms I've seen at parks or dropping their children off at DD's school always know what to say, they are imaginative, gentle with their words or voice, they play right into the child's game or idea, I'm jealous, but that's just not who I am as a person and a mom. I do my own thing, I do things differently from them and probably always will. I've felt bad about the way I parent because of it, I've doubted myself so much, and have even gone as far as to think awful things about myself, so for me the biggest thing that has come about in my parenting is accepting the way I do things differently from others, the pros that come along with it, and the positives that have steamed from doing things my way.
Also Molly, I am the EXACT same way when it comes to play. I do NOT like to play with my kids, I will basically do everything but! I've always felt horrible to say that because I've always felt like every mom except me played with their kids, so it's nice to know I'm not alone after all
MindUtopia
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I am totally not good with other people's kids. I've never really liked kids. Like I didn't hate them, but I just felt like it was better if we all kept our distance from each other. I never babysat growing up. I never went out of my way to interact with children. I just don't always 'get' them and I don't really enjoy them. But it's so completely different with your own. I love my daughter and she's awesome. We have an incredible strong bond. I love spending time with her and I completely and totally 'get' her and think she's so funny and great. I still don't really like being around other people's kids and I still don't know what to say to them or do with them! Even though I have my own. But it's completely different.
It's kinda like saying, I'm really uncomfortable speaking in front of a room full of people to give a presentation, so I don't think I should ever get married. The bond and relationship you have with someone you love, like a partner or your child, has nothing to do with how you feel about strangers. You can not really enjoy social situations, but still love a night in with your partner. It's kinda like that. You'll bond with your own child and it nothing to do with liking children. I mean I do think there are people who don't bond well with their kids (because they never wanted said child anyway or because they have mental health issues that make bonding difficult), but that's got nothing to do with liking children or not.
The only thing I'd say is that you just might find some of the baby and toddler classes or groups to be annoying. I hated going to all the groups and things because you're expected to fawn over other people's children and the only thing anyone talks about is their children, blah, blah, blah. I just found them tedious and unenjoyable. So we don't do them anymore. My daughter goes to preschool 4 days a week, so she gets plenty of interaction with other kids. When she's home with me we do other things that don't involve me having to interact with other kids, like gardening, going to the library, going to the park or beach, having a picnic, basically we just have one on one time without other kids around, and that's great!
It's kinda like saying, I'm really uncomfortable speaking in front of a room full of people to give a presentation, so I don't think I should ever get married. The bond and relationship you have with someone you love, like a partner or your child, has nothing to do with how you feel about strangers. You can not really enjoy social situations, but still love a night in with your partner. It's kinda like that. You'll bond with your own child and it nothing to do with liking children. I mean I do think there are people who don't bond well with their kids (because they never wanted said child anyway or because they have mental health issues that make bonding difficult), but that's got nothing to do with liking children or not.
The only thing I'd say is that you just might find some of the baby and toddler classes or groups to be annoying. I hated going to all the groups and things because you're expected to fawn over other people's children and the only thing anyone talks about is their children, blah, blah, blah. I just found them tedious and unenjoyable. So we don't do them anymore. My daughter goes to preschool 4 days a week, so she gets plenty of interaction with other kids. When she's home with me we do other things that don't involve me having to interact with other kids, like gardening, going to the library, going to the park or beach, having a picnic, basically we just have one on one time without other kids around, and that's great!
