2nd boy, a little sad

[girl friday]

I feel awful for even thinking this, but we found out we're team blue yesterday (i thought we were) and part of me is disappointed.

We already have 1 son and due to space and finances won't have any more after this one. I'm so happy that LO is healthy, we've been lucky to get pregnant quickly both times and pregnancy seems to agree with me so I should be happy.

The thing is, I would love a daughter. My feelings are made worse by the fact that my SIL had a daughter a few months after I had my DS and is pregnant again with a daughter (due just before my DS2). These are the only girls on DH's side.

I feel sad (and jealous) that I'll never get to buy cute girly clothes for my own LO, by her girly toys, cute jewellery, have mother/daughter days etc.

DH was over the moon to be having another son, he doesn't want a daughter as he's used to boys so doesn't understand what I mean and I feel like a bad mum for even thinking this.

 

[beth30]

I have felt the same things... second boy for me too... and I just knew this HAD to be a girl to even things out in my family... but no... I cried about it once... I felt horrible for that too... I have had trouble, and I am thankful for any baby I can have, boy or girl, but I couldn't shake the feeling of not getting to buy pink...until today. I realized when my mom was yapping at me and my sister (both of us adults, wives and mothers) we both said something back to her and she got mad.... NOW, if that had been our older brother, she would have calmly agreed with him, and they would have went on having a merry day. I am happy to be having a boy, and maybe your situation will change in the future, and a little girl will come with the change.... or Maybe I am thinking this way because I am emotionally drained (my dog died)and I am not coping well, she was the only other female in my household, and I felt like I had something in my life that wasn't blue.....

 

[girl friday]

Thanks for replying, it's comforting to know that other people understand where I'm coming from.

So sorry to hear about your dog, I know how devastating it can be to lose a beloved companion as we lost ours when DS1 was a few months old (also a girl) and we were heartbroken.

xx

 

[pinkribbon]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling a bit low. This is our last baby for the same reasons as you and although I don't know for sure yet, I have a gut feeling mine's also another boy.

 

[girl friday]

Thank you for your reply. When's your scan?

I'm glad I found out the gender now cos it gives me time to get used to it.

xx

 

[pinkribbon]

It's the 2nd July but now I'm starting to think I want to stay team yellow because of the pressure i'm feeling to have a girl from other people

 

[girl friday]

You could always find out and not tell people? That's what we've done.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

I understand your disappointment, I'm onto boy number 5 at the moment.
Hope you feel happier soon x

 

[Adela Quested]

You're not a bad mum for being disappointed. It can take some time to adjust, that's all. Of course having a healthy baby is a big WIN, but there's also a sense of loss about not having your girl, and it's fine - and natural - to mourn that loss. It doesn't mean you love your new LO any less.