3 boys & pregnant with 4th. Should i find out gender?

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by cheerios, May 14, 2018.

  1. cheerios

    cheerios Mum to 3 boys + 1 girl

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    Well as my title says it, I have 3 boys + am pregnant with my 4th and most definitely probably last baby ever.

    Big question is, should I find out gender???? I really don’t know! I have my 21.5 week scan on wednesday and I’m still sitting on the fence about finding out! Ahhh....

    Honestly, I’m really toying with the idea of waiting till birth because honestly I can’t be bothered with people’s comments and I don’t want to be disappointed with gender.

    I was disappointed with having my 3rd boy BUT he’s the cutest and most easy-going baby I have. I felt so guilty for being so disappointed!

    So now,I’m thinking if I should protect myself and not tell people? And to make sure I don’t let the cat out of the bag, I feel like not knowing gender myself?

    Deep down inside, I’m mentally preparing myself that it’s a box number 4. I honestly don’t know if my body knows how to conceive a baby girl and I don’t know if there’s some chemical process that is not working properly such that I’ve only conceived boys.

    I Do enjoy not knowing and carrying that flicker of hope that is a girl. I know that once baby is born, I can’t be bothered anyway.

    What would YOU do? I need to decide soon!
     
  2. jtink28

    jtink28 Mama

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    I would definitely decide. You can find out and not tell anyone you know if it's boy #4, if that's easier. I'm a planner, though, so I had to know as early as possible, lol. Maybe if you find out what baby is, you'll be able to bond more and get to know him, talk to him, make it real for yourself. And if you find out it's a girl, you'll be over the moon until she's born! I only have 2 boys (and no more babies), but man, I understand all the comments. People ask me EVERY DAY when I'm trying for my girl. Good luck!
     
  3. bdb84

    bdb84 Well-Known Member

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    In your situation I feel like it may be best to find out beforehand. It will give you time to process your feelings before the birth and come to terms with it, instead of risking that disappointment on your big day. :hugs:

    I really am crossing my fingers for you.
     
  4. 6lilpigs

    6lilpigs Well-Known Member

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    As you say you are happy not knowing and once baby is here you will look at that face and not care which gender it is, so I think you should keep it a surprise :)
     
  5. cheerios

    cheerios Mum to 3 boys + 1 girl

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    Thanks ladies!!!
    I'm still confused! Hahaha. But I really enjoyed reading each of your point of view!!
     
  6. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    I have 3 boys and if we ever have another I’ve said I’d like a surprise .. weather I could actually wait is a different story but I think I would like a Suprise I really really want a girl and I don’t think I could also cope with other people’s comments etc I love my boys so much and I no I’d be fine with another but I would also be disappointed at not having a girl and to be honest . I really don’t no what id do x.
     
  7. cheerios

    cheerios Mum to 3 boys + 1 girl

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    Thanks for your reply!!! I’m EXACTLY like you! Confused and not sure what I’d do! Ahhh..... I do want to wait but I also don’t know if I would feel upset if it’s a 4th boy at birth. A couple more hours to my gynae appointment and then I will have to decide!!!
     
  8. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    Hi hun have u had your scan yet ? X
    That’s it I think if I had a suprise and it was a boy at birth altho I would be over the moon at the new baby I do think I’d have a pang of disappointment x
     
  9. cheerios

    cheerios Mum to 3 boys + 1 girl

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    Hey!! Yes I did!!! I was ready to find out gender!!! So we tried to look but guess what? Baby didn’t cooperate!!! The legs were stuck together!!!

    Once the legs were opened but doc said legs were not opened enough to see whether it’s a boy or girl. I couldn’t see any boy parts though. I was sooo sure if it were a boy, we would have seen a penis already. But doc said legs were not opened enough to draw any conclusion.

    So now I gotta wait till my 30-week Scan for a next look. I’m back on Team yellow for the next 10 weeks!!
     
  10. donnarobinson

    donnarobinson Mommy Of 3 Boys

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    Aww ! Wel at least there is still hope of baby being a girl!!! X hope all was ok x
     
  11. jtink28

    jtink28 Mama

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    I always think that if they have trouble finding out gender, it's usually a girl lol. I mean, a little willy kind of is obvious. Good luck to you!!! If it were me, I'd be booking private scans. I'm literally the worst at waiting hah!
     
  12. 6lilpigs

    6lilpigs Well-Known Member

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    Can you post your 12-13 week pic incase there is a nub showing :)
     
  13. george83

    george83 Well-Known Member

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    I’d book a private scan but just for me I wouldn’t even tell my oh. Other people make insensitive comments (although I do appreciate they don’t mean it) either way and I think they are more kind when you actually have a newborn compared to when you’re still pregnant. I felt awful after having my third boy and know that I couldn’t risk that being worse after having a fourth so would want to prepare myself
     
  14. Apple111

    Apple111 Well-Known Member

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    Hi I have 4 boys, youngest 16 Months. I did find out as I thought it would help me get my head around it whatever and I could then plan. To be honest I really wanted a girl, I’ve always wanted a girl but I’m glad I found out I was having a boy when I did as although I was so pleased he was healthy I was also gutted as I knew this was definately our last baby, but kept this totally to myself as i didn’t want to ever feel bad about this in the future. It did definately help me get my head around it and then I feel this allowed me to bond with my new little man for the next 4 Months up to his easy birth., it also helped that we named him so I then couldn't wait to meet him and give him a cuddle. Personally I’m glad I did find out as I would have hated to feel any disappointment when he was born, although this was totally nothing to do with my little fella personally he is our world, just the fact that I would have loved to have a little girl.. my little fella is amazing and such a character x having experienced a mc our overall priority was that our baby was healthy and we were so pleased to see that heathy heartbeat that we actually nearly forgot to ask the sex at first then his little man bits were undeniable anyway haha x I’m now so proud of my boys x
    Boys / girls .., all a blessing hon x good luck with what u choose to do x
     
  15. kittylady

    kittylady Mother of 3, due #4

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    Hi I'm in the same position but the opposite way around. I have 3 girls and I'm pregnant with number 4. OH definitely doesn't want anymore so this is likely the last. I am staying team yellow. I was team yellow with #1 and #2 and even though I wanted a boy with #2 I had no time to get upset that she was another girl because my baby was there and I was already in love with her. With number 3 we found out for the reasons above. Finding out it was another girl was disappointing, and I dwelled on it for the other 20 weeks, I had a low mood. The pregnancy lost its sparkle. I also got a lot of comments which didn't help my situation.

    So as I said we are staying team yellow. I loved the surprise after I gave birth and it gave me something to focus on in labour. It doesn't matter as much once baby is here as I love them anyway so I just don't think its worth 20 weeks of disappointment and anguish about what could have been.
     
  16. bathbabe

    bathbabe Mum to 3 boys

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    I agree ^^
    I was team yellow for #1 and #2 Then found out with #3 and it killed my mood for the remainder of my pregnancy. I've told my partner that if we have a #4 then I won't be finding out the gender again.
    I'm also a mum of 3 boys!
     
  17. Jessicahide

    Jessicahide Well-Known Member

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    I have three boys and a girl, I found out as I am rubbish at waiting.
     
  18. c.m.c

    c.m.c 3 daughters 🌸🌸🌸

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    I have 3 girls and I have had the exact same conversation wit my friend. I’m hoping yo tTC number 4 this summer, my DH never wants to know gender and knowing alone the last time that we were having a third girl was awful yet when she was born I loved her beyond belief!

    Good luck with what you decide I guess there’s pro’s and cons to both decisions
     
  19. cheerios

    cheerios Mum to 3 boys + 1 girl

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    Quick update!!! Baby #4 is a PRINCESS!!! 🎀🎀🎀🎀 Last Scan was at 35 weeks and it was a different gynae so I already have 2 doctors telling me the same gender!

    I’m over the moon, in shock and still have no idea how to absorb this new information. I’ve always been guessing girl from what my gynae said about not being able to see any balls but he only confirmed 60% girl. At the second opinion gynae, it was soooo clear. We could see her girly parts!!! She said she’s 80% sure baby is a girl. I’m pretty much like 99.9% sure baby is a girl cos those parts were definitely girly!!!

    I haven’t bought a single girly clothing and honestly don’t even know where /how to start. I’ve got sooo many boys clothes! I’ll probably dress my baby in boys’ clothes until she’s old enough to wear dresses! Hahah
     
  20. hunni12

    hunni12 Mum To Rj&WTT#2

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    Congrats hun I'm happy you got the outcome you wanted :)
     

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