3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?

[SashimiMimi]

Thanks ladies! First week of being a mom has been hard, especially with no sleep and recovering from a c section. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Now in hindsight I can see all those IUIs were meant to fail because I feel like it had to be THAT sperm and THAT one surviving egg from my IVF to create Levi. If the first IUI had worked I would have some other kid and I would probably be a less patient less grateful mom. I'm so glad it all happened when it did despite the LONG wait and months upon months of fristration. I think these babies have a plan for when and how they want to come into the world and we all have to trust that it IS going to happen!

 

[Bma11]

Strawberry- officially in the TWW! Good luck

 

[PinkPeony]

Had my sonohysterogram today. It didn't hurt AT ALL this time. When she said she was done I was like I thought it was a trick or something. I was SO relieved when it was over. I'm pretty sure the reason it didn't hurt this time was that she had to switch to a smaller catheter bc the other one wasn't going in. Phewww!!! I'm still breathing sighs of relief seriously.

 

[Maverick007]

Anyone have any idea whether those clear blue tests are good to use if you have not yet missed AF? They seem less sensitive so I don't know if I want to waste it. Ideally I wanted to test tomorrow morning (12 dpiui) since I have a consult w/ the RE at 4pm and would like to be able to say I tested in case she questions it. But I don't have any "early response" tests right now. Would rather not go out and buy one if I end up getting AF anyway on Sunday. Any opinions?

 

[Maverick007]

Pink- So glad it went well and no pain!! Are you doing IVF in June?

 

[fisher640]

I only ever used Internet cheapies? Sorry. (I got a clear BFP not using FMU on 10dpiui.... I always tested early though)
The only thing I see people post a lot are that the ones that make pink lines are better than the tests that use blue lines.
Test! (I'm an addict) good luck! Keep us posted!

 

[Strawberry13]

Pink-so happy that it went well with no pain! Hopefully that means an easy transition to ivf.

Maverick you should def test before your consult. I would think most tests are reliable at 12 dpo can you buy a cheapie today and use tomorrow morning? Fingers crossed for you! Do you still have symptoms?

Afm I did not have a good weekend with my iuis-my poor DHs count was significantly lower than what it has been recently and our post wash motile counts were only 5m and 12m. this was such a disappointment and I spent 2 days just crying. They think he must have some kind of infection since his white blood cell count was high so they're going to test him for that. Still kinda makes this cycle a bust so we're really upset right now.

 

[Bma11]

Maverick- is the clear blue a digital ?? I'd say if its digital don't waste it. If its a line one then go for it!!

Strawberry- sorry. Just remember it only takes one FX crossed for you!

 

[Maverick007]

Thanks everyone for your feedback on the tests! Yes, the clear blue is a digital so I will probably not use it. I also found some generic one that does a + or - but not sure whether it's blue or pink dye. I'll probably just use that one and try to remember to stock up on some dollar tree tests next time i'm out!

Strawberry - I'm sorry about your DH's numbers...I absolutely know how you feel, our last two IUIs were 12 million and 9 mill and we did not do back to back, so I was bummed about that. I still think you have a great shot though. There are hundreds of success stories from people who had even less than that, so keep your spirits up as much as possible..I know, easier said than done. My fingers are crossed for you big time!!

No symptoms right now. Only real pms-like symptom is sore bbs. I am beginning to think I might be out this cycle (typical negativity taking over) but it ain't over until it's over! I'm already starting to think very hard about whether IVF is doable this summer. My DH is an elementary school teacher so I would love it if we had time for IVF before he has to go back to school. It sounds like it might not be possible though with prep and everything.

 

[Strawberry13]

Thanks everyone for the well wishes. I'm just too painfully aware of all of the statistics so its hard not to think about! Lol but I will try to be optimistic.

Maverick that would be great if you could do it over the summer. Summer always flies by so it will be here before you know it and I'm sure it moves quickly once you start. I've heard a lot if girls start in the same month that they go for their first consult. But remember you're not out for this month yet! There's definitely hope. Keep us posted on what happens tomorrow...

 

[Nicedips]

This thread is so full of positive energy. I am on my fifth IUI cycle which failed, I got my AF today. I am so devastated and depressed. This thread gives me some hope.

I have my follow up appt on Jun3, hope my doc gets little bit aggressive and not suggest another IUI. I have so many questions to ask him now.

 

[Sunshine24]

Nicedips-- I had 5 failed IUIs.....one with Clomid and 4 w injectibles....it was not an easy road and I felt so discouraged, so I know a little bit about how you feel. It was TERRIBLE. I feel your pain.

I am happy to say though that the darkest days I thought would never end --- soon gave way to a BFP! I am now 14 weeks pregnant, I always believed I would be here one day but it was hard to hold out hope sometimes. I felt totally filled with despair last December, and then by this March--I had my BFP, so things can turn around quicker than it seems.

I would say definitely be very open and assertive with your doctor. Once I had my failed IUIs I just couldnt take another one, I opted for laparascopy surgery where they found endometreosis ( total surprise ) and once that was removed that suggested IVF was the quickest route. We chose that. Your path may be different, but the moral of the story is speak up for yourself with the doctor and what you think is best for you! Your doc is there to make sure you have a baby, so whatever you think is best, he should do.

Please let me know if I can help you with anything else, I'm happy to share my experiences. You can get to me through this board or via private message here. Stay strong!!!

 

[PinkPeony]

Welcome Nicedips! I'm a fellow 5 IUIer as well. It totally sucks and I feel your pain. I can only say - i haven't got my BFP yet but things have still gotten better for me. I have managed to drag myself out of depression and I'm in a frame of mind that's more like acceptance of my situation. I wouldn't say I'm overly positive but I'm not in the pit of despair anymore. I realized when I was at my worst the most important thing is not getting pregnant but merely being happy with my life as it is... even just some of the time.... That can be tough and I didn't get there over night. I saw an infertility therapist and that helped a lot. Highly recommend... And joining us on this thread... I felt like an outsider here for a while TBH bc I was feeling so negative at the time but all these ladies are so caring and lovely and they've all been there.

 

[Nicedips]

Thanks Sunshine, Pink

My IUIs were all normal without any injectibles. My RE thinks i can get pregnant naturally. He has more confidence than me.

I am thinking of taking a break for a while. I feel that my life is not in my control.

 

[Sunshine24]

If you feel you should take a break, then take a break. You know yourself better than any doctor---so do what you are most comfortable with.

After my final failed IUI in December we took a break until lap surgery ( thought it was going to be in February, but got moved earlier into mid-January! ) But that break was such a godsend and got me in the right frame of mind and I think ultimately helped me get my BFP from IVF. I took the break as an opportunity to really take care of myself.....I worked out, ate healthy, enjoyed life, indulged in a glass of wine here and there, and didn't worry about ttc. A little break sometimes is so needed.

 

[Maverick007]

Thanks everyone for the well wishes. I'm just too painfully aware of all of the statistics so its hard not to think about! Lol but I will try to be optimistic.

Maverick that would be great if you could do it over the summer. Summer always flies by so it will be here before you know it and I'm sure it moves quickly once you start. I've heard a lot if girls start in the same month that they go for their first consult. But remember you're not out for this month yet! There's definitely hope. Keep us posted on what happens tomorrow...

I definitely know what you mean, statistics can drive you insane if you let them! It's hard for me not to google so much, but sometimes I think life would be easier without access to so much information.

I tested this a.m. and, BFN. Bah. Not a huge surprise there and for some odd reason I felt less disappointed this round than any other IUI. Maybe I'm in denial? I don't know. I have my consult at 4 today so will hopefully feel more positive after that. I feel at a crossroads now between deciding to just take a break, or moving on w/ IVF while I have the momentum going. AF is due June 2 so I guess I'd better decide pretty soon. DH seems on board w/ IVF but he realizes he has less "work" to do so I have a feeling he will end up deferring to me.

Nicedips, welcome! I am so sorry to hear about your 5th IUI. You are in good company here w/ many people in the same boat. I am definitely with Pink about trying to remember daily to be grateful for the life you have, rather than the one you wish you had. I'm able to do that maybe 20% of the time, but hey! It's not 0% so that's progress. Good luck to you!!

 

[PinkPeony]

Exactly Mav... I'm definitely not much more than 50% of the time at this point so I'm getting there. It's still a huge change from a few months ago. So sorry to hear about your BFN hun.

I'm a big advocate of taking a break when you feel like you need it. It's good to step out of the world of fertility treatments for a while and remind yourself there is more to life. Doing IUI's is so consuming and you get beaten down by the pattern of big build ups and then let downs.

 

[Maverick007]

Exactly Mav... I'm definitely not much more than 50% of the time at this point so I'm getting there. It's still a huge change from a few months ago. So sorry to hear about your BFN hun.

I'm a big advocate of taking a break when you feel like you need it. It's good to step out of the world of fertility treatments for a while and remind yourself there is more to life. Doing IUI's is so consuming and you get beaten down by the pattern of big build ups and then let downs.

Thanks Pink! Really appreciate it. I know if I let myself, I would probably feel more sad, but I am trying to keep it reined in and remember this is not the end. Plus, I don't think I could function at work today if I did that, and I really need to function today!

Great advice about taking a break. I am definitely feeling burned out on the process right now. I keep reminding myself it's not that big a deal to wait a year.

 

[ttcbaby117]

maverick - I took a break prior to my this IVF I am just finishing and it not only helped me but it also helped my marriage. fertility treatments can be a strain on even the strongest marriages. If your gut is telling to take some time then I would say do it!

 

[Strawberry13]

Welcome nicedips! Sorry that you're feeling down and that your 5th didn't work. I totally agree if you need a break take it and maybe one month of not going for monitoring and checking your calendar and all the build ups will be good for you. I think it's really hard to find that balance between giving yourself the space you need and getting back on the horse and trying again. I had taken a few months off before this month and can say that it helped a bit, however I'm at the point now where despite the letdowns I need to be doing everything I can to maximize my chances even if it means some tears along the way. But that's just me I know that everyone's journey is different.

Maverick I'm so sorry about your bfn. Sending hugs. I'm sure it feels good to know you'll be hashing everything out with your dr today and you can see what their recommendations are. Keep us posted and keep your chin up!