34days to go & still terrified :(

Love My Bubs

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Hey so this is my 2nd pregnancy after my loss last October at 22wks . I have 34days to go & my partner has left again , its not only that upsetting me but the memory of my beautiful son coming out & taking his last breath haunts me . I know I'm well past the safe stage but still I'm worrying daily . My partner won't contact me at all & I have no way to contact him . His parents r doing anything they can to make sure I can't contact him . I know he cares but I don't know y he keeps doing this to us .
Oh so scared :(
 
I'm so sorry for your loss :( Is it that your partner has left? I dont really understand, either way you can do this! This baby will be here in no time and while it must be really scary for you as you have said you are past the safe stage and it will be ok :hugs: Do you have a good relationship with your midwife? It might be good to talk over some of these concerns with her so she could maybe organise some extra appointments or counselling to help you in the run up to the birth, big hugs hun and congrats on your rainbow baby :hugs:
 
My partner has left for the 3rd time this pregnancy , he decides his parents are more important & leave me & my 2 bubs to cope on our own . As much as I try , his not someone I can push away & move on . His only been in my life a year & a half but we have been thru so very much together & we r only 21 & 22 so we still havnt matured properly ourselves but we have had to so fast wit our last loss . He tears my heart into a million pieces & I still forgive & want him . His parents r seriously tapped & do anything to destroy us including telling him I slept wit my 35yr old Neighbour . They r evil & hurtful . I'm very lost & don't know wat to do about him as I can't contact him at all & he is the only one that understands wat I have been thru :(
 
I am so sorry, it sounds like you have been through so much this past year and a half! It sounds like your OH is hiding behind his parents, he is a grown man and it is up to him what he believes, his parents may not be helping the situation but he has free will and it sounds like hes using his parents to hide when things get tough. You say hes young but so are you and your not running away and hiding, Im 21 aswell. You say he knows how your feeling but if he really did then why has he done this, he is being selfish! You need to concentrate on you and your baby right now, babies need love and stability and it doesnt take two parents to give them that, he may be unreliable and keep running off when things get rough but this baby will need you to be strong, which it is clear you are from all that you've been through even if you may not feel that way. He is not the only one who knows what you've been through, have you spoken to a pregnancy loss counsellor? or contacted sands? There are many women out there unfortunatly who have suffered a devastating loss like you have, sands have support groups and you may find it helpful to call them for some support right now or go along to a group. You said he tears your heart into a million pieces but your heart was already torn and your partner is supposed to help heal you not make things worse, sounds to me like you could do this without him no problem, if he decides to come back later and you can sort things out then thats great, it is his loss if he misses anything, although it is sad you know you have done your best to contact him and have him involved. At the end of the day he is going to have to live with how he has behaved but you will have your beautiful baby and will know that you have done everything in your power to make sure everything is perfect for them, have you got much support from your family/friends? :hugs:
 

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