38w2d Need to vent about MIL!

[kmpssbl]

AHHHH!!!!!!

So yesterday, I had my first sweep. I am so ready have this baby out! Well, it's seemed a little effective so far today. I got the rest of my Christmas shopping done this morning, and when I came home I continued nesting. I was exhausted and tired and started feeling very minor contractions, nothing major. So I decided to sit in the shower for about 45 minutes.

I come downstairs to rest on the couch and watch some tv, when I see I had a missed call and a text from MIL while I was in the shower. She then proceeded to text me the SAME MESSAGE 3 more times in a 2 minute time span! UGH!!! I texted hubby about this, since he is still at work. He said he would talk to her, but wanted to know what she wanted.

She wants to come over and invade my space and clean my house. MY house! As if I can't clean it myself?? It's clean enough, no thank you. And then tomorrow, she wants to take me to a tea room here in town. I hate tea, and the first time I went there with some friends, I wasn't impressed. Plus, my mom and sister are coming over tomorrow to help me with some things and maybe get lunch.

The thing that irks me the most is that here I am 38 weeks pregnant, uncomfortable, trying to get things ready, and MIL wants to do these annoying things with me. The LAST thing I want to do is spend time with someone who can't even have a normal conversation with me, because we have nothing in common, when I am so far along and feeling the way I am. Hubby told her yesterday that I am now 2cm dilated, so it could be any day now after the sweep. What is she thinking?? I told him I don't want to go anywhere for the time being now because I think it best to stay home and relax as much as possible. If my water breaks, I'd rather it be at home.

The last thing, that just came to mind, is this. Hubby's parents live 10 minutes from us. He told me that if I happen to go into labor while he is at work, I need to call his mom, my mom or my sister. My mom and sister each live at least 20 minutes from me. While MIL is closest, there is no way I can trust her to come get me in a timely manner. She has the toughest time getting out of the house because for some reason, she needs to pack everything she owns and take it in her giant uncomfortable truck everywhere she goes. What's the deal? So yeah, she would never get here in time. Plus, she drives way too slow. I'd rather call someone else!

Sorry for the long rant. I just had to get this off my chest. I have not replied to her text either. I hate talking on the phone, and she knows this, so I don't understand why she calls. I'm pretty sure when hubby gets home, I will have a meltdown because I am so frustrated with how she is handing this. She just isn't thinking about my well-being.

 

[RaspberryK]

A little rant is good, take some deep breaths, non of it matters in the long run.
Sounds like she's trying to be helpful and treat you to a nice afternoon. Maybe she just thought you'd appreciate the break.
I'd laugh it off and say you've been nesting so house is spotless and you've got plans tomorrow but would she like to do x on the following day, perhaps she's hoping doing something together will help you bond and you have her son/your dh in common.
Trust me if you stay home for the next maybe 3-4 weeks you'll go stir crazy, you could be 2cm dilated for ages and it's unlikely your waters will break before you have contractions.
How far away does your dh work? I'd have thought you'd not need to call anyone other than him as it takes a while to get going usually, I didn't wake mine up for 5 hours after my first contraction.
Xx

 

[Tanni_Pants]

I think that's a bit harsh.
She's only trying to help and possibly even get to know you a bit better. Seeing as you "have nothing in common".
It takes time and effort from both sides to get to know one another. Not everyone gets on with their in laws immediately.

 

[Mummy to be x]

I agree with the above.

Try and brush it off it really does just seem like she's trying to be nice.

 

[kmpssbl]

I understand I may be overreacting after thinking about it. But it is still irritating. My husband works all over the city. This week, he is driving back and forth to a city that is at least an hour away. I just have a feeling if I try to force myself to do this thing with her, I will not be in a good mood and it just won't be a good time for either of us. The other day, I went to lunch with my mom and sisters, and I was grouchy because I was so hot and uncomfortable. I would hate for this same thing to happen. I will talk to hubby when he gets home today and see what he thinks. I am sure he will say the same thing as above and tell me to give it a go and let her have her time with me. I just think the hardest part about being alone with her is she is just as quiet as I am, if not more, so that just makes it difficult to have a conversation. The last time we went out together, it was weird and awkward

 

[supersherwolf]

Wow, I understand certain things bother certain people but I feel like you're being extremely harsh. While I certainly understand how you feel, she really is just trying to help you out and take you out maybe to take your mind off things. You can thank her and explain that your home is spotless, and that you have other plans. Seems like to me, that she's coming from a good place.

 

[kmpssbl]

I talked to husband, didn't make a big deal about it since I am so tired. He told me just to tell her to take me out another day. So I got back to her after resting some more and told her while I had other plans tomorrow with my mom and sister, she is welcome to come clean the house any other day after that.

I didn't mean for this post to offend anyone, but I've seen my fair share of MIL vent threads, and haven't seen anyone think they were harsh. Yes, I was overreacting, I was in the moment, and was not thinking straight. Just needed some advice. Thanks for the words, ladies. Just trying to get my mind off of being terrified of going to the hospital and not feeling well. Was hoping posting would help. Also still trying to work out who gets to be in the room without offending anyone

 

[HopefulMarla]

You're being harsh. Haha. But then again, when I'm tired and grouchy my MIL will ask how I am or if I'm having contractions, and I get soooooooo annoyed. Which is stupid! Because she's just being nice. My biggest complaint is she wants to help too much, and checks in on me too often bah hahaha. Then after I rest, I'll feel like I was being a jerk. I guess my point is, it's okay to be irritated. Pregnancy can make any woman get bothered by the most insignifant things. Just remember you're being harsh, and try to be kind to her. Sorry you're feeling upset

 

[curlykate]

Honestly, some days I feel the same.
My MIL and pregnancy hormones just don't mix apparently, because I have no issues with her when I'm not pregnant.
With I was pregnant with my son, I specifically told her I was turning the ringer off on my phone (on one specific day), so not to call. I pretty much just wanted a day off from her. Wouldn't you know, she called and texted me like crazy that day! Drove me up the wall!
Of course, I can look back on that, realize that I overreacted, and know that it was the pregnancy hormones, but in the moment, I just couldn't deal with the woman anymore. Rational? No. But I still felt that way at the time.

 

[sashadoll]

I talked to husband, didn't make a big deal about it since I am so tired. He told me just to tell her to take me out another day. So I got back to her after resting some more and told her while I had other plans tomorrow with my mom and sister, she is welcome to come clean the house any other day after that.

I didn't mean for this post to offend anyone, but I've seen my fair share of MIL vent threads, and haven't seen anyone think they were harsh. Yes, I was overreacting, I was in the moment, and was not thinking straight. Just needed some advice. Thanks for the words, ladies. Just trying to get my mind off of being terrified of going to the hospital and not feeling well. Was hoping posting would help. Also still trying to work out who gets to be in the room without offending anyone

You have every right to feel how you want. I also think she is trying to help but mother in laws can be overbearing and annoying always trying to take over I know mine just got out of line today questioning how we spend our money and if I wasn't so tired I would have went off the nerve! But hubby handled it without me intervening. Feel better mama! No judgement here.

 

[Fourstar]

3 identical messages in 2 minutes. That's daft. There's a touch of the 'I must have my say' about that. If you weren't 38 weeks pregnant you'd probably have handled it better but in fairness it would have annoyed me too.

 

[dlj2]

You'll be back to your normal self after baby, I certainly just want to be left alone at this stage but agree with others her offers have only been kindness. Maybe suggest a nice trip out with her after baby is here as your just wanting peace and quiet right now. X

 

[Beee]

I had the opposite problem with my mil. She never gets in touch. Dd2 is now a week old and I had to text her after 3 days saying I was surprised we hadn't heard from her. This then guilted her into calling me. We live in england but hubby is irish and his family are all over there. It's a pretty strange relationship with her really.
I would agree with other posters in that yes, you are probably being harsh as it seems that she is trying to make an effort with you. But I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship, and as others have said, pregnancy hormones have a lot to answer for! You are entitled to feel grouchy and irritable at this stage- I know I did!
Good luck anyway. I hope your outing with her goes well xx

 

[Mommy2missR]

My MIL doesn't reach out to me for anything. Which bothered me at first, but now it's just whatever. What toasted my cookies re: her recently was that I don't want ANY visitors in the hospital, other than my daughter and perhaps my mom. My husbands response to that was that his mom will be pissed if my mom is there and she's not allowed. I just don't want to have to entertain anyone while I look and feel like crap. Same at home. He'll tell them they can come over whenever or they will ask us to go over their house all the time. I just want to be left alone! So I totally feel you. It's different when it's your mom/family. You don't have to 'entertain' them.

 

[Erinsmummy]

I think you are overeacting! But its ok to be irritated, it gets frustrating at the end of your pregnancy, but it doesnt sound like shes really doing anything wrong. Your baby might not be born for weeks yet, being 2cm dilated means nothing, it doesnt mean your going to have that baby yet, plus you will go mad being home all that time! And as for who to call when the time comes, call whoever you like, who you feel comfortable with! Chill out, go to a tea room with her, you dont have to like tea lol.

 

[Catmat]

You can't help the way you feel, I am another who has no judgement. I have a "nice" MIL too, but if one knew how much was done for herself on her schedule with no thoughts of what my husband/myself/my children might be doing, one could understand that much of these things shes does for us isn't for us, but for herself. So I can get it. Don't worry too much, your little one will be here soon enough and hopefully you can get some time to make your own special moments with your family. Happy, wonderful times are just around the corner

 

[JPARR01]

Seems like she is trying to be nice. Lucky your MIL wants to spend time with you... Many MIL's want nothing to do with their dil. Xoxoxoxox

 

[minties]

Upset because someone wants to help you clean your house and then take you out for tea an cakes? Mind = boggled.