I've not been over on this forum for a while, but I wanted to know if any of you who MCed a while ago are going through similar to me. I MCed my LO in May and have been frantically TTC again since with no success. I am desperate for another BFP, but in the last few weeks I've noticed that I am feeling really weird about babies and pregnancy. Until I was 30 I was completely phobic about babies and terrified of anything to do with pregnancy and childbirth. This all changed suddenly about 3 and a half years ago, and I became desperate for a baby very quickly. I got over my fears of babies and pregnancy and was so jealous of everyone I knew who was PG or a Mum. I was devastated by my MC, and am now awaiting a Laparoscopy as my Gyny thinks I have some internal problems. In the last few weeks I have noticed that babies I see out and about are making me feel funny. When I hear them cry I feel sick and panicky, which is how I used to be years ago. Last week I went to a friend's house. She is due next week, and a few of us got together to wish her well. Another friend who is due the week after I was, was also there, and three friends with their babies. I found myself looking at my PG friends, and instead of being jealous, feeling strangely relieved that I'm not huge and facing childbirth. I didn't want to cuddle my other friend's babies either, and I was soooooo relieved when I could finally escape to collect DH from work. Two months ago, I cried at anything to do with babies and pregnancy. Now I just feel so weird about it. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME???? I am still so desperate for another BFP and I am on B&B chatting with my cycle buddies and updating my TTC journal all the time, plus all the symptom spotting and temping and POAS. But why am I feeling so scared of pregnancy and babies again? My doctor says it is a reaction to my MC, and has referred me for counselling, but I am REALLY worried that I might actually be going off the whole baby thing again, but at the same time I am devastated every month when AF arrives. I am seriously worried that I am losing the plot completely. Daren't tell DH any of this as it took me 3 years to persuade him to TTC, and scared he'll just refuse to continue. Tried to talk to my Mum about it, but she just got really upset as she is so desperate for me to have a child. Any help would be hugely appreciated.