:(

[Mummy2Angel.]

So after we lost our angel Max in march, we decided to look at if we could try for another baby, and decided yes i had a full time permanat job and so did OH, so we could easily get a flat once i was pregnant. So i was told i was being made redudant along with OH (talk about bad luck) end of july ...... we decided we wouldnt try until we both had secrue jobs again as it wasnt practical obv. However i found out a week later i was pregnant over the moon with excitinment about my baby, scared about another loss and all the other emotions as per .

Wheni found out i was pregnant last time around i told my mum the day after i found out, she cried, shouted, screamed, said horrible things, bribed me to get rid, and told me 'she'd prefer me dead than pregnant' , i still live at home so the next 9 weeks were awkward and hard, and she didnt soften at all, my dad wasnt pleased but didnt say anything. I actually think my mum was happy that i lost max, discovered at dating scan at 13 weeks

I dont know how to tell them? When to tell them? this time around. This isnt the situation i wanted but its out of my control really, ive been looking for a job but just cant find anything and neither can OH, obviulsly we will still contuie to look.....but i dont know what to do......

I am currnelty 7w+5d, and had an early scan last week, and should be having another next week, my plan was to have scan next week, private scan which ive booked for 26th and NHS dating scan and then tell write them a letter and give them the scan photos ..... i just dont know what to do, this isnt how it was supposed to be, If we dont get jobs, we can live with OH's parents thats a definate option, but i want to be able to look after my own child....not depend of family and benefits


Sorry just needed to let all my worries out

 

[Mummy2Angel.]

15 views....no replies.....thanks

 

[Damita]

Wish I could offer some advice so sorry to hear what you went through, I would write a letter, my friend got pregnant at 18 and her mum said a lot of the things your mum did but after 12 weeks she came around and now she loves her granddaughter, it was probably just a shock hun

 

[jenwigan]

really wish i could offer you some advice but never been in you situation hun... very sorry for you loss and congratulations... i think the only thing that i would do was to wait untill you have your dating scan then tell your mum? i hope everything goes well xxx

 

[hayley x]

Im so sorry for your loss of Max I cant offer any advice really but I'm sure your family will come round
xxx

 

[17thy]

There isn't much anyone can offer as far as advice. You thought you would wait, and sometimes plans don't work out. So now you are pregnant again. Theres nothing you can do about it. Whats done is done. Personally, I'd wait until I was out of the first trimester (12 weeks or so) to tell your parents. Most places won't allow abortions, and you're MUCH more likely to carry to term once you're past that point. Keep looking for jobs. Thats about all I can offer.

 

[SarahhhLouise]

Hey hun, i can understand what you went through i had a miscarriage in march and i know how devastating it is. me and my oh were planning on trying when we had our own place, but things didnt go to plan, i told my parents as soon as i could so they could get used to the idea as they were supportive last time once it had settled down, plus i knew id need the support if anything happened this time round. im not sure about your situation. i think i would wait untill after 12 week scan hun, then tell them to their face as scary as it sounds i found it better. I know what you mean about wanting to support your child yourself, i found a part time job wen i was 6 weeks pregnant and have been saving ever since, i only earn 15 pound a week but i took whatever i could get, just keep trying until you get a job thats the best way. Big Hugs anyways xxxx

 

[housewifey]

Im in a similar situation. We lost Harvey in December last year and my parents were the same, disappointed, asked me to get the 'A' word etc. I also felt like they were happy that we lost Harvey. This time round I was so scared to tell them and they didnt get told until last week when I was 17 weeks! (managed to hide it coz no bump or morning sickness!) They were surprisingly okay with it, i told them I was on the pill although I wasnt, couldnt face telling them we were NTNP. They are supporting us and know it is what we want. Your parents may be more supportive than you think.

With regards to the job, im not sure how to help you, just try everywhere you can, i can tell that you and OH want to do well for you baby and you are in a tough situation. Try not to get yourself stressed out, its not good for baby. Try asking friends and family if they know of any job oppurtunities, sometimes people forgot to offer things like this unless you ask (This is how i got my job ) I wish you a happy and helthy pregnancy, pm me if you need anything xxxxxx

 

[mayb_baby]

I lost my LO in January and I'm now pregnant, unplanned and debating me and OHs relationship however my mum is sooo supportive and I'm so sorry yours isn’t and the loss of your little angel.

At least you have a place to stay and a definite temporary resolution until you and your OH get back on your feet and no need to be ashamed the best of people have to rely on benefits at some point. Try not to beat yourself up hun xxxx

 

[Eskimobabys]

id wait til i was well into my 2nd tri u dont need all that negativity being thrown at u right now just focus on getting a job and gettin on ur feet frankly by the way she acted last time i dont think u have to tell them at!! all esp right now make em wait ur baby comes 1st and ur health u dont need to be stressing bc ur moms yelling at u to abort ur baby GL i pray u and ur OH find jobs soon!

 

[jessmckeiver]

I cant really think of an easy way to tell them if thats how your mother reacted last time. My mum was really supportive from the start.
Maybe like you say, write it in a letter, and put the scan picture in, but explain you dont need the stress and your looking for a job to support your baby.
Good Luck hun, and sorry about your previous loss

Hugsss xxxxxxxx

 

[ItsMagic]

I had a job and so did OH. We were both living across state with his family and then his mom decided to kick us out. So that meant that I had to quit my job to move. I'm living with my dad, and I'm 20. OH is the only one with a job, and we're struggling to save and find an apartment that we can afford on one income until the baby arrives and I can find a job. Things are super rough right now, and I'm just trying as hard as I can to be patient and understand that everything will work out the way that it should. Reading all of these posts really helps me to stop feeling so bad about my situation, because I could be in a worse situation. Keep your head up hun, everything should work out. I know things sure don't work out the way you plan them to, and it seems like me and OH did everything backward. We got engaged, got pregnant while living with his mom, I had to quit my job to move back in with my dad, and have been living here for 3 months, we don't have a place to live. Everything that has gone wrong has gone wrong, but I was patient and things started falling into place for me. I was without insurance up until two weeks ago, and had no care for my baby for 3 months, but finally I got it. I just had to be patient. Stay strong!

 

[KA92]

aww hunnie i wish i could be of more help. All i can say is if push comes to shove hun you know theres a place for you here, even temporarly.

There are some retail jobs going here in dundee, part time ones though. If you do have to move back with ohs parents its a bus ride away and you could maybe get a retail job here or perth?

i hope this helps you know where i am xxx

 

[hopeandpray]

don't feel bad or guilty if you have to live on benefits, you clearly aren't a scrounger and would work if you could. no matter how angry your parents are at first once they have a grandchild in their arms it'll change. maybe wait until 12 weeks and tell your mum that you would appreciate her support and reassure her you will do all you can to give this baby the best life possible

 

[lottie7]

So sorry for your loss of little baby Max.
I'm not a teen Mum - in fact I'm nearly 30! However you sound like you have a wise head on your shoulders. I'm sure there are others in your position who would just sit back and just go with the benefits option because they have no other choice. You seem to want more. To me you sound like you are enthusiastic and keen for something more. With the determination that you have, you are bound to find your feet soon. You are young, have time to learn new skills and want more to provide for a happy family.
Take a step back, stop worrying, enjoy your pregnancy and look at all your options, not just for now but after you have your baby. I'm sure your Mum will come round eventually, after all she's your Mum and she will love you no matter what.
Wishing you all the best. If I can help you at all - emotionally or to offer any advise - please send me a pm.

xx

 

[Mummy2Angel.]

Thank you ladies , its so nice to feel like some people understand, and the kind words, and supportive replies have made me feel so much better , you're right i'm not going to stress (at least not just now). I need to focusing on keeping my baby safe, its hard enough after a loss without all the added stress, i'll keep looking for jobs just now, and tell my mum and dad once i'm safely in 2nd tri, even if i cant get a job before LO arrives, and i need some government help for a while....i suppose its not the end of the world, and i can look once LO is born, thanks again ladies

 

[libbymarks198]

pm me if you want to talk hun i am sort of in the same situation, i have been pregnant before tld my parents they went nuts same as yours and then i lost the baby mum was so happy she brought me a 20 thousand dollar car. and now i am pregnant again and i know it is going to be harder telling them this time as they are going to be even more mad! i have a full time job, OH has a full time job for now but he stops that in december but we can afford to live away from home on my wage and his benefit.

good luck hun and i am so sorry for your loss.

 

[laurbagss]

Im so sorry about your loss hun I'm not going to say i could even imagine what you went through cos I cant. But you have been blessed with a second chance and I dont think you should let your parents ruin that for you. Maybe tell them after the "safe stage" but tell them weather they are happy or not - ur keeping your baby because its your child and your life. All the best with everything hun xxx