41st boy in the family.......!

[Pearls18]

So I found out on the weekend that my DH's younger brother was the 39th boy of the family and their sister was an anomaly (there are 3 boys and 1 girl) you would think we know this but I know very little about the family my DH's dad's side, they don't have any contact and it's just not discussed (I don't think they have fallen out or anything...just an odd family lol) anyway so yeah sounds like there's only been 1 girl for a few generations and she was the 4th child to my FIL and MIL!

So I guess I feel like there was never a chance....and never will be a chance. I kinda wish I knew before hand to prepare myself a bit more. I can't describe how much I love my boys, I really worried I wouldn't be able to bond with my second but that hasn't been an issue at all, it is purely the longing for a daughter.

One part of me feels we should try for one more, that if I don't I will regret it for the rest of my life (we would never have more than 3 so I know it would be our last) and even if it is a boy, I won't regret him will I? But then the other part of me feels it is pretty much guaranteed it would be a boy, and in all honesty I don't think I want to go through it all again if it wasn't a girl. I know that should answer my dilemma, we should only have a child if we want a third boy, but if it was that easy why can I not stop thinking about it?

 

[Beneli]

I was told the EXACT same thing, that I should just erase the idea of a girl from my mind because my husbands side doesn't have girls. After two boys, I'm pregnant with a girl. Don't listen to crazy talk, there's much more to it than hubby's sperm (which is known for fact to have almost 50/50 proportions of females to males)

 

[kimmy04]

My hubby's side of the family has no girls either. I have a son and was so convinced this baby was a boy too but I was told girl at my 20 week scan!

 

[Misscalais]

There's a mix on both sides of our family so can't really relate on that, I'm having my 3rd boy when FIL is the only boy out of 3 sisters in his family, hubby has one full blood brother and two half brothers ( in my opinion they don't count in the equation as they aren't from the same dad ) I have 3 sisters and only 1 brother.
At the end of the day I think it's just luck of the draw. 50/50 chance, my mum and dad had 3 girls, boy, girl.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

I can relate to how you feel. We are currently taking about trying for our third (oh's second) and we would both really like a little girl as we are sure three is our limit. However I am stuck wondering if I will just be left disappointed I know technically its still 50/50 as my oh has only had one boy and he has two sisters. Etc etc. I have looked at lots of convincing swaying methods online but I'm not sure what to think.

 

[Beneli]

I can relate to how you feel. We are currently taking about trying for our third (oh's second) and we would both really like a little girl as we are sure three is our limit. However I am stuck wondering if I will just be left disappointed I know technically its still 50/50 as my oh has only had one boy and he has two sisters. Etc etc. I have looked at lots of convincing swaying methods online but I'm not sure what to think.

I swayed for a girl with this baby and am 35 weeks pregnant with a girl. Whether it was chance, luck, or the swaying...I always say try the swaying because it doesn't hurt!

 

[motherofboys]

I have a good friend whos husband hadn't had a girl in the family for generations then she got a girl after 2 boys.
My DHs family was a line of all boys, His great grandad was all boys (don't know how many) then his grandad one of 6, he had 3 boys, and then his eldest son (dh dad) had a girl followed by 2 boys while his younger brother had 3 boys. Now all DHs male cousins have daughters and theres only us with 4 boys and BIL with 1 boy (and 1 girl) to pass on the family name. Any boys in the family belong to DH female cousins.
I don't think its impossible as all men produce both male and female sperm, I think its just unlikely for us, as there is obviously something very boy friendly in the genes.
in my family it was very girl heavy, like my nans mum was 1 of 14 and only had 1 brother. My mum was the first to have more than 1 boy, with twins. I am still the only girl as I have 3 brothers and I'm the first girl for how ever many generations not to produce a girl!

 

[tinkerbelle93]

There is quite a strong history of boys in my DH's side too. Looking back over his paternal side, the men only seem to have boys! I know what you mean about feeling like it's pre-set to only have one gender. I'm not overly-dissapointed at the idea of an all-boy family but when I look at the history of boys in DH's family, it makes it less exciting when thinking about future children, like there isn't the whole exciting unknowingness 'will it be a boy or a girl next?' and feeling like you have an equal chance of either.

That said, I don't think there is any scientific explanation for gender prevalence in families? So I wouldn't rule out the possibility of a girl at all. I can understand your dilemma on choosing whether or not to have another child and think people will have differing opinions, which you've pretty much outlined in your post. I think you'll come to a comfortable decision with time though. X

 

[Pearls18]

Thanks everyone. I did some reading up on it out of interested, I found an interesting article which looked at a lot if family trees and it found that if you look at the wider population it is generally equal (slightly more boys) but when you looked at it on a family level there was a definite link of some male lines swaying to one gender, they said there was a baby boy boom after the war which they gave good reasoning too (sorry I'm not repeating well, will try to find the link).

But it's a scientific fact that all men have 50% of each gender for sperm, it's the way they're made apparently so it's totally untrue that some men have more of one or the other, I wonder if they can just make "stronger" male sperm?

I duno, still going back and forth, but I think it's helped in that if we decide to try for a third we are going to take it as "do we want a third boy?" And not try in the hope for a girl.

 

[Jess29]

But it's a scientific fact that all men have 50% of each gender for sperm, it's the way they're made apparently so it's totally untrue that some men have more of one or the other, I wonder if they can just make "stronger" male sperm?

I duno, still going back and forth, but I think it's helped in that if we decide to try for a third we are going to take it as "do we want a third boy?" And not try in the hope for a girl.

I wonder about this too. There must be a reason for it. On my husbands side there are more boys than girls. I'd say between 2/3's and 3/4th are boys. We have four boys together and will find out soon what our next one is. I think you have a good attitude to plan on the next one being a boy. Good luck in your decision!

 

[motherofboys]

I wrote a long reply on here last night, using my phone and as I went to press send the screen jumped, I pressed on something else and my post was gone. So I'll try to remember what I wrote.

From what I have read the way that sperm is made (which means, as you say, all men have 50% of each) means that no one gender can be healthier than the other. What can affect it though is things like your natural ph level, in both the man and the woman. While one persons could rest mid way and they end up with either gender, some might rest slightly higher or lower which will be more detrimental to one gender or the other.
I will be trying swaying next time and although I don't know if it's 'true' a lot if it would make sense, and I figure after 4 boys what's the harm in trying a little change in diet and lifestyle, if I get another boy I will at least know it's how it was meant to be. I'm happy to accept another boy into my family.
But when you look at boy heavy or girl heavy families, I wonder if maybe things such as a learned lifestyle from each previous generation could make a difference, in line with sway theories. Such as diet, if you grow up eating a certain way, the same as your parents did, you could unknowingly be doing a sway diet.
I'm just speculating here but could be a partial explanation

 

[Pearls18]

Thanks motheeofboys, and thank you for re-writing I HATE it when that happens!

Do you know when you will be trying again? Would love to know what you do to sway, I remember briefly looking just before TTC DS2 but it looked exhausting so I didnt we then ended up falling pregnant a couple of months early 4 days before I thought ovulation was happening with a broken condom a few days after my coil was removed so he was definitely meant to be

When I look at lifestyle, diet and pretty much every sway technique we definitely have a bias towards boys the only thing that wasn't boy was how far from ovulation we were (according to shettles) but I didn't track so I'm pretty sure I ovulated quite early as I think I got ov pain the next day. Even the Chinese gender chart said boy both times lol.

 

[motherofboys]

Chinese gender charts have been 50/50 for me, and shettles has proven wrong for me when tracking ovulation.
I will not be doing an exhausting sway, partly because that will lead to me obsessing, which will raise my testosterone levels and sway boy in itself. I feel my obsession with becoming pregnancy and doing every charting practise there was last time may have contributed to another boy. But like you almost all of my lifestyle and diet are boy friendly.
My plan is to get DH to take olive leaf extract, which is good for sperm health but also sways pink. He is 45 so sperm health is something to think about.
I will be doing cardio exercise, and be doing a low everything diet. Low calories, low fat, cutting down/out meat, using less salt. I also will stop snacking. My diet ATM is very bad and I constantly snack. I will still be having enough intake of everything to remain healthy, but will just be at the lower end of the recommended scale. Cutting back too much could stop ovulation altogether.
My diet has always been very high in everything, with me grazing all day.
The way I plan to do it, will probably be better for my health than how I was eating before lol
We don't know when it will be yet though. Dh wants to move first and I still have no AF since ds4s arrival.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

See I might try more to sway
But I already do alot of the "girl" stuff so that is what makes me skeptical. . Its says cut down on meat well I have never eaten meat! I don't eat salt and I am a dairy fiend! My mum on the other hand is a strict vegan and has 3 girls...

the only thing I can think of is timing and perhaps some supplements. The Chinese gender chart has been right for me so far. So I might have a nosey at that, thinking about trying towards end of the year. Maybe December onwards !

 

[motherofboys]

It's more the fat and protein in the meat that you want to cut out so if that's coming from other sources then meat isn't making much difference. It's mostly about the calories and nutrients rather than the type of food itself if you see what I mean.