4th loss in a row - now what?

[LacePrincess]

Sweetkat, that would be a shame. Maybe it's time for some therapy? And there's always donor sperm or embryos too.

 

[Sweetkat]

Sweetkat, that would be a shame. Maybe it's time for some therapy? And there's always donor sperm or embryos too.

If the fragmentation comes back bad and it's to do with the medication, then it's his fault for saying for 2/3 years in a row he didn't want kids. We weren't even using protection - he just pulled out every time. I mean all he had to do was the obvious, and now there may be no way to have another baby together

He has 3 so don't think he cares either way. I only have one DD and I am desperate for my own babies

 

[Sweetkat]

My OH's DNA fragmentation results are back and they aren't good. 44% fragmentation and at anything over 30% even IVF doesn't work. Only option is ICSI.

I am waiting for karyotyping results and then will have killer cells etc. Another Dr also suggested AMH. Once have had all the results and provided all ok going for IUI with donor sperm. I can't face any more miscarriages because of sperm issues.

Feeling depressed

 

[Sweetkat]

So have had most results back (karyotype, clotting, thyroid and antibodies). All clear and no issues. Just waiting for NK killer cells to come back. At the moment looks like fragmentation is the issue, which I suspected all along.

Debating whether to have AMH test done too?!

How are you all doing?

 

[LacePrincess]

hey Sweetkat,

We're still waiting on our karyotyping results. Takes forever. My clinic won't do the NK one or the fragmentation.

Update on me.....probably going through another m/c. Sigh. Haven't started bleeding yet but the hpt's aren't as dark as they should be which is not good. So early birthday present for me, yay......m/c #5 in a row and fourth in 13 months. Geez.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

So sorry you are going through this again Lace. I had 6 losses between last Feb and this March. I have no answers as to my issues and haven't been pg since. It's so frustrating and upsetting I just want to scream.
I hope you can get some answers.

 

[LacePrincess]

Ready - it sucks so much. Are you doing anything different? I mean I'd willingly go through another dozen m/c if it meant there was a chance it would work, but I feel like a fool believing it might turn out differently next time.

I don't know what to do. We're thinking about donor sperm IUI at this point. I'm dreading hitting 6, and I can't seem to find anyone even online that has had this many m/c and managed to have a live birth.

 

[Sweetkat]

Lace and ready - so sorry you are going through this. I had my 3rd loss in June and have had since had all tests (thyroid, clotting, NK, karyotype, anti bodies). All came back clear apart from elevated NK. OH has 44% fragmentation and currently given up the medication which is likely to be causing this and on antioxidants and Proxeed plus.

I am torn re whether to try this month (won't be 3 months off medication yet) or to wait until next month.

I think other ppl with multiple losses may have other issues (e.g. genetic causes) and then the odds are against you. But if it's just one known curable cause (e.g. Clotting or male factor) i think there is every hope things will be ok in the future. That's what I am telling myself anyway, but terrified the same thing will happen.

Also, my last loss was due to trisomy 21, which seems to be completely unrelated to either NK or OH's sperm. So that could just have been bad luck?? Otherwise the embryo was normal.

Good luck and let me know how you are both getting on.

P.S. My dr said all pregnancies have a miscarriage risk of 20%. With elevated DNA fragmentation it rises to 35% and with NK to 45%. Ok so of course that's high, but not hopeless!!

 

[Sweetkat]

hey Sweetkat,

We're still waiting on our karyotyping results. Takes forever. My clinic won't do the NK one or the fragmentation.

Update on me.....probably going through another m/c. Sigh. Haven't started bleeding yet but the hpt's aren't as dark as they should be which is not good. So early birthday present for me, yay......m/c #5 in a row and fourth in 13 months. Geez.

My dr said if you have children it's not likely to be karyotype issues. Fingers crossed that this one sticks.

Are you doing ICSI or natural? Have you considered ICSI with IMSI? I think if nothing else works we will try donor sperm, although we both want to his OH's sperm.

The odd thing is that my period was 9 days late and I had a thin line on one test, but not had unprotected sex. So I think maybe tests are a bit crazy sometimes? Either that or I am the crazy one

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Lace-unfortunately stats don't look good the more m/c you have. Percentage increases with each one. I can't find anyone to test my nk cells, it seems in Canada there isn't a lot of stock put in immunological issues.
I haven't done anything different over the summer as I have just been trying to enjoy myself and my family. I see a ND every week and yesterday she did a reassessment and is going to try some different things. She wants me to start vitex (I do have a textbook cycle but my periods are only 2 days). I feel like throwing in the towel most days but am driven to have another. I saw a medium last month and she said the universe wants me to have a 3rd child. I'm holding on to hope that it's in my future.
I hope for you too it's still to come.
Sweet- it's great that Dh has been off his meds and hopefully a pg happens quickly. I think it was you that said he can only be off of them for so long?

 

[LacePrincess]

Sweetkat - yeah I don't think they'll find anything on the karyotyping for us either. There's just no way that we could've had 3 healthy conceptions without any losses if there was a karyotype problem.

Our BFP's so far have been natural on Femara. I have one round of IVF/ICSI left, and after that we're done with expensive ART as we can't afford it anymore.


Ready - yeah it seems Canada isn't very cutting edge. It sucks, I'd love to know if there's anything going on with NK for me or immune issues, but it's not really bought into around here it seems? I could travel to the US but really, I just don't think we'd go that far anymore. I think there does come a point for us when we should just close this chapter of our lives and move on.

Otoh, I'm still thinking about donor sperm! I'm still a bit squicked out by that tbh. Not sure why, but I'm not (yet) okay with trying with stuff from another guy.

Heheheh I'm almost desperate enough to consult a psychic myself LOL!!!

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Lace-I saw an RE in Jan who totally disregarded any questions I had about immunological issues and said I need to stop reading stuff on the Internet. He then said he want to give me some drug that would over stimulate my eggs to pop out many come ovulation in hopes of catching a good egg. It all rubbed me the wrong way so I went the natural route. I'm of the mindset that if my body doesn't want to do it then it's not meant to be. I'm not sure when I will truly be done so for now I keep ticking along hoping for the best.

 

[LacePrincess]

Ready - wow ouch, that's patronizing. Yeah RE's (and dr's for that matter) love to poo-poo 'the internet'. But ffs I'm not getting my info off yahoo answers. I'm actually trying to read medical studies whenever possible.

Besides, my best friend is a Google queen and also a HS biology teacher. So she knows how to find medical research.

I'm starting to lean towards just letting my body do it's thing too. I'd never in my life had so much as a chemical until I started with procedures and meds and supplements. I'm starting to wonder too if I should just let my body get off all this stuff and let it figure it out on its own. Superovulation (even just Femara) has helped me get preggo fast but sure as heck hasn't helped me KEEP any of them.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

My concern was I'd diminish my egg reserve fast and send my body in to a quick menopause. It just didn't sound right when he was talking about it. I try not to think about not having my rainbow based on the decision that I don't want intervention. I said to Dh from day one I will not do Ivf or anything that will cause unnecessary stress. I feel like that is the best decision for us. Maybe if I had no kids I would go that route just to make sure we tried everything. It's just so hard when all of your friends are popping out babies like its their job!

 

[Sweetkat]

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for all of us. My OH is having another fragmentation test this Friday (he will have been off the medication for 2.5 months) in the hope that there is improvement. I am actually due to ovulate any day now and we didn't use protection yesterday but he is too scared to come inside me . We are waiting until next month in the hope that the fragmentation is much better by then.


The really annoying thing is that the results take 2-3 weeks to come through

I really think our babies are on our way to us

Hugs

 

[Sweetkat]

Ok so have the fragmentatiom results back now that OH has been off the medication for 2.5 months. Zero improvement and exactly same fragmentation -44%.

He has been on anti oxidants and proxeed for the last month as well. So now the option is to wait for a bit (no idea how long) and retest or try as is and hope for the best.

With waiting feels like a waste of time and with trying now scared will have a 4th MMC

Sigh

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Sweetkat sorry here wasn't any improvement. And you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. For me I would try anyways with the knowledge that a mc is more likely than someone with no issues. I'm not good at waiting though.

 

[Sweetkat]

I am definitely stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Option would be

- test fragmentation in one week and then depending on results try in October
- retest in about 3/4 weeks - try in November
- use donor sperm
- try to find someone else to have a baby with

The last 2 options seem drastic, but after 3 MMCs I do feel like drastic action is needed . Plus as I have said, OH has 2 other kids (and one together) and for 3/4 years he didn't even want children with me.

Now I don't know if trying earlier would have produced a different result, but OH wasn't on this medication which the leaflet for it says affects sperm DNA integrity and we were both younger...

Sigh

 

[ReadynWaiting]

I def feel your frustration! I try not to dwell on the what ifs because I would drive myself insane. In saying that, I think about anther baby on a daily basis and I can't stand it. People just keep having babies around me like it's their job.
Personally I never wanted invasive measures to get pg. After 3 years and 6 losses I am thinking differently. I still don't want to do Ivf but I also don't want to regret it in 10 years that I didn't try everything.

 

[LacePrincess]

Well it's official, we're having our fifth loss in a row. I started a new thread about it here:

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/miscarriage-support/2410829-fifth-loss-row-worst-sequel-world.html