Fireflies
Mummy to an Angel (7w3d)
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2011
- Messages
- 153
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Hi ladies.
I woke up at about 6am bleeding
I'd been spotting all day yesterday but stupidly shrugged it off when it came down to actually going to the hospital. So I actually just put a towel on my bed, shoved a pad on & went back to sleep. I thought it would just go away again & then I could just not go to hospital. I think the reason I did this is because I don't want to go into hospital & for them to say its a MC, so stupidly i pretended it wasn't happening to me.
Well... I just woke up properly this time. It honestly looks like i could have been peeing blood for the amount that is there. I then went to the toilet & out pops a clot.
I broke down in tears. The only person in the house is my 16 year old brother. He found me & sorted me out & is now checking bus times to get me over to the hospital. Its sad that he has more common sense than me, but really after seeing the clot I don't think I could pretend it wasnt happening anymore anyways.
FoB is 40 miles away & my brother can't stay with me as he has an exam revision thing at school today. I feel so alone.
I also feel like its my fault. Im nitpicking everything ive done in the last few days & wondering if anything ive done has caused this. And now im thinking what if i went to hospital when i first saw that little bit of brown blood. Could they have stopped the bleeding? Probably not, I dont think theres much they can do, but all logic has kind of wiped itself from my brain atm.
So theres a little update on my life at the moment.
I'll probably get to the hospital for 11.30am, im hoping to hear its anything other than miscarriage. I want to see that little heartbeat flickering & hear the whoosh more than anything.
Wish me luck ladies.
I woke up at about 6am bleeding
I'd been spotting all day yesterday but stupidly shrugged it off when it came down to actually going to the hospital. So I actually just put a towel on my bed, shoved a pad on & went back to sleep. I thought it would just go away again & then I could just not go to hospital. I think the reason I did this is because I don't want to go into hospital & for them to say its a MC, so stupidly i pretended it wasn't happening to me. Well... I just woke up properly this time. It honestly looks like i could have been peeing blood for the amount that is there. I then went to the toilet & out pops a clot.
I broke down in tears. The only person in the house is my 16 year old brother. He found me & sorted me out & is now checking bus times to get me over to the hospital. Its sad that he has more common sense than me, but really after seeing the clot I don't think I could pretend it wasnt happening anymore anyways.
FoB is 40 miles away & my brother can't stay with me as he has an exam revision thing at school today. I feel so alone.
I also feel like its my fault. Im nitpicking everything ive done in the last few days & wondering if anything ive done has caused this. And now im thinking what if i went to hospital when i first saw that little bit of brown blood. Could they have stopped the bleeding? Probably not, I dont think theres much they can do, but all logic has kind of wiped itself from my brain atm.
So theres a little update on my life at the moment.
I'll probably get to the hospital for 11.30am, im hoping to hear its anything other than miscarriage. I want to see that little heartbeat flickering & hear the whoosh more than anything.
Wish me luck ladies.
so sorry. don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong!
