:/

[112110]

FOB has texted me saying if I don't allow his random girlfriends around Brayden we're going to see an attorney.

Okay I know someone will hop on my cock about well you let him around your boyfriend. DIFFERENCE BEING. We have been dating almost 7 months, them a few weeks. Brayden needs some kind of POSITIVE male figure in his life, he already has a positive female figure (muah :smug). He isn't doing this FOR Brayden he's doing it for himself. He's using Brayden just to spite me. He does have all the criminal charges but never got any jail time. I have no idea if he pleaded or not guilty or what. He has always had supervised visits by me, non court appointed. I'm all for going and getting complete full custody with supervised visits, but what if he gets more. He's obviously still abusive as he's been calling me names and such in texts.

 

[rjb]

save all the texts he sends you in case he does try to take it to court

 

[QuintinsMommy]

its up to you. if they are supervised visit by you I don't really see the harm of the girl coming over to meet LO
but if you are really against it just say "take me to court then" save the texts and see what happens in court but then its out of your hands.

 

[Mei190]

Bit irresponsible that he wants his gf of a few weeks to be involved, if he pays to go through court I don't see what difference there is going to be to that. Just my opinion, I wouldn't want it if that happened to me. Sure if they were together for a while then maybe she could be slightly involved.

I agree, keep the texts, then you can show (if need be) that he isn't trying to be civil with you in the slightest.

 

[112110]

He has just informed me he is only trying and will continue and hopes to make my life a living hell.

 

[10.11.12]

I'm in sort of the same position. FOB has gotten a girl pregnant and they're engaged so on supervised visits we go to their house and I don't think it's fair of me to ask her to leave her own house.

 

[Desi's_lost]

You are lo's main caregiver so in my opinion letting your oh around him is a different story.
honestly, i'd keep those messages and take him to court, let him spend the money! besides, you can stop visitation all together until things are sorted out in court which could take months.

 

[hot tea]

Honestly, as you also have a partner who is around your LO... I think it is a bit unfair f you to say he can't have his partner around. Yes it is only a few weeks, but I don't feel like it is your right to control that aspect. If you had some mutual agreement that neither of you would introduce partners until they "serious" stage it would be different - because frankly seven months is not going to be the "serious" stage, either.

You need to ask yourself if it is really for the sake of your child, or for yourself, that you don't want her around. I highly doubt she will even attempt at taking on a mommy role with you supervising. And if she did, you are there to correct her tactfully.

I would try and come to terms with it. But that's just me.

 

[hot tea]

Double post

 

[10.11.12]

I kind of agree with hot_tea. Just because FOB has a new partner that doesn't mean she's going to become his mother it just means Brayden will have one more person who loves him.

 

[Desi's_lost]

Her fob clearly stated that he's TRYING to make her life hell...hmmm doesnt sound like the greatest father to me.

Dont think i'd want my child around that either. Actually I know for fact considering my own situation. =/

 

[QuintinsMommy]

He has just informed me he is only trying and will continue and hopes to make my life a living hell.

just don't text/talk/anything unless you need to talk about LO if he is texting you rudly don't answer. He can't make your life hell if you don't feed the fire.

 

[rjb]

i think it is reasonable for her to decide who is in her child's life...
i wouldn't let sam's girlfriend of a few weeks around Adelaide. there's no reason to encourage instability of women coming in and out of LO's life.

 

[hot tea]

It is unreasonable to try and control who the father introduces, though. Within reason. Whether she likes it or not, that is her child's dad. Whethee he is a good one or not is out of her hands. This is how the cards played out, you can't change that - so IMO enforce your rules where you can and watch closely.

 

[rjb]

It is unreasonable to try and control who the father introduces, though. Within reason. Whether she likes it or not, that is her child's dad. Whethee he is a good one or not is out of her hands. This is how the cards played out, you can't change that - so IMO enforce your rules where you can and watch closely.

personally, i disagree. suppose that your child's father wanted to introduce, say, a meth head, to your child?
or just, idk, a bad person? someone who you don't know if you can trust?
and it's not healthy for a kid to have a bunch of people in and out of the boy's life.
if this was a girl letting every single bf of a week into her kid's life i'd say the same thing though.

 

[hot tea]

Clearly a drug addict or whatever is a bit different from some dumb/naive girl who is dating the FOB, though. Unless of course they are both dangerous drug addicts, then neither should see the child. But in the case of her FOb just doing it to bug her, well. Turn the other cheek and give a great smile. If tge OP is present for all visits, she has the ultimate power anyways.

 

[xgem27x]

Keep all threatening texts as evidence if he is going to take you to court, keep all your messages to him clean, civil, and only about Brayden, like Rome said, dont communicate with him unless its to do with Brayden!

That way if it goes to court, you have evidence of his threatening behaviour, and as long as you are smart and dont send anything nasty back, then he wont have a leg to stand on!!

That is of course if he does take you to court, he might just be bluffing!

In some ways I agree that FOB should be allowed to have his gf see Brayden, in the same way that if you had a female friend from school for example, you wouldnt mind Brayden seeing her... if FOB had a male friend from school, you wouldnt mind Brayden seeing them... its because she is FOBs gf that will play a "step mum" for a few weeks and then clear off, but this isnt so bad

I know its not the same, but the twins "godfather" has gfs, and everytime its the whole "shes the one" story, and theyre over all the time, become very close with the twins, and then they break up... and its not affecting the twins too much!

What affects LO is if when he is with FOB, and FOB and gf are arguing in front of LO, taking drugs, not looking after him properly, etc, THEN I would understand why you wouldnt want it

Hope that made sense, I typed that well quick xx

 

[112110]

I've seen the 'drug addict' bit come up in a few of your replies, I would like to state that FOB is a drug addict.
I will not delete any of his texts I didn't call him any names or anything. I am going to talk to an attorney Tuesday before he can get the chance, to see what they say. He only wants to see an attorney to let get his gf to be able to see him, not for him to see him more etc. FOB does not look after LO when I'm there just sits there, texts and occasionally plays with him.

The girlfriend thing at the time I posted this did come across as my main point but now that I've had time to simmer down I think the fact that he said he was going to talk to an attorney for the sole fact that I didn't want her there. He can not have him alone, he is unstable, druggie and he's abusive.

 

[~RedLily~]

I think going to get some advice is the best and then go from there

 

[amygwen]

^ WSS

I don't blame you for not wanting your LO around FOB, he sounds crazy