A funny for you.......

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by XKatX, Oct 8, 2008.

  1. XKatX

    XKatX Well-Known Member

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    Just to keep you all amused on a sunny Wednesday morning!!!

    Top Four Adult Jokes

    Fourth Place:

    A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
    his elbow goes into her breast.
    They are both quite startled.

    The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
    I know you'll forgive me.'
    She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Third Place :
    One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
    The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
    The husband, rejected, turns over.
    A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
    'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Runner Up:
    Bill worked in a pickle factory.
    He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day
    to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.
    He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
    His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
    One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife co uld see at once that something was seriously wrong.
    'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
    'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'
    'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.
    'Yes, I did.' he replied.

    'My God, Bill, what20happened?'

    'I got fired.'
    'No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?'
    'Oh...she got fired too.'
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Winner:
    A couple had been married for 50 years.
    They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
    'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
    'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'
    Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
    'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly r eplied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
    'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
    ===============================================
     
  2. Uvlollypop

    Uvlollypop finally a mum

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  3. Elli21

    Elli21 Well-Known Member

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    I have to say i think the runner up is the best one...
     
  4. vickie83

    vickie83 Mama to 2 little ladybugs

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  5. nikky0907

    nikky0907 Well-Known Member

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    :rofl:
    The runner-up was awesome! I think it got robbed of the first place!
     
  6. NickyT75

    NickyT75 RIP Sophie my angel

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  7. Jem

    Jem Mummy of 2

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    very good! x
     
  8. Chris77

    Chris77 Mommy to PJ and Gavin

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  9. ladymilly

    ladymilly proud mammy

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