A heartbreaking day!!!

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by kmbabycrazy, Nov 12, 2011.

  1. kmbabycrazy

    kmbabycrazy Well-Known Member

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    SO my friend bought her newborn son round to meet me today and he was so beautiful!!!! It was horrible. I held him for three hours straight rocking him back to sleep and changing him and it was so confusing. I felt so happy to be holding a newborn baby and so so very sad that it wasn't my newborn baby. OH wouldn't come anywhere near us and when I told him that it was nice to be holding a baby he said well i'm sure she'll let you hold him whenever. I'm so sad and I feel like I shouldn't talk about it but I just want to literally get on my knees and beg him to let us try now or maybe even just wait until christmas is out of the way. I just don't know if I can wait this long my heart is tearing in two just thinking about it and I just feel like crying ever since he left. It just made things worse, I don't know why I did it to myself :cry:
     
  2. kittylady

    kittylady Mother of 3, due #4

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  3. calm

    calm Well-Known Member

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    I know those feelings... holding newborns brings it all to surface :hugs:
     
  4. Medzi

    Medzi Well-Known Member

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  5. butterfly1988

    butterfly1988 Well-Known Member

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  6. EmilyCJ

    EmilyCJ Well-Known Member

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    Oh honey that is hard :hugs:!! do you mind me asking if there is a reason you're waiting 9 months (i spied your ticker)? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  7. mamadonna

    mamadonna Well-Known Member

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  8. MissFernandez

    MissFernandez TTC#1 with PCOS (Natural)

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    lots of hugs honey xx :hugs:
     
  9. kmbabycrazy

    kmbabycrazy Well-Known Member

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    It's a money thing really, we don't have our own place yet and I'm only 3 months into a new job and we want to be stable first...and they're obviously brilliant reasons despite the fact we'll probably have a house beginning of next year and from the way my boss speaks about me being able to cope while she's on holiday late next year I think this job is pretty promising in the stability factor so I don't understand why he won't bring it forward even a little it was all looking promising the other day and now he says he's not budging and I actually think it's just stubborn thing. He doesn't want to move it so that he can hold on to the control of it all :(
     
  10. broody.k

    broody.k Active Member

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    Hugs Xx its so hard I don't know what to say other than I know how you feel.
     
  11. schnoogles

    schnoogles Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: its so frustrating, I know that feeling
     
  12. hopscotch

    hopscotch mommy to my angel

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    :hugs: I know how you feel, My best friend was pregnant at the same time as me (she was much further along though) but I ended up losing my baby in the May and she gave birth in the July, I was the first one outside of her family she wanted to introduce him too but it was painful knowing I wasn't going to have my girl and I wasn't able to go full term. I love him so much with all my heart but everytime I see him he reminds me of the baby I lost :(

    It's horrible having those feeling all at once! I dread going because everytime I'm there I feel like crying and I do after I leave, but I hate having to say goodbye to him too.

    And my best friend is just amazing about the whole situation, she just lets me get on with him and have my moment with him.
     
  13. kmbabycrazy

    kmbabycrazy Well-Known Member

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    I know it's hard to respond to, i just wanted to get it out because I can't say this stuff to anyone else because OH just sees it as me pressuring him and nobody else wants to know ya know...I don't want everyone to think i'm just moaning all the time. But at the same time if i keep it inside it just eats me up so it's nice to have somewhere like BnB and have you lovely ladies just to moan to as you won't judge because you all know how i'm feeling xx
     
  14. freeyansi

    freeyansi Member

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    I just don't know if I can wait this long my heart is tearing in two just thinking about it and I just feel like crying ever since he left.
     

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