a little advice :)

[redrenault92]

hello all. Im a healthy 18 yr old with a temporary job living with my parents. My partner is 28 with a secure job, a child from a previous relationship and lives with his parents. We have decided to start trying for a baby as i feel ready and mature enough to be responsible for another life. Eventhough my boyfriend wants another child, he thinks i havent thought things through even though i have, and feels now isnt the right time for me due to my job contract ending soon. I however think now would be a good time, as my house is big enough for a baby, and even though im not financialy secure, im confident things will work as my baby will be the top priority. We both realy want this, but i'd like a view from outside of our relationship. Any advice? X

 

[libbymarks198]

i think you should live together first, and move out of home but thats just my opinion, sorry.
i would not want to plan a baby with someone i didnt live with and have to rely on my parents house to live.

goodluck with what ever you choose

xxx

 

[AP]

Hey hunny
I would recommend posting this in the TTC or WTT boards, as you need to be confirmed pregnant for this section

But I agree with Libby - move out first and live with your partner before bring a child into the world. It would really be a better option

 

[redrenault92]

thanks for the advice girls- the problem is its hard to find homes both private rent and council where i live. However if i do fall pregnant we will definately look to find somewhere, but this proberly wont be before the birth due to housing shortage in the area. But thankyou for the advice, i'll chat with the boyfriend about it later! X

 

[redrenault92]

thanks for the advice girls- the problem is its hard to find homes both private rent and council where i live. However if i do fall pregnant we will definately look to find somewhere, but this proberly wont be before the birth due to housing shortage in the area. But thankyou for the advice, i'll chat with the boyfriend about it later! X

 

[Hotbump]

I agree with everyone else. You need to move out first. Living with parents while pregnant will cause you unecessary stress which you dont need when pregnant. Try looking for a place to live first. With my first pregnancy i lived with my parents the first month and it was horrible. I was so glad when i moved out with my OH.

 

[redrenault92]

thanks for the advice girls- the problem is its hard to find homes both private rent and council where i live. However if i do fall pregnant we will definately look to find somewhere, but this proberly wont be before the birth due to housing shortage in the area. But thankyou for the advice, i'll chat with the boyfriend about it later! X

 

[redrenault92]

thanks for the advice girls- the problem is its hard to find homes both private rent and council where i live. However if i do fall pregnant we will definately look to find somewhere, but this proberly wont be before the birth due to housing shortage in the area. But thankyou for the advice, i'll chat with the boyfriend about it later! X

 

[Tanara]

The biggest mistake girls make is not living with their boyfriends first, you two might not even get along while living together and adding a baby into that on purpose isnt going to help. I agree with your boyfriend you have not thought this threw. When you have a place of your own, and are financially stable WITHOUT your boyfriend then start TTC. No relationship is 100% as alot of girls on here can tell you. Make sure you can take care of a baby on your own before bring one into the world.

 

[Desi's_lost]

Agreed, even at 28 nothing is stopping him from walking out the door.

 

[vinteenage]

Move out, live with your boyfriend.

Also, I really think it's best to have some financial security when expecting a baby. That's my 100% top stress right now and if I had the choice I would wait to have a child until there was more stability in that department. Babies cost a lot of money. Diapers, formula if you need it, child care eventually, clothing, then school supplies and everything...

Really, really consider this. It's not something to jump into.

ETA: Also, being pregnant and expecting a child put a lot of stress on a relationship. My fiancé and I have been together for three years, and generally have a very good relationship but when I became pregnant a lot of stress, fear, worry about our families coming together, etc, caused lots of fighting and emotion.

 

[sequeena]

Hi hun, deff live with your OH first. I found that OH and I became a completely different couple when we moved in together (for the better).

 

[Mum2#1]

Im pretty much in the same position as you, except my OH is a bit older, and I am 18 weeks pregnant.
You can't rush these things, you both have to be comfortable with it, otherwise it just wont work or be what you expected...

Goodluck!

 

[redrenault92]

Thankyou all for your comments. I discussed the issue with my partner and he completely agrees and i can definately say i also agree. I have a brother living with me who has autism and i have realised it wouldnt be fair to have a baby living here as it may upset him. Anyway, we have an appointment with a housing officer next week and we are being put on a housing list. it could take up to a year to get a place, but its a start. I have also increased the amount i put into my savings each month in order to be able to afford everything we wil need. Thank you all for opening my eyes to this stuff i really didnt consider to be a problem! xx