A little o/t maybe hormones?

[Ozzieshunni]

So, I moved to Scotland from California back in December 2009. I knew it would not be easy leaving my family and friends, but I wanted to do this for me! We went back for Christmas 2010 and made the decision that we were going to move back to California some time next year, finances and LO's health permitting. I never expected people to jump on planes all the time to come visit me. I know it costs a lot.

Fast forward to now: LO is coming by c-section in two weeks. I have asked my parents since the beginning of my pregnancy if they were planning on coming to see him over here after he was born. Again, I understand the cost, but honestly, I know that's not an issue for them. Since I've asked, my mom has been making every excuse not to give me a straight answer. I got some response a couple weeks ago asking me if I wanted them to come like two or three months after he's born. I said that I would probably like them to come sooner. That's been the end of the topic pretty much. I'm beginning to feel like they (mainly my mom, cause my dad won't go without her) don't want to come see him at all! I know it's not easy having a daughter overseas and now a grandchild (their first) as well, but honestly, I feel she needs to make some kind of effort! She hasn't even bought anything for the baby! Even MY DAD sent me something for him! Can anyone explain this? Am I missing something? Am I being irrational?

ETA: I take that back, she did get him some cot toys.

 

[Doodlepants]

That sucks hun. Do you think it's worth asking her outright if there's a reason she seems to be putting the visit off? If money's not an issue for her then it might be a good idea to ask?
x

 

[Violet3]

I agree with the lady above. I would just politely ask why she seems to not seem too interested in coming over as soon as baby's here. Do you think that they might be worrying about where they'd stay if they came over ? They might not want to splash out on staying in a hotel but also might feel bad to ask if they can stay with you as they may think you'd rather be alone; just you, your OH and the baby.
I hope you can work something out ! Good luck ! X

P.S. I have no idea why anyone would want to move from gorgeous sunny California to grey and rainy Scotland ! No offense meant xx

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Yeah, I get that a lot. We've offered multiple times for them to stay with us There is space. I'll probably bring it up again next week.

 

[Pippin]

No, I'd be pissed at them too. I want my mum at least here as soon as I get home from hospital. It's understandable you feel hurt.

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

aw hun my mum with my first - throw in the fact that she was supposed to be birth partner - decided that a week after my dd she was going to go to india for like a month! i didnt put any pressure on her to change her mind she did that by herself but turns out she was majorly depressed and it didnt matter when she was going away she just wanted to leave! when my ds was born he was 14 days late and was in intensive care afterwards, she felt terrible that she was planning on not being there for me and told me that she honestly just did not think she was just not feeling at all herself

maybe something is going on with your mum that is making her not really think past the end of her own nose . . . because they are so far away it must be easier to hide anything wrong . . i would simply tell her how much you want her to be there for you and how much it mean to you to have her there a lot sooner than 2 -3 months afterwards xkx

 

[blondieliz]

Could they be planning a surprise visit maybe? I would be pissed too though, you need your family around you x

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Could they be planning a surprise visit maybe? I would be pissed too though, you need your family around you x

Definitely not my parents style, lol, but that's for thinking the best Yeah, I want her here. It's been hard enough with the baby's heart condition not having them here.