A little put out :(

[BeckyBoo]

Hi ladies,

In 2008, me and my sister in law (who used to be a mate before she married my brother) had a baby a day apart.

I decided last year I would be trying for a 3rd baby, I had 3 miscarriages in a row. She announced she was pregnant shortly after my 3rd MC. She lost a baby in 2010 at 23 weeks, so I was really pleased for her. Thankfully I did get a sticky bean.

I spent all of the 22nd of September keeping her company, distracted and making her walk as far as possible (she didn't like being alone after TJ last year).

My sister in law gave birth to her 4th (theoretically 5th) baby on the 23rd of September after having her waters broken to help along baby.

I got the 'generic' text about baby and I sent back my congratulations. And now me and my mum have heard NOTHING. They've posted on FB about their friends all coming around to see baby, but neither of us have been invited.

It's maybe selfish of me, but I've spent majority of her pregnancy keeping her company, walking with her (even though I'm in agony with my arthritis). I didn't expect an instant invite, but I thought me and my mum would be one of the first to meet her considering we're family.

My brother finally got around to talking to my mum last night, over 24 hours after she'd been born and he still didn't give her an invite, so she didn't ask. She knows women are sore after birth, but secretly she's devastated because they've had friends over.

I don't want to impose on her either so I've been sat waiting patiently for my invite, I guess it's all I can do.

I just really wanted a cuddle since I'm seriously broody!

 

[Jennifaerie]

Maybe they don't think you need an invite? I would maybe say "just let us now when we're ok to visit?", maybe the friends turned up unannounced and they want a few days to settle in? As they're family I would probably just ask. Our neighbours/ friends have just had their LO on Thursday, they're not out of hospital yet so we've been picking up their packages/ milk. Spoke to the Dad this morning and said for him to give us a shout when they're settled in and we will pop round to see him. they might just be so wrapped up in their LO they haven't thought?

 

[BeckyBoo]

Maybe they don't think you need an invite? I would maybe say "just let us now when we're ok to visit?", maybe the friends turned up unannounced and they want a few days to settle in? As they're family I would probably just ask. Our neighbours/ friends have just had their LO on Thursday, they're not out of hospital yet so we've been picking up their packages/ milk. Spoke to the Dad this morning and said for him to give us a shout when they're settled in and we will pop round to see him. they might just be so wrapped up in their LO they haven't thought?

Yeah I just didn't want to come across as pushy by asking. I did think that maybe they got decended on without asking by friends. So that's why I've left them to it a little.

I'm just emotional being pregnant myself!

 

[Jennifaerie]

I don't blame you I think I would be the same. I reckon just send your bro a text and say for him to let you know when they're up to having visitors as you're looking forward to meeting your new niece xx it'll be thoughtful rather than pushy as you haven't just shown up xx

 

[BeckyBoo]

I don't blame you I think I would be the same. I reckon just send your bro a text and say for him to let you know when they're up to having visitors as you're looking forward to meeting your new niece xx it'll be thoughtful rather than pushy as you haven't just shown up xx

Well I remember with my last two kids, it would annoy me if people appeared without invite. They do have ALOT of friends. And her side of the family is huge... where as there is only me, mum and my two brothers.

I think I might poke him about getting him to invite mum over tho, she's really upset about it.

 

[tanni78]

I'm guessing they either assume you'll ask or go round at some point or they're just totally preoccupied and it's not even occurred to them. I agree with Jennie, send them a message asking them to let you know when it's ok to pop over as you can't wait to meet the LO. A few of my friends and family have asked already, how long i want to be left alone after the birth or if i'll let them know as soon as i'm up to visitors. I've told them all to come round as soon as i'm home if they want as i love all the fuss and tend to get baby blues for a few days so i like to be distracted. My sis on the other hand told everyone she wanted left alone for a week after she had her LO, me and my mum weren't even allowed to visit. She said she didn't want people seeing her looking tired and post c section. Everyone's different. I would try not to take it as a personal dig and just give them a gentle hinting nudge lol xx

 

[LittleStars]

Last time DH and I didn't invite anyone.. we just called and informed everyone DD was born and assumed everyone would work their way over to the hospital depending on their schedules. This time around we are at a different hospital and they are more strict with how many people can be in the room at any time so we hope there won't be any conflict of sending someone away but we're still going to just leave it as people can come and go as they want since as soon as I'm home I don't want any visitors other than my mom perhaps to help with DD1 for the first week or two. Exception to my rule: if you have a present for the babies or ready made food! lol Bribery and corruption always works

 

[BeckyBoo]

Well I text them and my brother was around in 10mins to pick me up to save me walking lol. Apparently he thought me and mum would just appear.

She's gorgeous, didn't get much of a cuddle cause she was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her, and when she did wake up she was just looking for boob and she wasn't getting mine!

 

[Jennifaerie]

Aw fab! So glad it went well x