About to have IVF/ICSI, So scared it won't work, any first time success stories??

[Janeyclaire]

Hi there

I'm not as far ahead as you are but I know exactly how you are feeling my stomach flips every time I think about it. Stay focused and positive. I keep thinking that if we didn't have issues we could still be waiting hoping and worrying about it not happening. So many people say relax and it will happen and ok for those of us needing help that might not be exactly true but I do believe trying to relax does help. Sending you positive thoughts xxx

 

[vermeil]

Any tips on trying to get the best quality eggs? My husband has being cutting down on the booze and taking vitamins. I've lost 35lbs in the past year so have been eating very healthily, drinking lots of water and excersizing 3 times a week. Also quit smoking last year so have got pretty healthy. Still treat myself at weekends though, including alcohol. But any tips / old wives tales would be gratefully received I mean, how do you make a "good" egg?!

Hello Kzee,

You`re already doing the very best things you can do to improve egg quality! Being at a good weight, eating well and exercising are THE best things you can do. Throw in some COQ10, 600mg a day and you`re good. That`s what my FS, ob/gyn etc all said.

My first son was a micro preemie due to placenta failure. He barely survived. The wonderful ob/gyn I saw after told me if I ever wanted a second child and to avoid this from happening again, the BEST thing I could do was lose weight and get in shape. I was a size 14-15. I took her words to heart. The angels singing down from the heavens and God saying those exact words couldn`t have made a stronger impact I lost 40 pounds in a year, got in shape and ate well.

By the time we had the green light for number 2 I was 39. After a year we tried IVF. I was fit and healthy and taking the COQ10. They gave me the dosage for a 40 year old - I responded so well (exceptional, like a 30 year old they kept saying) I had ohss and had 22 ovules. The average at my age is 8 or so. We transfered two - bfp but chemical at 7 weeks. Not surprised if I look back, I was sooo loopy from all of the hormones.

Our first FET three months later they transfered 2 more - poof bfp again, and this time it stuck - I'll be 30 weeks along tomorrow. This baby already weighs 3 times what my first did at birth!!

Of course I'm not saying that what you`re doing will do miracles - only that they`re the very best you can do. Increases the bloodflow to the ovaries. The COQ10 improves egg quality too but it takes 3 months to have its full effect.

Good luck

 

[Kaylakin]

Hi Kzee,

Just wanted to give you positive feedback that it can work the first time. My first IVF worked. I was classified as unexplained so they did half ICSI and half conventional fertilization just to ensure that there would be fertilization. We never found out along the way what the problem was - but there must be a problem of course. It's strange because we conceived naturally before having to undergo any fertility treatment - I suppose that was a fluke. I'm currently about to start trying for baby #2. I will start down regulation on Thursday I believe..

Do you have an approximate transfer date?

I agree with the previous poster who said to take it one step at a time if you can. Looking back on it, nothing was unmanageable - it was more fear of the unknown. Try not to think the worst - and tackle each issue as it arises. I was so worried that I would have enough eggs, then I worried they wouldn't fertilize, then I worried they wouldn't survive until transfer ... and everything turned out fine. It's easier said than done, though...It's pretty hard to think of anything else!

 

[Kzee]

Hello all!

Again, thank you so much for your replies, it REALLY helps!

Janeyclaire - I agree with you, there's definitely a different feeling during this time, I feel excited at the prospect of the next couple of months and what COULD happen! But it's a double edged sword, along with this feeling is complete terror at how I/we would cope with more failure at this last resort. But, I would say that positivity is overriding the other feelings, perhaps just today, but hey! What is your story? Hope to hear from you soon x

vermeil - Thank you soooooooo much for your encouraging words! Congratulations too! So amazing, you must be over the moon! COQ10 looks pretty scarce over here in the UK. But when I go for my baseline scan, i'll ask about it or an alternative. I actually lost the weight for my wedding in August, but obviously the quitting smoking and diet/exercise for my fertility was always at the forefront of my mind. When the wedding was all over, I've found it hard to get back into it, I think I need a goal and this is certainly the best one! I just hope it's enough! Hope the pregnancy is going well and stay in touch! x

Kaylakin - Hi, thank you for your story, gives me hope! I have my baseline scan in a week (Oct 22) so i'll find out if everything is looking good so far and then start the next set of meds, which I think, should be for approx. 12 days, then it should be ER followed by ET if all goes to plan (pleeeeeeeeeeease!) So I guess, around 8th-12th of November would be ET. Fingers crossed! Do you have a date for your FET? Yes, I can imagine worrying about every little step, as you said! I'm a natural worrier anyway but hopefully I can control it for something as huge and important as this. I have to.

Speak soon guys xx

 

[gingerbelle]

Hi Kzee,

Tonight I came to the realization that I believe I might be semi depressed over my infertility. I have been positive for 2 years about this..and tonight I feel like I'm stopping being optimistic, and becoming realistic. I still can't believe I'm infertile. I was so happy when I found your post, because I'm in the same boat. And I was even more excited when I saw the date you posted. I will be starting stims in November, and I should find out if I'm pregnant or not before Christmas as well. Crossing my fingers and praying for both of us!

I have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility and my husband has a low sperm count. Im 28 and DH is 34. Ive have multiple iui's with no success. I never thought Id be here. Every woman in my family became pregnant multiple times without even trying. And I feel its the girls that want it the most that can't.. ugh. But what scares me most, is if I do become blessed with a pregnancy..that ill loose it. And I don't know if I can mentally and emotionally withstand that.

I sound so negative, Im just so sad. I would love some buddies during this time! If anyone has any positive stories Id really appreciate it as I need them so much now.

All the best to you and to all the girls going through this!!

 

[Kaylakin]

Gingerbelle,
I feel like I could have written your post when I did IVF the first time(2 years ago). I was 30, my husband 33 or so. I had (have) unexplained infertility. I had 4 failed IUIs. No one in my family or any of my friends had any trouble getting pregnant, and no one around me understood. People just didn't get it unless they've been through it. I always felt like it was so easy for everyone else.
I could never imagine myself being pregnant and carrying a baby full term because it had never happened to me. Luckily, IVF worked for us the first time, and everything went well and I had a baby.
Looking back, the hardest part was the not knowing what was going to happen. I didn't know what the future held, and I thought I'd be the only person in the world for whom IVF wouldn't work.
It's hard not to imagine the worst (for example, like you said, getting pregnant then losing the baby, etc), but try not to let your mind go there because if that is to happen, it will happen, and there's nothing you can do about it. Most likely, it won't happen - and you'll have been worrying for no reason. I do understand feeling down and depressed. I didn't realize how depressed I was until I finally got out of my funk (when I was pregnant). We all just do the best we can to get through each day. Now I'm preparing for a second baby with a FET, and I'm also imagining the worst case scenarios. What if I don't get pregnant? What if I do and then I lose the baby? I have to tell myself to not imagine that, and to deal with that if it ever does happen - but thinking about that may be pointless when all is said and done.
It's easier said than done, but try to take it one step at a time. Do what you can to protect yourself at this time, even if it means avoiding certain things like baby showers, etc - it's survival mode right now!
I hope this helped somewhat - just know that for all the people who get pregnant no problem, there are so many others just like you who struggle and need medical intervention. Also, what I've realized now that I've been on both sides (infertility but also being pregnant and having a child) is that everyone suffers with something - I have a friend who easily gets pregnant, but the other day her water broke at 30 weeks and she's in the hospital on bedrest. There are always things to be grateful for, everyone has their cross to bear - it has put things in perspective a bit.
Having said all that, don't feel bad about not feeling optimistic all of the time. You can't be cheery and happy all of the time, when probably all you can think of is getting pregnant. It used to be the only thing I could think of - day in and day out. It's a bit easier now only because I have a son. I still find myself wanting so badly to be pregnant, and resentful at times that I have to go through all of this just for the chance to be pregnant - no guarantees. I still feel a stab in the chest when people announce a surprise pregnancy or any pregnancy at all for that matter! I'll always feel different from a lot of people in that respect. On the other hand, I can tell you that I will never forget how much I wanted my first baby, and it makes me so appreciative every day for him. It reminds me never to take him for granted.
Ok, I've rambled enough - but know that you're not alone, and you can vent here any time -
Feel better!

Hi Kzee,

Tonight I came to the realization that I believe I might be semi depressed over my infertility. I have been positive for 2 years about this..and tonight I feel like I'm stopping being optimistic, and becoming realistic. I still can't believe I'm infertile. I was so happy when I found your post, because I'm in the same boat. And I was even more excited when I saw the date you posted. I will be starting stims in November, and I should find out if I'm pregnant or not before Christmas as well. Crossing my fingers and praying for both of us!

I have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility and my husband has a low sperm count. Im 28 and DH is 34. Ive have multiple iui's with no success. I never thought Id be here. Every woman in my family became pregnant multiple times without even trying. And I feel its the girls that want it the most that can't.. ugh. But what scares me most, is if I do become blessed with a pregnancy..that ill loose it. And I don't know if I can mentally and emotionally withstand that.

I sound so negative, Im just so sad. I would love some buddies during this time! If anyone has any positive stories Id really appreciate it as I need them so much now.

All the best to you and to all the girls going through this!!

 

[Kaylakin]

Kzee - how are your meds going?
I'm doing Lupron injections for now, and I have a scan/bloodwork on Thursday which I suppose is for a suppression check. After that I add in more meds, and I will have a timeline and a tentative transfer date, which will be great! You're getting close now...hope all is well!

Hello all!

Again, thank you so much for your replies, it REALLY helps!

Janeyclaire - I agree with you, there's definitely a different feeling during this time, I feel excited at the prospect of the next couple of months and what COULD happen! But it's a double edged sword, along with this feeling is complete terror at how I/we would cope with more failure at this last resort. But, I would say that positivity is overriding the other feelings, perhaps just today, but hey! What is your story? Hope to hear from you soon x

vermeil - Thank you soooooooo much for your encouraging words! Congratulations too! So amazing, you must be over the moon! COQ10 looks pretty scarce over here in the UK. But when I go for my baseline scan, i'll ask about it or an alternative. I actually lost the weight for my wedding in August, but obviously the quitting smoking and diet/exercise for my fertility was always at the forefront of my mind. When the wedding was all over, I've found it hard to get back into it, I think I need a goal and this is certainly the best one! I just hope it's enough! Hope the pregnancy is going well and stay in touch! x

Kaylakin - Hi, thank you for your story, gives me hope! I have my baseline scan in a week (Oct 22) so i'll find out if everything is looking good so far and then start the next set of meds, which I think, should be for approx. 12 days, then it should be ER followed by ET if all goes to plan (pleeeeeeeeeeease!) So I guess, around 8th-12th of November would be ET. Fingers crossed! Do you have a date for your FET? Yes, I can imagine worrying about every little step, as you said! I'm a natural worrier anyway but hopefully I can control it for something as huge and important as this. I have to.

Speak soon guys xx

 

[Kzee]

Hi Kzee,

Tonight I came to the realization that I believe I might be semi depressed over my infertility. I have been positive for 2 years about this..and tonight I feel like I'm stopping being optimistic, and becoming realistic. I still can't believe I'm infertile. I was so happy when I found your post, because I'm in the same boat. And I was even more excited when I saw the date you posted. I will be starting stims in November, and I should find out if I'm pregnant or not before Christmas as well. Crossing my fingers and praying for both of us!

I have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility and my husband has a low sperm count. Im 28 and DH is 34. Ive have multiple iui's with no success. I never thought Id be here. Every woman in my family became pregnant multiple times without even trying. And I feel its the girls that want it the most that can't.. ugh. But what scares me most, is if I do become blessed with a pregnancy..that ill loose it. And I don't know if I can mentally and emotionally withstand that.

I sound so negative, Im just so sad. I would love some buddies during this time! If anyone has any positive stories Id really appreciate it as I need them so much now.

All the best to you and to all the girls going through this!!

Hi Gingerbelle,

Thanks so much for getting in touch. I completely understand how you're feeling, so know you're not alone. But I know, it does feel lonely no matter what. But I can relate so much. I have awful days and then some ok ones. I'm just so scared at how I will handle the situation if it's bad.

It's just so hard to see others pregnant, at the minute, it feels like everyone I know is making an announcement. It makes my heart jump when I see something on facebook. I always feel happy for people, but so dumbfounded at how it could be so easy and quick. I have my friends baby shower this weekend too, but I've got pretty good at putting on a brave face nowadays!

Have you started your treatment yet? I would love to stay in touch and go through this with you girls, so keep me updated and all you can do is take one step at a time and hope for the best. I'm praying for us all. Take it easy xx

 

[Kzee]

Kzee - how are your meds going?
I'm doing Lupron injections for now, and I have a scan/bloodwork on Thursday which I suppose is for a suppression check. After that I add in more meds, and I will have a timeline and a tentative transfer date, which will be great! You're getting close now...hope all is well!

Hi Kaylakin!

Thanks for asking. Well, I had my first baseline scan last week and that went well, my lining was thin, or whatever it's supposed to be! So they started me on my stimming meds (Gonal F) in the evenings and still taking Buserelin in the mornings. Had a scan on Monday to check how i'm responding to the stims and I responded well, but maybe too well and they lowered my medication. Had my second scan today and I have 19 follicles which apparently is a good start and they will see me again on Friday and if everything is how it should be then, I should get a date for egg retrieval. Exciting but very scary too!!

How are you finding the deregulation meds? I was mostly fine, but had mood swings and headaches.

Really hope you're well! Speak soon xx

 

[Briss]

gingerbelle, I've been TTC with low sperm count for 3.5 years now and I've tried everything to improve my DH's SA but unfortunately nothing really made any substantial improvement. we just had our first natural; cycle IVF which ended in chemical but at least for the first time I saw some kind of attempt at implantation. in 3.5 TTC naturally we have not seen even a hint at BFP. I do believe that low sperm count (unless it's just temporary and is caused by poor lifestyle which is easily treated with supplements) is very hard to beat and in our case I am convinced that ICSI is the way to go. we only had one egg as it was natural IVF and it successfully fertilised via ICSI, it was transferred on day two and it continued dividing inside my uterus and even tried to implant. I think with low sperm count his swimmers probably never even got to my tubes or were so tired that were unable to penetrate the egg so I doubt we even ever had an embryo. with ICSI I hope we stand a chance. it's all down to embryologist picking a really good one next time.

 

[Kzee]

Hi Briss

I saw you on another post recently. Hope you're doing ok. It's good that you're seeing the chemical as some sort of positive.

When I was first told we'd need ICSI, I was gutted as I thought that it must be SO severe, but now I've realised that I'd be more worried if we were doing just normal IVF, with poor sperm.

What are your next steps and when do you start?

Fingers crossed for us all xx

 

[Briss]

Kzee, I resisted ICSI for as long as I could but I just see now that with our sperm issue and my age it's just the only way (particularly if we want to have more than one child). I am hoping to start our next cycle asap but I am still waiting for our review app next week and also want to see a gynaecologist to ask about Cervical cyst which was seen on my scan post IVF and my spotting this cycle (I spotted until CD10!) just want to rule out endometritis which could prevent implantation.

It was very hard emotionally, seeing a BPF for the first time (I was so happy I cried) and then almost BFN the next day and very low beta which dropped in 2 days to negative… very cruel to be given a bfp only to be taken away from you the next day. very hard I must admit but at create they said chemical is a positive sign that my body is doing what it is supposed to, probably there was some chromosomal issue with the sperm or the egg. it happens a lot particularly in our age group so we just need to wait for a good quality egg/sperm next time.

Fingers crossed for us all!!!

 

[Kaylakin]

Kzee - wow..things are going well for you..can't believe you'll have an ER date soon. Do you feel it is going quickly now? I've felt OK on the down reg meds - occasional bad headaches and one day of dizziness. Now things are settling down...

Kzee - how are your meds going?
I'm doing Lupron injections for now, and I have a scan/bloodwork on Thursday which I suppose is for a suppression check. After that I add in more meds, and I will have a timeline and a tentative transfer date, which will be great! You're getting close now...hope all is well!

Hi Kaylakin!

Thanks for asking. Well, I had my first baseline scan last week and that went well, my lining was thin, or whatever it's supposed to be! So they started me on my stimming meds (Gonal F) in the evenings and still taking Buserelin in the mornings. Had a scan on Monday to check how i'm responding to the stims and I responded well, but maybe too well and they lowered my medication. Had my second scan today and I have 19 follicles which apparently is a good start and they will see me again on Friday and if everything is how it should be then, I should get a date for egg retrieval. Exciting but very scary too!!

How are you finding the deregulation meds? I was mostly fine, but had mood swings and headaches.

Really hope you're well! Speak soon xx

 

[cass86]

Hi I just thought I would give you some reassurance. I am currently 7 months pregnant with twins after our 1st cycle of ICSI. I really found that staying positive and focused really helped me. I also used to listen to relaxation tapes in the evening and visualise your baby. We had been trying for 5 years and had 1 mc and now we are finally here. Stay positive and it will happen.

Fingers crossed for everyone

 

[Kzee]

Hi I just thought I would give you some reassurance. I am currently 7 months pregnant with twins after our 1st cycle of ICSI. I really found that staying positive and focused really helped me. I also used to listen to relaxation tapes in the evening and visualise your baby. We had been trying for 5 years and had 1 mc and now we are finally here. Stay positive and it will happen.

Fingers crossed for everyone

Cass! Thank you so much for success story! Congratulations!

 

[gingerbelle]

Kzee, Kaylakin, and Briss..Thank you so much for your posts!! I feel asleep last night feeling so down, and your posts truly brightened my morning

Your story Kaylakin is inspirational and I thank you for sharing it!! Briss, Im so sorry for your chemical. And I pray for your second time at ivf. What is natural ivf? I never heard of it?

Kzee- I start my Lupron shots on Nov 13th. Im excited and nervous at the same time lol. I hate shots! And i will be taking so many for a few weeks. I really hope all goes well for you!!

How is your experience so far? And if anyone else could share their ivf experience id greatly appreciate it. With injectables I retained A LOT of water and I was beyond emotional. Im nervous with ivf that it would would be more emotional. Im nervous it will interfere with my work and Im wondering if I should take some vacation days. Does anyone recommend that? and if so which point in the cycle?

Thank you again for your posts!!

 

[Briss]

gingerbelle, natural IVF is like ordinary IVf minus the meds. in completely natural cycle you only get one egg from the dominant follicle; in natural/modified you get very mild stimulation and may get up to 7 eggs but usually 2-3.

There is some more info on who is doing natural IVf on B&B:

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/a...ural-ivf-cycle-october-update-first-page.html

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/trying-conceive-over-35/1856095-natural-cycle-ivf.html

 

[gingerbelle]

Wow. I've never even been offered natural Ivf. I wish I would've since they say that my eggs are good. Are you going to be trying it again? Or are you going to try the typical Ivf with meds?

 

[AuCa]

Briss - I'm sorry for your chemical I remember you from the CBFM thread (a looooong time ago), and I've been wondering how things were going for you.

As for me - I'm unfortunately one of the "first time IVF (&ICSI) and fail" stories. I think it's great to be optimistic, but even better to throw in some realistic expectations. I think IVF works very often on the first cycle (maybe 50/50), but there is a lot of things that can go wrong too.
On the other side, there is really not much you can do to prepare yourself for a negative outcome. I for example thought I was mentally prepared, but in the end I really wasn't.

I guess one more thing I want to say - my personal opinion is that all of this is just fate. I personally really don't think anything we do can really influence the outcome, so I wouldn't stress too much about trying not to be stressed, or following exact rules for how much to move around after transfer etc.

Gingerbelle - I took a few days off and I would definitely recommend that - both around retrieval and transfer. Once we try again I might even take the entire 2 weeks off.
I was emotional, but not because of the meds but because of the entire process (things didn't go as expected for us, we dealt with a potential cancelation etc).

 

[Briss]

gingerbelle, we opted for natural IVf because we have sperm count issues and I have high FSH so the NHS refused funding for the conventional IVF. I want to try a completely natural IVf again because it's less disruptive for my cycle and health but will rely on what my clinic will advise at our review app.

AuCa, hi I am very sorry to hear about your IVF. when are you going to try again? how is your cycle going back to normal after the IVF? I have a few things going wrong and need to check before I can repeat it. I agree it's to a certain degree down to luck, in our age group not all eggs are of good quality so we just have to wait for a good one, same stand for sperm even with ICSI you cannot guarantee that a good looking sperm has good chromosomes. I took a few days off for EC/ET and will do that again to give the embryo some piece and quiet and perfect environment for implantation