Accidental pregnancy

[OJTheCat]

Hello,

This is my first post, but I didn't really know where to turn.

Me and my partner have been together for 3 years, we live together and are independent from our families (meaning that we don't rely financially on anyone but ourselves). We are not married and were not planning on having any children for a few years. We were using condoms (yes every time, no exceptions) as hormonal birth control doesn't agree with my system (I have tried 9 different types of pill, the injection and the implant) however we have become pregnant. We weren't thrilled about it but as we were already planning to have children in a few years and are in a stable financial situation, we are planning to keep it. I am 21 and my partner is 22 so we are not teenagers, but are still quite young to have a family.

So here comes my question, How do we tell our families without them bollocking us basically!? We want them to be excited as we are, but understand that it probably won't happen like that.

Does anyone have any advice?

 

[jessmke]

My advice would be to tell them very enthusiastically. If you tell them and seem to be ashamed or nervous or apologetic that will just invite them to lecture you, it will be a lot harder for them to be negative if you are positive and excited about the situation. Good luck!

 

[Wish85]

Just be upfront and honest with them. Tell them that you took precautions however it happened anyway and whilst it is earlier than you would have liked you both will come around to the idea and you'd like them to be supportive and encouraging.

I don't mean this in a mean way, but you're 21 & 22 not 12, and as you said, not dependent on anyone financially so it's not actually anyone's business but yours and your OH. Congratulations!

 

[Tropiclands]

I want to start off by saying that I'd like to see you embracing this with a more positive attitude. God does not give you more than you can handle, and you obviously are thinking with wisdom by knowing your limitations.

As for your parents, it will be hard to get them excited if you are not. That seems like a good place to start.

 

[OJTheCat]

Tropic lands I appreciate your reply however feel you are being slightly cruel by assuming that we do do not appreciate our happy accident. Sure we weren't thrilled as first but we are very excited now, and we weren't thrilled purely worrying about the reaction from our families. I also don't appreciate you bringing religion into this conversation, neither of us believe in any sort of God or higher power and are actually quite offended by your statement. We understand that was probably not your intention, but we love our child and are now very excited to be parents and for us 'God' has got nothing to do with it. We even say in our original message that we are excited!

For everyone else we told my family today and to our great surprise they were over the moon with the news! When we go back home Sunday we will tell his family and hopefully will get a similar reaction! Thank you for the advice, it helped give us confidence that we weren't making a mistake!

 

[Wish85]

Tropic lands I appreciate your reply however feel you are being slightly cruel by assuming that we do do not appreciate our happy accident. Sure we weren't thrilled as first but we are very excited now, and we weren't thrilled purely worrying about the reaction from our families. I also don't appreciate you bringing religion into this conversation, neither of us believe in any sort of God or higher power and are actually quite offended by your statement. We understand that was probably not your intention, but we love our child and are now very excited to be parents and for us 'God' has got nothing to do with it. We even say in our original message that we are excited!

For everyone else we told my family today and to our great surprise they were over the moon with the news! When we go back home Sunday we will tell his family and hopefully will get a similar reaction! Thank you for the advice, it helped give us confidence that we weren't making a mistake!

I'm glad your family were happy when you told them the news! All the best for a healthy, happy pregnancy!

 

[luz]

I'm glad your family was happy about it. People have asked me why i'm having so many kids or why they're so close.... I just always say its none of your business and it's my life anyway. So either be happy for me or keep your mouth shut. I know its nice to have support of family and friends, but even when my in-laws were less than excited for another baby, eventually they came around and everything was ok.

Good luck to you.

 

[Tropiclands]

Well I'm sorry for offending and missed the part where you said that you were excited. Hope all goes well for you.

 

[ClairAye]

I'm glad your family are excited! Congratulations, I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy!