ADMIN-please lock this thread as it is no longer supportive or on topic.

[sojourn]

I have gotten my son to sleep by himself at night, but daytime naps he still seems to need to be laying on me to sleep. It is sooooo exhausting and tiring to be stuck every day.

Today though...he has taken THREE naps (two 15-20 minute catnaps and one long hour long one) all on his own!

So far I have:
Put clothes on
finished cloth diaper laundry
reorganized the changing table
started tonight's corned beef and cabbage dinner
tidied the house
put makeup on
got to eat food that was hot! (I usually eat everything lukewarm in case I drop it on him )
sat on the front porch and enjoyed a cider and a chapter of a book

Life is good!

 

[Noo]

He is 3 weeks old. My boy still naps on me now

 

[sojourn]

He is 3 weeks old. My boy still naps on me now

I'm glad that works out for you guys. It doesn't work for us. I have pretty basic alone time/personal space needs. I hate watching my house fall apart, being constantly hungry, not being able to go to the bathroom, feeling hideous and unattractive and the general feeling of being pinned to the couch acting as either a mattress or a feeding trough.

I'd rather spend time holding, cuddling, feeding and playing with my child when he's awake.

 

[missusgee]

My LO slept great at that age, either on me or anywhere. Now though he's much more fussy and I battle almost every nap. I would love to have 'me time' but that's long gone. Part and parcel of being a parent!

 

[Miss_Cellany]

My LO napped fine up to 3-4 weeks but then it all changed. He's just gone back to napping in his cot again rather than on me but he only naps for 30 minutes at a time. He's 4.5 months old. Hoping for some longer naps in the future but who knows. It's nice to be able to get stuff done.

 

[superfrizbee]

He is 3 weeks old. My boy still naps on me now

I'm glad that works out for you guys. It doesn't work for us. I have pretty basic alone time/personal space needs. I hate watching my house fall apart, being constantly hungry, not being able to go to the bathroom, feeling hideous and unattractive and the general feeling of being pinned to the couch acting as either a mattress or a feeding trough.

I'd rather spend time holding, cuddling, feeding and playing with my child when he's awake.

I think that goes for everyone actually! But in reality our needs come.second once we become parents. that said I know just what you mean. My dd was a shocking napper and when it just clicked around 9-10 months it was bliss!

 

[sojourn]

He is 3 weeks old. My boy still naps on me now

I'm glad that works out for you guys. It doesn't work for us. I have pretty basic alone time/personal space needs. I hate watching my house fall apart, being constantly hungry, not being able to go to the bathroom, feeling hideous and unattractive and the general feeling of being pinned to the couch acting as either a mattress or a feeding trough.

I'd rather spend time holding, cuddling, feeding and playing with my child when he's awake.

I think that goes for everyone actually! But in reality our needs come.second once we become parents. that said I know just what you mean. My dd was a shocking napper and when it just clicked around 9-10 months it was bliss!

I disagree. I think that making sure my needs are met makes me a better parent. When I get to brush my teeth and put on a clean shirt during the day, I know that I am a more patient and caring parent. If I make sure that I am fed and hydrated, then I am going to get less frustrated about breastfeeding. I choose to make sure that I prioritize my needs so that I can continue to meet the needs of my child in a healthy and stable way.

 

[superfrizbee]

He is 3 weeks old. My boy still naps on me now

I'm glad that works out for you guys. It doesn't work for us. I have pretty basic alone time/personal space needs. I hate watching my house fall apart, being constantly hungry, not being able to go to the bathroom, feeling hideous and unattractive and the general feeling of being pinned to the couch acting as either a mattress or a feeding trough.

I'd rather spend time holding, cuddling, feeding and playing with my child when he's awake.

I think that goes for everyone actually! But in reality our needs come.second once we become parents. that said I know just what you mean. My dd was a shocking napper and when it just clicked around 9-10 months it was bliss!

I disagree. I think that making sure my needs are met makes me a better parent. When I get to brush my teeth and put on a clean shirt during the day, I know that I am a more patient and caring parent. If I make sure that I am fed and hydrated, then I am going to get less frustrated about breastfeeding. I choose to make sure that I prioritize my needs so that I can continue to meet the needs of my child in a healthy and stable way.

Oh i agree with you totally there! I didnt mean your needs dont matter or shouldnt get met, just that I find I have to to compromise sometimes on my needs, if you know what I mean? I can relax more but then the house is messier, or relax less and it's cleaner for example. anyway it was a complete digression off on a random trail of thought. glad you had a nice day - it's def important as a mummy

 

[Noo]

.

 

[jodiex]

To be honest I miss the days when Emily slept on me. . Your baby is only 3 weeks old he needs to be close to his mummy.

 

[Miss_Cellany]

I think what people are trying to say is its great that he naps in his bed at the moment but don't be surprised if it changes back to napping on you.

 

[shelx]

How did this turn into a debate what works for some, doesnt work for others and some people do things differently, simple if LO is napping on me when i have 101 things to do i wont be able to think of anything else but if i have all housework etc done i LOVE having LO nap on me

 

[Mrs Mc]

My babies have always slept in their moses baskets, cots, etc. Having twins meant I didnt have the luxury to let them sleep on me. What if the other baby needed me but I couldnt move as their sister was sleeping in me?

I completely agree with OP and congrats on getting your baby to sleep and getting some you time. It IS important to have mummy time and I honestly agree with hapoy mummy = happy baby.

I always disagree with house work can wait....no it cant!!! Im sorry but your family needs to be clean and fed (very important if you are breastfeeding). Babies need to be in clean environments, hence some cleaning needs to be done. Babies need loads of outfit changes, therefore clothes need to be washed and dried.

Having twins forced me to get into a routine from day one and I now have two happy, well adjusted and well bonded (even though they didnt sleep on me!!!) 18 month olds who are fab sleepers!!!

So glad you got some time to yourself, bet your feeling relaxed and happy xxxx

 

[Bun87]

Well done you, I'm pretty sure I was still in my pyjamas and hadn't moved from the sofa when my lo was 3 weeks old. Then again, I wouldn't have changed it for the world

 

[carbafe]

He is 3 weeks old. My boy still naps on me now

I'm glad that works out for you guys. It doesn't work for us. I have pretty basic alone time/personal space needs. I hate watching my house fall apart, being constantly hungry, not being able to go to the bathroom, feeling hideous and unattractive and the general feeling of being pinned to the couch acting as either a mattress or a feeding trough.

I'd rather spend time holding, cuddling, feeding and playing with my child when he's awake.

Wouldn't we all but you're a Mummy now so your needs come second as slot in as and when time allows. Sorry that's an inconvenience for you. I'm afraid as a Mum you ARE a feeding trough and mattress. Those are the basic needs of your child and those needs come before your own. Going to the bathroom yes is a basic need. Making yourself look attractive is a luxury. At 3 weeks old your baby needs to be with his Mummy. Basic nature. I think many new and first time Mums have very unrealistic expectations of their tiny babies. Life has changed forever and these babies need their Mummies 24/7 in the first few months. Take a look at the 4th trimester. Needing to be held constantly in the first few months is normal. You don't see other mammals leaving their babies to sleep alone to go catch a shower or do their hair. We aren't that different. The time comes when you can have time back again and actually, at 3 weeks my son was napping better than he is now. I thought it was great... wrong!

I think you are being a bit unfair. As a mum of two it is really not ideal at all for DS2 to nap on me and I agree with Mrs Mc you do need to do some house work i.e. Get the washing on and the dishes done. I struggle to get the bathrooms cleaned and beds changed at the moment but its something that I feel needs to get done. After that the house is a bit chaos at the moment. All this with DS2 napping (albiet not for very long stretches) in his pram. Some times I do let him nap in my arms but to be honest I don't find it makes him nap any longer.

I am delighted when I get DS2 to nap well in the morning and I can actually get my hair washed. It isn't good for your metal state it you don't get a little bit of time for your self in the day and I think having a shower and feeling fresh and happy isn't to much to hope for. Simple things like that can completely lift your mood and keep you sane !

I also agree babies need to be near there mums but the original poster is not saying she is abandoning her baby just happy they they nap in their basket. I love carrying LO in the ergo even more when he is awake as I can talk with him and engage with him.

One word of warning for the original poster I have learnt with my two that nothing stays the same for long with LO's so enjoy for the moment and keep your fingers crossed he keeps it up !!

O yes and every once in a while just have a cuddle xx

 

[Katteh]

I think if the baby is happy to nap in their cot or Moses basket etc then it really isn't an issue. I think as a mother you do put your child's needs first yes, but if baby is happy to nap away from it's mummy then I don't see why you wouldn't make the most of it.

If, as a parent, you want your baby to nap on you all the time, or if your baby only wants to nap on you, then fair enough, but if both of you are happy with your baby sleeping in a cot (or equivalent) then definitely don't feel guilty!

Love that you got to sit down with a cider and a book, jealous!

 

[sept2010]

What if u hav four other kids to look after as lovely as it is to let babies nap on you...its not always realistic...
With my 3yr old she practically napped on someone for her first 3 months...but my recent baby sleeps well in her hammock... If she didnt then maybe i would get a wrap/carrier so i could deal with the toddler and have baby napping on me.
Glad you got some me time op... Its nice when it happens, it can as others hav said change over the comin weeks but doesnt mean you cant enjoy that time you do get.

 

[sojourn]

Wow.
Glad to see that mommy martyrdom is alive and well.

When my son is happy to sleep in his bassinet. When he needs to sleep on me to be happy, he does that. With a newborn, I treat him every single day like he his a completely different person. I know that some days he screams like I'm torturing him to have a diaper change, others he gazes toward the lamp. Some nights I'm the only one who can settle him down, other nights he only wants to be sung to sleep by dad. If he's having a day where he his happy to sleep on his own, why on earth would I subject him (and me) to a day of being touched and cuddled when that's not really what he wants.

Babies need a clean environment, diapers and clothes, right? So OBVIOUSLY, letting my child sleep on his own (happily) while I clean and do laundry provides him (and me, and his dad) with a clean environment, diapers and clothes.

Babies need moms that aren't overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and resentful, right? So OBVIOUSLY my child sleeping on his own (happily) while I relax and take 15 minutes for myself provides him with a mom who can relax and enjoy a few minutes alone so she isn't overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and resentful.

Babies need loving families where, if there are two parents available, those parents have a happy, healthy relationship. So OBVIOUSLY, letting my child sleep on his own (happily) provides him with a mom who can put on makeup and real clothes so she feels like she is beautiful and smart and still attractive to her husband.

Babies need to learn enjoying their own company and being independent knowing that their parents are close at hand if needed. So OBVIOUSLY, letting my child sleep on his own (happily) provides him with the time and space to get a good start on learning that he can be alone while knowing that I am nearby for a hug or cuddle if he needs.

So, even if I don't make my kid nap on me every second of the day, I am still, OBVIOUSLY, meeting his needs. Isn't this a support forum? Why on earth am I being attacked for letting my content, sleeping son, sleep?

 

[Noo]

.

 

[aliss]

I think this might be lost in translation at some point. I agree with those who know the early months of motherhood mean you might not get your basic needs done. But op is 3 weeks with her first, let's not forget how much shock it is that first time, it must be quite a relief to get a break.