Adoption journey

[Loski83]

Hi all we started our adoption process in April last year all is going well so far. We have done medicals all ok, police checks all ok, and on to part 3 of form f. We have SMS out 4 days this week so it's all go. Just wanting to share thoughts with other adopters x

 

[mrsparoline]

Hi all we started our adoption process in April last year all is going well so far. We have done medicals all ok, police checks all ok, and on to part 3 of form f. We have SMS out 4 days this week so it's all go. Just wanting to share thoughts with other adopters x

That's so exciting!! Good luck with the rest!

 

[Lolly1985]

Congratulations on your progress Loski It sounds so exciting. We are just stating out on our adoption journey. We have had our telephone interview and have been invited to an initial face to face interview with a social worker from the adoption team next week If all goes well we will start our 3 day prep course in April or May. Keep us posted

Lolly xxxxx

 

[Loski83]

Hope all goes well for you prep groups are good you get a lot more info. It's a bit daunting some of it on ours we got all the heavy stuff first then we met adopters and heard their stories it was really nice. We have finished our form f now and ss is has contacted references and some of them have already wrote reference and sent them back today. Still hoping to get to panel in may but got told on Monday it could be June now.

 

[Lolly1985]

I am prepared for the 'hard sell' as I got them when I initially enquired. I guess its to prepare you for every circumstance and make sure you are serious and going in to it with your eyes wide open. It was a bit scary for a few minutes and then I got real and had a little word with myself and it was all good again. In my job I work with so many children who have been adopted, and the happiness in their parents eyes makes me even more determined to make this work

Booo, for the delays. I guess we should be used to things taking longer than expected, but still knocks you down. May would be lovely, everything crossed for you!! How many references did you need? It seems to vary between authorities. We have been told we will need 5, one family member and the rest friends or colleagues. I thought they would need to meet all the family or at least have something in writing from all immediate family members. Guess not

You must be getting excited, does it feel real yet? You are going to be a mummy

xxxxx

 

[Loski83]

It's funny cause I work with children as well and come across adopted ones at times. They said we needed 3 refs first then they asked for 7. 4 are getting a form with quests on and the rest a interview. I am just thinking June in my head but to be honest as long as everything is going to an I don't mind. Excited now and can't wait to be called mammy x

 

[Lolly1985]

7, wow, thats a lot!! I think of our 4 friends only 2 get interviews and 2 get written pieces to complete.

Have you found it hard working with children but not being able to have them? I have struggled to be honest as I went into the role from college as I had a love for the early years, always thought I would be a young mum etc etc. Then went on and studied for my early years degree (finish in May), continued to work and so on. It has been hard to live, work, study children, yet suffer failed treatments and not being able to have my own. Sometimes uni is hard as they talk bonding and attachment, brain development in womb and first few months. Sometimes it tears me up

 

[Loski83]

Some days it's really hard but I have set up nursery and when Im feeling a bit low I just go in and it helps. I'm at the stage now where I know I will never carry my own child and really that is all we will miss out on we will still be mammy. I have just bought a wall transfer for the nursery it says "we made a wish, and you came true". It is so true to our situation just can't wait to be able to put it on wall. Have you gone with local authority or voluntary agency?

 

[Lolly1985]

That's lovely, made me go all watery eyed I agree, I feel the same, we will still be mummy in every sense of the word. I don't think I truely ever pictured myself physically pregnant to be honest. Even during all the treatments I couldn't begin to think it would work. I have heard a girl say that conception was her initial interview, the prep course, HS and panel was the pregnancy, and matching was the birth

 

[CurlySue]

All in all, we needed five references. We were asked for three, it turned out to be five in the end. They change the goalposts at every turn, it seems. We've got our panel on Monday. I actually feel sick.

Good luck with everything xxx

 

[Loski83]

Wow good luck for panel hope it all goes well for you. I bet your so nervous I'm already nervous and I have ages to wait please let me know how you get on Monday xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Good luck Curly!!!!

 

[Loski83]

Hi lolly what dates your interview? We had sw out last night again all went well every visit seems like a step closer.

 

[Lolly1985]

Thats great must be getting excited now how many visits do you have for home study? We were told 8 but i guess that is flexible. Our initial interview is on tuesday, cant wait to get going

 

[Loski83]

We where told about 12 think we have had about 10 so far, husband has 2 sons so a different social worker comes out to see them twice a week as well as they live with us. I think the visits depend on how long they come out for each session ours are an hour and a half approx each visit but another couple from our prep course gets 3 hour sessions but not as often so all depends. Good luck for Tuesday and even though they don't say it that's where your report starts. We have another session in the morning and we don't know any more till after tomorrow. Let me know how Tuesday goes and try to relax x

 

[Loski83]

Well sw was out this morning and we just had a general chat and answered a few questions. We are finished form f and he doesn't need to see us no more now till he Has spoken to all the references and typed up report. Will be back out for 2-3 visits to fill in any blanks then he will finish report ready for panel

 

[Lolly1985]

Great news You are so nearly there now So glad it went well, lets hope he gets typing asap!! xxx

 

[Loski83]

Good luck for tomorrow lolly1985, first day of a new journey x

 

[Lolly1985]

Hello!

Just a quick update on today. I think it went well, but after a 101 questions my brain is a bit frazzled! She was a bit concerned though about the last failed cycle being quite recent (6 months) She said that we were young and she was a bit concerned about whether we had grieved not having a birth child. We assured her that we had talked about this long and hard and knew it was a path that we would follow. It's so hard as she can only take our word for it and can't see in our heads and hearts. I think her fear is we will trn around and say we changed our mind and want more treatment. I was very ill for one of my cycles and can't physically put myself through it again, and we don't have the money so I hope she was assured that it is just not an option.

She has to talk with her manager and will get back to us regarding next steps. I really hope they don't make us wait as I think that would be very detrimental and rather than helping us would be emotionally a hard blow to take.

But she said everything else was good, and if they do make us wait its not a no, its a yes but in a couple of months. Does that make sense?

Will let you know!! Hope you are well, take care, love Lolly xxxx

 

[Loski83]

That's sound like it went good for you's, I had a few thing with my social worker like that at first and he kept bringing up in initial interview about me never being pregnant and not experiencing those feeling was I ok and was adoption definitely our last option. I think as long as you reassured her it should be ok fingers crossed for you. We just been doing some homework that our sw emailed us today and the agency has been in contact with husbands employers today as well, now we have nothing booked in and won't be seeing sw for about 3 weeks so won't know what to do with ourselves. Keep me informed and it's really nice to have someone to talk to wish I came on here earlier lol