Adoption journey

[Lolly1985]

Yeah it is good having someone to talk to!! It sounds like they have to double and triple check. She did say about going on to the pill to show 100% commitment. Feels totally crazy seen as medically there is no way I can get pregnant unless my body does a full 360 turn, and my uterus magically changes shape to accommodat a baby But whatever it takes.

It will be so strange for you having to wait now. Hope time goes quick but from experience I know waiting usually makes things drag a bit. Hope you can keep yourselves busy getting everything as ready as you can for LO's arrival in hopefully the not too distant future. Do you mind me asking what ages, how many children you have said you will accommodate. We said 1 or 2 and preferably under 2 but also acknowledged that may be unrealistic and are open to discuss. She actually asked if we had a gender choice which surprised me. DP said a boy straight away but I felt a bit wierd about having a preference as it felt like 'designer baby/child shopping' I just want to be a mum

xxxxxx

 

[Loski83]

Because my husbands sons live with us full time and have for 8 years now we only have 1 room and I feel like I already have 2 sons myself as I have brought them up. So we have asked for 1 little girl under 2. Our social worker doesn't think this will be a problem. He has told us there's more and more children going into the care system and less people adopting so he's not expecting the process to take too long, but time will tell. Think we have gone pretty quick so far compared to other peoples stories. I think going on the pill is a good way to reassure them or you could get your doctor to write something saying that there's no chance you could fall pregnant naturally. We going to paint up stairs and landing to keep us busy.

 

[Loski83]

Well we might not be getting visits, but we are getting emails with homework in so still feel like we involved and moving in tiny steps towards the end. We have done the homework straight away and emailed it back. Wonder if we get anymore.

 

[Lolly1985]

Hiya

Sorry been MIA!! Been away and only got back last night! Still no news on the adoption front, but only been a week I suppose! But in other news we got enged while we were away. DP (now DF ) sorted a romantic night away to Dublin, drinks, meal and sparkly diamond ring

Little girl sounds perfect for your family. Makes sense given your circumstances now and I can see in this instance why you would give a preference. Hope they are not working you too hard!! Nice to be kept busy, makes time go that little bit quicker amongst all the waiting!

Hope you all well, Love Lolly xxxx

 

[Loski83]

Congratulations I bet your so happy and your df sounds so romantic
Been on phone to sw today just to sort a few things out stepson is nearly 16 so he has to have a police check done and a few other things that needed clearing up and crb forms to fill in when they come. Sw keeps in contact which is good but he still hasn't contacted references as he's too busy he said today that he will do it end of this week or next week hope you hear something soon but don't worry as you said its only been a week

 

[Loski83]

So today has been a productive day stressful at times though. Crb forms arrived for stepson so they are filled in. Had a bit of a panic about his id having to get 5 pieces from section two as his passport is out of date and we don't have his original birth certificate. Got 3 out of 5 so far and will have the rest next week hopefully. Then had phone calls from all references saying that social worker has made appointments with them 1 on Monday and two of them on Tuesday then they are all done. So nervously waiting for them to be over he's going to see mother in law who I don't always get on with so a bit nervous.

 

[Lolly1985]

Sounds busy your end! It is always a nightmare with CRBs, you will know from your job, getting all the bits together. When I did that in the summer for my promotion they ended up losing my birth certificate Hope you get all sorted for stepson asap

All sounds good with the referees! Sure MIL will be fine, at the end of the day i'm sure she wants the best for her family. So even if you don't always get on, whatever she says will also affect her son and grandsons. Good luck!

Still no news. Busy with uni so that is taking up my time and even though I am majorly stressed it is good in the sense of distraction! Had a lovely suprise at work today and got a card, flowers, champers, choccies and lunch out for engagement

Love Lolly x x x x x x

 

[Loski83]

Hope you hear back soon, you sound busy with uni. The surprise sounds lovely and pleased you are getting spoilt. It's strange at the moment cause there's stuff happening but we aren't having much contact with sw so feel a bit at a standstill. Xx

 

[Lolly1985]

It's all going on behind the scenes, sure they are busy getting everything in place and ready for you to go to panel asap! Hang in there

Hope you are having a nice weekend xxx

 

[Loski83]

Yes we had a nice weekend it was my nephews baptism yesterday so that was a nice family day used to find stuff like that hard but doesn't bother me now so I can just relax and enjoy the day. Another one of our references are being visited on Wednesday morning so that's four so far this week being interviewed. Exiting

 

[Loski83]

Step sons social worker been out tonight all went well. She's back on thursday then not again till end of April so it's fresh for panel. Two references been visited so far they seem to have gone well another two getting visited tomorrow. Been talking to our social worker today and he said hopefully we will have a child placed with us early summer feeling quite excited. Hopefully nothing goes wrong x

 

[Loski83]

Well social worker visited mother in law today should have been yesterday but there was a mix up. Anyway it all went good and he visited my friend today which went good as well. He also called in to see me today as he was in the area to tell me how well everythings going and he said he has a little girl in mind for us and he can't see any problems at all. Next reference is getting visited on Monday and there's another one still to organise. The crb for step son is peeing me off though got 4 out of 5 of the id needed having to chase headmistress up for last one don't think she's ever at work.

 

[Loski83]

Children's sw been out tonight that's her finished now, next time she come she will have the report written up for boys to read then she finished with us. Other reference is booked in for next Friday then they are all finished. Bought a lovely book today called my family, my journey it's a baby book for adopted children love it. Also got a bookcase for the nursery shouldnt have yet but who cares I'm excited.

 

[Lolly1985]

Wow this is all so positive and exciting Can't believe they already have a little girl in mind, talk about dangling the ultimate carrot!! So glad all is looking so promising, you must be beside youself Nothing will go wrong!!!

Sorry not been around much, have had crazy uni deadlines. Have been working all day and then assignments at night. Have sometimes been up early and doing bit before 8am, and during my lunch break Its so overwhelming but am finally starting to see the light, under 9 weeks to go now It has been taking my mind off the lack of contact after our initial interview I know its only 2 1/2 weeks but I would love to know if they have even considered us yet or just put the notes in a pile somewhere for another day I keep thinking I will ring, then change my mind as I don't want them to think I have unrealistic expectations about how long things may take I will be so upset if they say its a no until we have had more time after last fail. What do you think?

xxx

 

[Loski83]

Just phone them shows your interested and thinking about it. I phoned mine every two minutes lol. Pleased your nearly finished with your uni your lucky to have something to take your mind off things. I got the crb sorted the letter has been posted to me and I should get it tomorrow yeah. Agency been on the phone today asking me if I can try and have it to them by Monday. Ring them Monday morning or when you can it won't hurt anything and if you have to wait at least it's not a no! Love laura

 

[Loski83]

If you phone them today lolly I hope you get some answers to your questions and good news x

 

[Loski83]

Well crb has been accepted after driving about like a crazy lady today lol. Another reference done as well seems to have gone well, last one on Friday

 

[Lolly1985]

Hello!!

Great about the CRB, you are ticking things off and getting closer all the time. Good stuff!!

So had an up and down day. Or should I say down then up. So I rang them. I said who I was and that we had had our initial interview three weeks ago and were wondering if the case had been discussed yet, or whether we could be given some rough time frames about next steps. The woman actually scoffed, I mean she did a little chuckle to herself, which clearly said without the need for any more '3 weeks, you're having a laugh, will be a damn slight longer than that before you know whats happening' She said she would look into it and ring me back. I waited in for 6 hours but no call Not good at all

All this got me thinking about the VA we had approached last year immediately after cycle 3 failed. I dug out our info pack and looked online and thought I would give them a ring, explain everything and see what they said.

The lady was lovely and said that they didn't have a time scale like that as all were judged as individuals and they didn't exclude anyone for not meeting a set bunch of criteria. She was positive about our circumstances and seemed impressed that I already work with children. She made me feel like they would be lucky to have us as opposed to the other way around and said that they were crying out for people as all the loopholes instilled means that there are simply not enough adopters at the moment. So we are meeting with them Saturday as they are coincidently running an open day and will take it from there.

She said that they run prep groups every 3 months, but if we have just missed one we will start the home study in the meantime so that we are not just sitting around waiting. I know its only a call but it felt more right if you can understand that. So off we go on Saturday, and if the LA do get back to me, then we are able to realistically weigh up what is best for us. Feeling a lot better

 

[Loski83]

Sounds a bit like us phoned la first they where awful, got local va recommended to us phoned them and have never looked back since first phone call they are fantastic. So happy for you and from everything I have heard va seem to be much faster than la. which agency have you contacted? Private message if you want to x

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Loski

Thank you for the message. It is very interesting to hear that you have been in the same boat also. I did hear back from LA today, and to be fair it must have been the first thing she did as she rang at 8.32! But no news really. SW has started the report but has been on holiday (back Thurday) She couldn't tell me any more, ie, time frames, content etc and said I would hear back soon. But how soon is soon? I know that the SW we met with said she would have to feed back to her manager but this is unclear as to whether that part happens before or after the report. I guess I am open to all avenues now but still very keen to gon Saturady and excited about the prospect of a VA.

I will PM you the name of the agency.

Hope all is good with you and the week is flying by xxxx