Advice needed... Or magic spell...

[MsEmski]

Apologies if this has been asked before, normally I'd search before posting. But I'm tired...

I don't know what advice I'm after, but I'm struggling to cope with BFing now. DS is 20 weeks old today & still feeding every two hours. Without fail; day & night. I know that breast milk digests really quickly & that BF babies need to eat more often. I hate the thought of letting them cry it out- I want to respond to all of his needs & give him the best start (both physically & psychologically) in life.

I suppose I just need reassurance that what I'm doing is right and that I'll eventually get a decent stretch of sleep!

Some background:

He is gaining weight steadily & is chunky for his age. He is also on the top centile-thing for height. I've a theory that he needs to eat so much because he's permanently growing & will be a giant!

He has plenty of wet nappies during the day & goes every morning without fail at 7am (eeek!) for a bm. He has other smaller number twos too.

He rarely cries unless he's in pain or DH has missed his hunger cues.

Six days after he was born, I got a bad case of mastitis. I followed advice given by a MW at the hospital to pump until my breast was empty. I've had a massive problem with oversupply since then. And another three cases of bad mastitis. I regularly get blocked ducts etc.

DS had a shallow latch that was so painful & stressful (for us both) that in the end I started pumping. I only needed to pump four times a day to get around 50oz, but I found it constricting & in a way degrading. Finally, at 14 weeks I managed to get him back on the breast without any pain or stress!
I was really happy to say the least!
However, my flow is really quick. It literally jets out in seven directions after the letdown & continues like this until the breast is empty (the right one). Is this normal?
DS has trouble with the rate, but I think all those weeks of lazy feeding with the bottle has helped it not be worse.
Jeees, I'm rambling here- sorry!
Anyways, he has a problem with a lot of trapped wind (due I'm sure to the flow-rate) and is often sick.

I co-sleep with him- his feet to my belly, no duvet near him, superking-sized bed with plenty of room. But still I don't sleep properly during those 1.5hour stretches when I can sleep. (I try to keep him upright for half an hour as he's sick when I don't.)
I put my hand on his belly, try to soothe him & rock him before feeding, but in all honesty, I know he's still hungry- roots etc.

I try to sleep when he does. I have no schedule or expectation that my house should be clean & tidy. But I'm exhausted. And aside from DH, I've no support as mum will let him cry rather than contact me to feed him so that I 'can rest' & she's said in the past that he's 'got to learn to cry' so I don't particularly have much faith in her care-giving.

Anyone have any helpful suggestions? Or reassurances? Or magic spells?!

Will it all end soon?*

 

[vanessayogini]

you are doing SO WELL!!! it is so hard, i am going through the same thing, my LO is almost 18 weeks old and she is feeding every 2 hours and she has been waking up once or twice more in the night then she used to. all i can say is that i KNOW it'll get easier. and soon, TOO SOON she'll be able to feed herself and won't need me as intimately anymore for that sort of thing. so while i'm exhausted and a mess, i am also happy that i get to be there for her so closely in her first bits of life. you are right not to let your LO "cry it out", you want him to feel secure that you are there for him, not stressed out that his needs aren't being met!! it'll all pay off. it is all so worth it. and you are an amazing mama providing all of this for your sweet LO.

i cast HAPPY MAMA SPELLLLL on you!

 

[MsEmski]

I know what you mean about not wanting the time that they're feeding to pass too! It's odd- I am so desperately torn between needing to sleep & wanting that lush BFing feeding & time between us not to stop.

Thanks for your kind words! Hope things settle down soon for you too.

 

[anothersquish]

Firstly, everything thats going on is a variation of normal, its unfortunate that you have oversupply, an overactive letdown, a shallow latch and a baby who is a hungry type all rolled into one as it certainly makes it tougher but it WILL get better, at some point he WILL go longer between feeds.
Overactive letdown often settles a bit or a lot between 3 and 5 months, the majority of people with oversupply and overactive letdown problems are more or less sorted around 6 months, I know this was the case for me last time. It may seem like a long while away yet but you have obviously dealt very well with it to this point despite an unhelpful attitude from family.
Have you seen the Dr re his sicking up? His wind may be causing the sicking up so it may be worth using a remedy to help trapped wind, this may well stop him being sick after feeding and it MAY help him go longer between feeds (sometimes babies who suffer from trapped wind problems will feed little and often because of the discomfort after a larger feed)

 

[MsEmski]

I'd mentioned the sickness to a HV, but a doctor's appointment is definitely needed. I'll do that tomorrow. I'd thought that the amount of gas in his tummy would mean he never entirely filled himself too.

Thanks!