Advice needed

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by lizsheff, Jun 5, 2011.

  1. lizsheff

    lizsheff New Member

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    Hi, I'm new to this forum not quite sure how to put it!!! Sometimes I feel like I can't cope being Mum my daughter is 13 months at the minute and I can't get anything done as she want's me to be with her all the time she won't sleep in her own cot I am feeding her to sleep taking her out in the car or pram sometimes it seems a constant battle to get her to sleep! I am wanting to wean her from breastfeeding but not sure the best way to do this?? I don't really have any friends to talk to as since I have had my daughter they have all drfited away. I have tried talking to my partner but I don't think he really understands how I feel. I have tried taking her to nursery so she gets used to me not being there but they ring me everytime to say she is screaming and won't settle. I really don't know what to do I feel as though I am losing it. I feel stressed constantly and feel awful for feeling like this. Sorry to go on.
     
  2. chrissy&marty

    chrissy&marty Well-Known Member

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    awww u have friends here !!! :hugs:
    i dont really have advice on a clingy toddler but there will be lots of mums here to help!!!
    dont worry we all feel snowed under some times its normal!!
    :hugs: xxxx
     
  3. Susie28

    Susie28 Mummy to two Princesses<3

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    :hugs:

    It can be really hard at times can't it? Don't feel bad for how you are feeling. It's perfectly normal.

    I don't have any brilliant advice to give.. as my little girl goes through clingy phases and I find it really stressful too when she gets like this. She demands loads of attention and sometimes I can't walk five feet away without her getting upset. Do you have someone who can look after her for an hour or so to give you a break? I can't really leave Poppy with anyone other than my hubby but I know that when I'm feeling stressed he takes her out for a few hours and gives me time to chill out and really makes me feel a lot more positive.

    There are loads of people here who you can chat too about all this so don't feel alone x
     
  4. tina_h75

    tina_h75 mommy of 3

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    :hugs: its separation anxiety and it will get easier. I think you need to try and break the pattern of feeding her to sleep as she is relying on this to settle and hasn't yet learnt to settle on her own. Personally, I don't agree with CC although many have said that it works for them. I have in the past put them in bed and sat on the floor next to them with my hand on their tummy so they don't feel I have gone - then gradually move closer away from the cot and towards the door ( it does take quite a few nights for this though ) You could try leaving her with OH and an item of clothing that you have worn, this way she will get used to being with someone else but will have the security of your scent. Like I said, it will get easier and there are plenty of people here to help. :hugs:
     
  5. caggimedicine

    caggimedicine Mummy to Harry

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    I remember when Harry was that age... I found it to be the hardest time of all. He was clingy and needy... he wouldn't sleep voluntarily - I had to drive him around miles until he fell asleep... I couldn't take him anywhere... he wasn't sleeping at night... I was so stressed out and found it so difficult.

    I know that you've probably heard this a hundred times before but... IT DOES GET EASIER. It's just the hardest time at the moment.

    I don't have any advice re the breastfeeding, but remember that when Harry got to 14 months old, he finally started sleeping through at night, and gradually became less clingy/needy during the day. He started playing by himself for periods of time so I could get things done, and his speech came on so he was able to communicate what he wanted which of course made things easier.

    You can always come on here for advice or a chat. It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do at the moment.
     
  6. MNORBURY

    MNORBURY Well-Known Member

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    It's tough isn't it! I have good days and bad days with the whole bf/clinginess.

    On a good day I can think rationally and tell myself i won't always be like this and she can't possibly want booby/not sleep forever.

    On a bad day, well that's a different story...

    Sorry I haven't any constructive advice but just want you to know you're not alone :hugs:.

    Have you tried taking her to the parent/toddler groups so that she gets used to mixing with other children and therefore you might have more success with taking her to nursery.

    As for the weaning, will she take milk out of a bottle/cup? If so then that's a head start (Evie won't entertain it!). I would aim to drop one feed at a time.

    In the meantime when she is sleepy instead of waiting for her to go into a deep sleep try gently pulling her off the boob when she is sleepy but not fully gone. I'm attempting this with Evie at the moment with mixed results, good luck x
     

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