Advice needed

[Puddleduck]

Hi Girls, I am really after some advice. For those of you who don't know my story here it is in a nutshell.

I am 34 and my DH is 33, I have been off BCP for 2 years and we have not used protection since. I have regular 27/28 day cycles and a luteral phase of 13/14 days. Have been TTC properly using Preseed and OPKs (BDing on days 9,10, 12, 13, 14, 15 and all other variations) for over a year and nothing. Went to the doctors in August this year and had my my 21day bloods - came back normal and confirmed I am ovulating. DH had SA test done and they also came back OK (cant remember the details exactly, wish I had written them down but I think the volume was 24 and something like 56 for motility ???) Doctor said if we weren't TTC he would recommend that we used protection as there is a high risk I would fall pregnant. My doctor is really nice and will happily sit and listen and give advice. During our appointment for the test results he recommended we give it another 3 months till November and if I still haven fallen pregnant he will put me on Clomid.

Well the from hell arrived on time yesterday and I am absolutely devestated. I cried myself to sleep last night and this morning I look like shite I had an argument with my DH last night as well which didnt help and it was of course because he was upset that my period had started. I am feeling really down and under so much pressure to fall pregnant (just got a sorry test from DH this morning!). I have tried just 'relaxing and not worrying about it, going away on holiday, weekends away but it has made no difference'. Perhaps we should just take a break from it all but time is passing us by ??? I am going to go back to the doctors next week to have an internal exam done and to get my prescription for Clomid.

My questions are:

* Clomid ...now I know it helps to stimulate ovulation but how exacly will it help me as my bloods confirmed I do ovulate and I always get a dark or darker line on an OPK on day 13 or 14 of my cycle ???

* Do you girls think that I should ask to be refered to a FS? Are we just wasting time if there is something else going on inside me ?

* If you were in my situation where would you go from here ??? I just don't know what I should do and would really like to hear from you all.

* Sorry for the ramble, sitting in work feeling very down right now......

 

[maz]

Hi hun

My situation is quite similar to yours. We have been ttc for 4 years now. We took a couple of sanity breaks, and when it really got too much for us we sought help. My GP carried out day 21 tests and my DH had his SA done - both came back fine - DH's results were normal, and my bloods showed that I ovulated. My cycle is regular 26/27 days. My GP wasn't in a position to prescribe me anything, as like she said - she's not the fertility expert. She referred us to see a Fertility Specialist at the hospital.

When we got to the hospital, I had internal scans, swabs, and HSG (dye test) done. Only once the FS had established that nothing else was wrong was I prescribed Clomid. I was then referred to a different hospital that has funding for IVF, and the consultant there told me to stop Clomid as there was no point in putting chemicals into my body that are designed to do what I do naturally anyway.

If I were you, I'd get your GP to refer you to see a Fertility Specialist. My feelings on it are : get the relevant investigations done first before taking medications. It may be you have a blockage that will prevent your DH's swimmers from meeting your egg anyway - so what's the point in Clomid in that situation? It may be that you have unexplained subfertility (like me and my DH), in which case, why take medication that is not likely to make a difference?

It's up to you hun what you decide to do. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Fingers crossed you get your very soon.

 

[rachelle1975]

Hey puddleduck,

Sorry to hear evil came with avengengance

I'm with Maz - i think a referral to FS would be a good thing, this is what they do day in day out and they might have more answers or suggestions for you that your GP doesn't have. I'm a firm believer in seeing a specialist - GPs can be great but they can't have all the answers if they don't specialise.

Go see your GP and i'm sure he will be more than happy to refer you to a clinic and then you can take it from there? I never thought i was particularly stressed but then when we found out about the IVF i feel totally chilled now! Mind you... that could be that we have stopped having sex!

 

[Beckic]

I agree with the girls about going to see a FS sweetie.
You needs to get started down the road of others tests like a lap etc.. to rule out alot of other probs.

Good luck hunni - and I am sorry the witch got you.

BX x x

 

[Puddleduck]

Thanks so much for the advice girls it means a lot. I think you have all made my mind up for me. I will get an appointment with the doctor next week and ask him to refer us, I can't carry on getting my hopes up each month for them to come crashing down on me when the arrives. No point in starting Clomid if I have a blocked tube or something, it will just give me false hope. There must be something else wrong with me that needs looking at. I am a bit worried about all the tests etc but I guess I will have to take it one day at a time.

First hurdle is to get the referal and then I guess I will have to wait for an appointment from the FS. Wonder how long that would take? I have no idea where the FS place is around Dudley/West Midlands area. Anyone know ?

I will keep you girls posted on how the doctors appointment goes.

xx

 

[natthecat]

puddleduck, likelyhood in west mids would be you hospital in general. many people get referred to the QE as it's a specialist womens hospital so thats a possibility

 

[rachelle1975]

hey hun i don't live in your neck of the woods BUT..... we saw our GP 2 weeks ago today and she said she would send the referral letter off first thing Friday. I rang them today and they've received it and we should hear back early next week.

Having said that, the appt could be months away but i still go to hear back in less than 3 weeks!!! the age thing does help them move a tad faster xx

 

[natthecat]

puddleduck, likelyhood in west mids would be you hospital in general. many people get referred to the QE as it's a specialist womens hospital so thats a possibility

or MFS who take private and NHS patients

 

[maz]

Hey puddleduck

Try not to think of it as having something wrong with you. You're better off finding out what the cause of not conceiving is, as that will lead to the solution. You could have unexplained subfertility which is a real bummer. As there is no known cause there is nothing to actually treat. When my DH and I were diagnosed with unexplained subfertility, the consultant said that if we had paired off with someone different we may well not have had any problems, but together for some unknown reason, it just wasn't working. Not that that comment helped much - oh well!! Great NHS bedside manner!!

Try not to get stressed about the tests either - we can help you through that stage as and when you get to it - and I know that's easier said than done as I'm a real worry-wart too. You're doing the right thing by going for more tests before taking medication.

When do you go back to your GP?

 

[bonfloss]

Hi Puddleduck

We are in a similar situation, we are now 15 months ttc and it is really starting to take its toll on both of us. I am 31 and DH is 35, I have had 21 day bloods done twice which were normal. DH has had one SA which showed average motility (36%), GP didn't seem concerned by this though as his count was 700 million! I have now been referred to gynae to get tubes tested etc which like you I am apprehensive about but GP said that this was required before we were referred to FS.

Do you have a horse? I sold my mare 4 weeks ago and am toying with idea of getting another but now worried we may need money to pay for private treatment!!!

xxx

 

[Puddleduck]

Hey puddleduck

Try not to think of it as having something wrong with you. You're better off finding out what the cause of not conceiving is, as that will lead to the solution. You could have unexplained subfertility which is a real bummer. As there is no known cause there is nothing to actually treat. When my DH and I were diagnosed with unexplained subfertility, the consultant said that if we had paired off with someone different we may well not have had any problems, but together for some unknown reason, it just wasn't working. Not that that comment helped much - oh well!! Great NHS bedside manner!!

Try not to get stressed about the tests either - we can help you through that stage as and when you get to it - and I know that's easier said than done as I'm a real worry-wart too. You're doing the right thing by going for more tests before taking medication.

When do you go back to your GP?

Thanks Maz, that helps a lot. Perhaps that's it... maybe for some reason that together we are just not working. I dont want to trade him in for a new model though LOL.... I really think it's time for some answers though and perhaps a scan would be a good start. I am one of these people who worry about everything and if I am not worrying then I worry that I am not worrying about something... silly really.

I am going to call the doctors tomorrow to get an appointment for next week they are open all day unlike some doctors so hopefully I can get seen quickly.

 

[Puddleduck]

Hi Puddleduck

We are in a similar situation, we are now 15 months ttc and it is really starting to take its toll on both of us. I am 31 and DH is 35, I have had 21 day bloods done twice which were normal. DH has had one SA which showed average motility (36%), GP didn't seem concerned by this though as his count was 700 million! I have now been referred to gynae to get tubes tested etc which like you I am apprehensive about but GP said that this was required before we were referred to FS.

Do you have a horse? I sold my mare 4 weeks ago and am toying with idea of getting another but now worried we may need money to pay for private treatment!!!

xxx

Thanks Bonfloss, that's interesting that you got refered to a gynae first I wonder if that will happen for me too ?? It's so frustrating as we feel we are doing everything right each month and get our hopes up only to meet up with the right on time.....

Yes I have a horse, that's us in my signature. She is 16.2 grey Irish x mare and a fab jumper. We showjump through the summer only our local competitions but I love it she is very quick against the clock and have won loads this year. I ride most days but my DH is adamant that the horse riding is causing me not to fall pregnant. DaisyDuke checked this out for me with her FS and said it's fine but DH wants to hear it for himself before he accepts it. Silly hey ?? God if I didnt have my horse I would have gone crazy by now though all this TTC business. Are you going to get another horse then ?? why did you sell your mare ??

 

[bonfloss]

She looks lovely and you look great together. I had a chemical pregnancy back in June and my family all said it was down to riding but GP said nonsense which shut them up I know loads of horsey people who ride, my instructor rode up until 8 months, baby boy popped out 4 weeks ago and she is back on already!! I sold my mare as she was becoming a liability to keep at livery, she was very vicious to other horses and after the 2nd bad incident I decided that the stress of it all was probably not helping me.

She has gone to a lovely home where she is kept on her own on a farm and is very happy, however I am missing it like mad as have had my own horse for years. I am even missing the mucking out and am putting weight on already, I do have friends horses I can ride but its not the same and I am starting to look at the internet ads!!
xx

 

[Puddleduck]

Mares hey ? Mine is a little monster and cant go in with any other mares as she is also vicious and rips their rugs. It's a bit of an expensive vice so she has had her own paddock for a few years but just recently a little mare has been introduced in with her who will give as good as she gets and my mare is now 2nd in command and it appears to be working. It was just what she needed something more dominant than she is. My girlie is perfect in everyway and a joy to own really easy other than the field companion situ. But fingers crossed and 3 months later no ripped rugs. Oh yes get another horse, I start to withdrawal symptoms when on holiday cause I miss it if I dont ride for a few days. Just like you I even miss the mucking out !!!

Good luck with the horse search xx

 

[bonfloss]

Good luck puddleduck with your ttc journey.
xx

 

[Puddleduck]

Just a little update for you girls.


I am off to the doctors this morning to either get Clomid (even though i am confirmed as Ovulating) or to try and get a referal to FS. I am feeling a bit nervous to be honest... I just want to make some positive steps forward as its been over 2 years now off the BCP and not a sniff of a BFP just the cow bag on time every dam month.

Wish me luck....

 

[Puddleduck]

Well I went to the doctors and he did an internal exam, got the light down there and had a check of my cervix, all looks good, checked my tum and no lumps or bumps. He also did a smear while he was down there He has prescribed me Clomid for 3 months 50ml to be taken on days 2.3,4,5,6 no sex till day 10 and we are supposed to on days 10,12,14 and 16. If after 3 cycles it doesnt work thenhe will refer us to FS.

So I will be joining the Clomid club on my next cycle xx

 

[Stardancer]

Looking forward to seeing you in the Clomid Club Puddleduck. Good Luck sweetie xxx

 

[Beckic]

Lots and lots and lots of luck that the clomid will work for you sweetie and you will get your BFP before xmas.

bxx x x

 

[bonfloss]

Will keep everything crossed for you, I am now actively looking for another horse as can't cope without!!!
xxx