Advice on telling the father?

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by Neferet, Apr 25, 2009.

  1. Neferet

    Neferet Well-Known Member

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    Hey, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on telling the father. I've told my family, but none of my friends know yet.
    The father is one of my best friends and we're not (and never have been) in a relationship. We had sex when we were very drunk and then I got pregnant. I wasn't originally going to tell him because I'm scared it'd ruin our friendship but then I realised I need to tell him because he has a right to know and he'll find out I'm pregnant eventually anyway. I'm really scared of how he will react when I tell him.
    I need to tell him soon because although I'm only 14 weeks pregnant, I'm starting to get bigger and keep having to undo the button on my trousers so I'm certain it'll be obvious I'm pregnant soon. =/
    I was thinking about telling him on msn or something, because it would be a lot easier, but it seems like one of those things you should really say in person, so I really don't know what to do.
    Does anyone have any advice?
    x
     
  2. Pricey

    Pricey Guest

    Hiya. Definatley do NOT tell him over MSN. He is the father and he has got a right to know, you should tell him face to face. He will appreciate it more.
     
  3. lindypops

    lindypops Lin, Si and Eve

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    I agree - it's got to be face to face, though you will probably then have to give him some time to digest the news before you have another face-to-face conversation about how he's going to be involved, what you'll do over the next few months etc.
     
  4. MummyToAmberx

    MummyToAmberx Mum to 3 Girls 1 Boy

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    tell him straight to his face, im pregnant.
     
  5. xx~Lor~xx

    xx~Lor~xx Young mummy of 3 <3

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    I agree with the other girls im afraid hun, yeh it might be easier, but it's something that needs to be said face to face. Best to tell him somewhere quiet and where you won't get interrupted. I'd do it sooner than later, mostly just for the fact that it's just going to get harder to tell him the longer you leave it and worry about doing it. Plus, he would rather be told by you first than find out another way I'm sure. Good luck!!

    xoxox
     
  6. Neferet

    Neferet Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for your replies. =]
    I'm going to see him today and I'll try and pluck up the courage to tell him then... if not, I'll wait until next time I see him.
    Not sure how to bring the subject up though... just saying 'guess what, i'm pregnant and you're the father' seems a bit weird...
    x
     
  7. xx~Lor~xx

    xx~Lor~xx Young mummy of 3 <3

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    I would reccommend telling him today hun! Best to get it out the way... I wasn't sure how to approach the subject with my mum, not the same but pretty similar situation, I just ended up saying 'Look, mum I have something to tell you, I'm not sure how you're going to take it but I'm happy about it.. I'm pregnant' So you could go along the similar lines, obviously say how you feel about it and add the 'you're the father' lol. Hope it goes okay!

    xoxox
     
  8. Neferet

    Neferet Well-Known Member

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    OMG I told him. He reacted a lot better than I thought he would... we had a long chat about it and joked about it a bit. He's not completely sure how he feels about it and stuff yet, but it went a lot better than I expected so yayyy! ^^ I'm so glad I found this place, if I hadn't I probably wouldn't have told him today. Thanks! =]
     
  9. kookie

    kookie pregnant with no 4

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    well done much better he knows now than later hun xx
     
  10. sleepinbeauty

    sleepinbeauty WTT#1 after marriage

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    way to go! I hope it all turns out well for you and your little family!
     
  11. tasha41

    tasha41 Mum & Dad + 1

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    Tell him straight to his face as soon as possible. :) Good luck hun!
     
  12. patrick978

    patrick978 Member

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    my 18yr old gf told her dad from the start when i took her to get a test, i told her to be honest ,
    and he has been a total unsupportive asshole i felt bad cause it kinda blew up her home life to be stressful, he yells at her and its just not good for her i had to threaten his life to get him to quit putting the emotional abuse on her.... and that kinda worked, now
    doesnt even call to see how his own daughter is doing when she goes to the doctors and is just not a gd father to her in her time of need never mind that they think i dont even exsist lol... she is 14wks preg and im hoping for the best

    its a tough time im 22 and independant its given me so much grief lol
     
  13. annawrigley

    annawrigley Guest

    i think it was the father of her baby not her own father she was having trouble telling. :)

    but i hope your gf's father starts being more supportive.. :( xxx
     
  14. xforuiholdonx

    xforuiholdonx Momma to Emma and Coltin!

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    Face to face would be better dear. My boyfriend was at my house when I took the test, though he wasnt aware I was taking it. I walked out, and handed him the Positive test and he freaked with excitement. All will be ok, just tell him.
    Update us.
     
  15. celine

    celine Well-Known Member

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    This is an old thread by the look of her avatar she had the baby already :)
     
  16. bubble1990

    bubble1990 mummy to noah :)

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  17. patrick978

    patrick978 Member

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    well really in the beginning there was that tension i have relaxed and wanted to meet her dad, he stood me up last time we wer supposed to have a good face to face talk.. it is troubling cause it get between the time i get to spend with her and my involvement

    i recently moved on her street to b closer to her, and i do anything she needs me to do . i just find that her being honest backfired and now we both feel punished.

    she has began having medical issues idk if related to stress or not but i feel completly helpless now it has been taking a toll on myself too
     
  18. annawrigley

    annawrigley Guest

    sorry to hear that :(
    well maybe just give him one more chance or something but if he blows it or isnt interested then stop bothering with him... you shouldnt have to beg for his approval?
    sorry dont really know what to suggest :( xx
     
  19. patrick978

    patrick978 Member

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    yes maybe your right haha i talked to my best friend and asked him how it went when he had to go through that wit his girls father ..

    he said yea i went to go meet the guy he started yelling at my friend , my friend friend just told him to [email protected]#$ off and that wa the end of that ...
     

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