hi folks, i have a three week old (as of 2moro) little boy, and we had a little bit of a rough start. I really wanted to breast feed but we really struggled in the beginning. My LO had problems latching on and would get really cross, and scream and not settle etc and i found the midwives in hospital generally horrendous when it came to BF'ing support. They just grabbed my boob and pushed and twisted my poor baby's head on to there and were very forceful. I wasn't taught anything, they just kept trying to mash the two together. In one day i saw approx ten different midwives who all grabbed and twisted us. On one occaision in the middle of the night when i buzzed for help i got told to 'feed him again' and 'don't put your bag on that bed' - and that was the end of my support.... any hoo, on the first visit from my community midwife when i told her what he was like and she had a hold of him, she said she suspected a broken collar bone. we went off to the hospital and he had an xray and she was right! so my poor little boy who the midwives kept saying was a 'grumpy' baby was actually in pain They don't do anything to the bone as they said it would heal itself quite well in about a week or two, but at least we now knew what was wrong with LO and knew to be extra careful with him on that side. Because we had such a hard time with BF'ing because Lo was in pain, i started expressing and feeding first off by syringe at the hospital, and then by bottle at home. LO is able to attach quite well now and still has bottles and has had dummies. He seems to deal with all the different teats etc very well - no confusion here! lol i really like the idea of combined feeding because, to be quite honest, i find breast feeding so damn boring!! and i feel awful for saying that! but it takes so long, and he just never seems satisfied from me, even if i spend an hour feeding him. The problem is, i also feel like because i am neither completely assigned to BF'ing OR bottle feeding, i am just drifting, with no real plan of action or routine and i am literally living feed to feed. This is really not like me. I need a plan, i LOVE plans! and routines! so feeling like a drifter is really unsettling. also, with the formula feeds, i know that the recommended thing to do is make up each feed fresh as and when you want it, but if i do that, theres no way i can do it quick enough whilst keeping LO calm and sleepy (in middle of the night) and preparing a feed and then waitiing for it to cool. A friend said she always made up the days bottles at the beginning of the day and kept them in the fridge and just heated them as and when. Last night, i took up 2 bottles of boiled water in sterilised bottles and two seperate tubs of formula, and then when LO needed them, i mixed the two. I thought this was better than keeping made up formula in the fridge and the boiled water alone was sterile and in a sterile bottle so no bugs growing there, and the formula was added to the water and used straight away and was served at room temp which is what my baby seems to like. However, another friend said this way round is worse because the powdered formula needs to be added to boiling water to kill any bugs in it. But on the instructions for the formula, it says to boil water, leave to cool for 30 mins, then add formula?? so which is the best way? I just bought a bottle warmer as well to try and make it easier. I do have a great DH but as he works and i am currently not, i don't want him to have to help with the night feeds. I just don't know how to get myself in to a routine i'm comfortable with. i do feel confused lol i also can't imagine ever getting me and LO out the house before late afternoon! I have got to start a proper routine 2moro. i need to feel in control!