Age gaps

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by Weeplin, Dec 26, 2009.

  1. Weeplin

    Weeplin Proud mummy :)

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    So...

    My partner and I were having an awesome christmas day when he randomly started up the conversation of when to have another baby. It had always been down that we would have one when Jason was around 3. The main reason being that I don't really fancy a double pram.

    The thing is he said that perhaps waiting until Jason was 3 would still be rather a large age gap for them to be like twins and play properly, which is what we would both love as there is a 5 year gap between him and his sister and both myself and my partner were brought up with sisters but we both had large age gaps with them. So that started the conversation off about whether we should have one sooner which would mean trying from NOW. This has completely thrown me. I didn't think it was an option until he said and now I am not sure.

    I would love to have another(even with a double pram), but I also love having Jason as the only baby right now and I am worried about having another so soon. What will change and whether Jason will suffer with my split attention, or how it would even work!

    So..HELP! I am so confused. We want a summer baby as our children are winter babies so if I am going to do that before Jason is 2 we have to start next month. Which is no problem as I get preggers really easily but I don't want to rush it when I am not 100% sure..but I don't want to leave it so Jason can't have a great relationship with his sibling.

    What do you think and how do you feel about age gaps? Do you think Jason could still have a playmate relationship with a 3 year gap?
     
  2. goddess25

    goddess25 Well-Known Member

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    There were about 3 years of an age gap between my brother and I and we never played together at all when we were young. We get on well now but not when we were younger, he was a nuisance i thought when we were young. Its hard to make that decision. We are trying now for baby #2 but that is mainly due to my age I am 35 now and 36 in April. SO we need to get a move on.
     
  3. princess_bump

    princess_bump Happy Wife & Mumma!

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    i'm an only child so perhaps can't comment, but i do think a 3year age gap they will play well, but that said, if you both want a smaller age gap, i think they will play well too. personally it's all down to you and your OH and what gap you want. we're aiming for a 3 year one as we didn't want a small age gap, for us, i didn't want two 'babies' together if you no what i mean, and like you, didn't want a double pram, though think i've found one i want and will get it any way with a 3year gap!
     
  4. lovinglife83

    lovinglife83 Member

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    just wanted to put my two cents in... I have two boys and they are 22 months apart. There are up and downs and for the most part its great! they are instant playmates and keep each other company when they are bored. they have the same interest and likes, however they do fight alot and i do have to buy two of everything to keep them from fighting. my dh and i are thinking about another a third child but this time they will be 3 or 3 and a half years apart. i'm a little worried as well as i don't want to pay double for childcare however i'm ready for complete my family.
     
  5. XxXBubsXxX

    XxXBubsXxX 1 Littl'en but want 2!!!!

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    Theres a 13 month age gap between me and my younger sister - i hate her and always have (long story).

    Theres a 6 year age gap between my hubby and his sis and they are really close.

    There will be a 4 year age gap between mine so im hoping they get on ok!

    I dont think you can ever tell!!! x
     
  6. sun

    sun Mum of 3

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    ^^Agreed - you can never tell who will get on well. I am very close with my sibling (less than 2 years difference) but we weren't as close when we were younger - we were close enough in age to play together but fought alot also. My OH has an almost 5 year gap with his sibling and they also get along great, but didn't really as kids.
    xx
     
  7. Weeplin

    Weeplin Proud mummy :)

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    Thank you for your replies ladies (and sorry for taking so long to reply myself), we have decided to wait until we are 100%. As you all say, you can never tell and we think it is more important to have another when the time is rigfht for ourselves and not for the children! Although I think I may have oopsied already on that..hmmm XD
     
  8. plutosblue

    plutosblue Mum of 2 & duffed.

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    There is a 3 year age gap between me and my younger brother and we played together all the time when we were younger, but as we got older (about 7 or 8) we didn't play together as much, and during the teenage years well.. enough said.

    We aren't really close, but we know we are there for each other if that makes sense, only time I really hang out with him now is when he comes down and needs feeding and decides to play a video game with me.
     
  9. plutosblue

    plutosblue Mum of 2 & duffed.

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    double post..

    Also I agree with the other ladies, you can never tell with children, they could have a 10 year age gap and be as close as anything, or be really close together and not get on at all.

    Just go with the flow, no pressure. :happydance:
     
  10. GirlBlue

    GirlBlue Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I agree that it probably depends on the kid. My dh and his biological brother, who is older, are 18 months apart and played together/fought alot as kids. DH thinks thry fought b/c his brother is very selfish (which might be true). He got along much better with his step brother who is 8 yrs older and is very giving. He and his bio-brother are close, but they usually fight at least once over something they do to one another. I think its smart to say have the kids for you. I'm an only and think having more than one has its pluses and minuses, but you are the only one who has to be responsible for them so I think you and DH are smart to say you'll go for it when you are both 100%.
     

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