Age, pregnancy and negativity

[tigerlilly]

i've been thinking today about age and statistics when trying to concieve in ur 30,s and that it really seems to fall in to two areas if ur lucky and it may take longer!
I think as people are now living longer than ever surely they should re look at some of these stats? I also think is'nt it better to be based on the women herself and her own history then being freaked out by generic stats some of which when you look were done in the 50's

When i went to my GP to talk about TTC i expected to be brushed off and be told ur too old! I was totally shocked when she said as long as im ov it shouldn't be a problem and ensured that i was taking folic acid and what medicines to avoid

I think if you recivie negative feed back its ok to change ur gp and surround ur self with positive ppl as much as you can.
lots of to you all x

 

[cebethel]

I agree! Change doc's if yours is negative, heck........steer clear of folks (not just the dr) if they are negative also!

I like to write down positive thoughts, so that I can re-read them. I think sub consciously it helps reinforce positive vibes in your body ( I sound like a hippy)

Of course, I have my moments of thinking all hope is lost (yep, its dramatic) but I come out of it. I keep telling myself "I CAN get pregnant" "My body is ready for pregnancy" "I AM FERTILE"

Baby dust to all!

 

[Indigo77]

Agree!

 

[Sewergrrl]

I agree that you have to have a positive doc on your side. My doc said before 40 (in his opinion) is preferred because of less risks, but many older women have given birth to healthy babies.

 

[Macwooly]

I do avoid ALL people who try and put me down for TTC and that does include some in laws.

Thankfully the 2 GPs I like to see at my doctor's are really positive. One mentioned my weight could affect ovulation but in 2009 bloods were done which provide I did ovulate and my current chart (my first) is still supporting that. Once we knew I ovulated they said DH's diabetes is causing a less than ideal SA result but that could happen at any age to a diabetic man and they advise maybe shift a little weight to make pregnancy and labour less tiring. But my age has NEVER been mentioned

It amazes me that so many statistics exist to say older women struggle to become mums but yet if you look at old censuses you see loads of families with the woman in her 30s and 40s that had babies and toddlers.

I bear in mind to help me with my bad days that it may take longer due to being more experience and mature but that it's not impossible so I hang onto that hope every day

 

[Suki73]

I strongly believe that most women in their late thirties and forties have many advantages over younger mothers. It may take a little longer to conceive, but you are better placed to give your child steady love and guidance.

My mum (who conceived first at 23) often said that if she could have done it over again she would not have married and gotten pregnant so quickly, as she felt that she was not developed enough as a person to deal with all of the difficulties of parenting.

I think we often give ourselves a hard time (or are given a hard time by a sensationalist media) about having done the responsible thing and waited to conceive. I hate the media trying to guilt women about their responsible lifestyle choices. Plenty of women of my mother's and grandmother's generations had late babies and it was always considered 'a blessing' (at least, that was the PR line ). I do think that people who can't be positive about this should just shut up and look to their own lives.

Rock on, ladies

 

[Jax41]

I agree with you all, age is but a mere number!

And sucks boo to the stats! I used to get caught up in them until my DH told me to calm down, that stats are just that and only cover a small % of women at any one time and certainly not the majority of us.

Everybody's body is differentand I know that we can't ignore Mother Nature, but while she is still giving us the opportunities we should grab 'em and certainly never give up hope!!

Good luck ladies xXx

 

[Natsby]

My doctor isn´t negative, she is just really ignorant, she admitts to not knowing anything about conception etc, but hopefully I will see another dr soon.
As to positvity, I have said it lots of times but I swear by my hypnosis download mp3 it helps me relax and makes me feel proactive whilst doing it. And generally I would say I feel better since doing it...though not today!

 

[Storm1jet2]

My dads mum had him when she was 42 and he was the healthiest out of her 3 children and the other 2 were born when she was 24 and 27! My dad was the best thing that ever happened to their family - not that I'm biased He just laughs when I mention my age - saying 'your granny had me at 42 and I'm fine!'

 

[sarahincanada]

ive said this before but my nanna was 40 when she had my mum in 1939! and my aunty had twin boys at 40 in the late 60's. im sure they didnt know anything was abnormal about that as there was less media then!

obviously we are going to have less eggs the older we get, but doesnt mean we cannot conceive but it just may take longer to get that golden egg

 

[SnowyBaby]

I strongly believe that most women in their late thirties and forties have many advantages over younger mothers. It may take a little longer to conceive, but you are better placed to give your child steady love and guidance.

My mum (who conceived first at 23) often said that if she could have done it over again she would not have married and gotten pregnant so quickly, as she felt that she was not developed enough as a person to deal with all of the difficulties of parenting.

I think we often give ourselves a hard time (or are given a hard time by a sensationalist media) about having done the responsible thing and waited to conceive. I hate the media trying to guilt women about their responsible lifestyle choices. Plenty of women of my mother's and grandmother's generations had late babies and it was always considered 'a blessing' (at least, that was the PR line ). I do think that people who can't be positive about this should just shut up and look to their own lives.

Rock on, ladies

I needed to read this so badly today! What a wonderful thread. I just turned 34 and had a major meltdown about my age and babies last night. Its a huge concern of mine and I feel so much pressure now that 35 is just around the corner. Its nice to find positive attitudes about TTC later in life. Makes me feel calmer inside.

 

[Natsby]

Don´t worry Snowybaby, your a baby yourself on this forum!! I´m 38 it feels younger when your here looking back on 35 then when your 34 looking forward, if that makes sense.

 

[velo]

ive said this before but my nanna was 40 when she had my mum in 1939! and my aunty had twin boys at 40 in the late 60's. im sure they didnt know anything was abnormal about that as there was less media then!

obviously we are going to have less eggs the older we get, but doesnt mean we cannot conceive but it just may take longer to get that golden egg

My TCM doc I am seeing said his wife's grandmother was conceived when her mom was 42 - this is in 19th century England - and that she was her first child (where getting married that late in life was unheard of, and her husband was a 60-something widower), and she was just the first one of FOUR. Probably why not a lot of older moms in the olden days was if they kept having children from their early 20s to their 40s they were apt to die in childbirth by that point! (thank goodness for modern medicine)

One of my closest friends has two siblings, and all three of them were born when both their parents were in their 40's. Apparently her parents had been trying for TEN years before they actually went to the doctor to investigate. Turns out there was a problem correctable by minor surgery.

I think the point of my last statement is if you have been trying over 6 months and not succeeded go to your doctor! I'm so impatiently awaiting my specialist appt in August.

 

[SnowyBaby]

Don´t worry Snowybaby, your a baby yourself on this forum!! I´m 38 it feels younger when your here looking back on 35 then when your 34 looking forward, if that makes sense.

Makes total sense and I've never been one whose hung up on my age so I don't know why I let it bother me when it comes to TTC. Reading through this forum has honestly helped me so much. I am working on keeping a positive attitude because I know that stressing over something (age) that I can't control isn't going to make the situation any better.

Thank you for responding. I makes a newbie like myself feel welcom.

 

[GreenFingers]

Reading through this forum has honestly helped me so much. I am working on keeping a positive attitude because I know that stressing over something (age) that I can't control isn't going to make the situation any better.

Thank you for responding. I makes a newbie like myself feel welcom.

Hi SnowyBaby, I can totally relate to that, it is so great that there is such a positive vibe here. I'm 36 and have been obsessed since turn 35 with what I thought was the clock ticking, these last few weeks on here have really changed my attitude, listening to all the success stories and words of support.

Hoping you get you BFP soon and your visit here is short lived

 

[Sewergrrl]

The only conception/birth sensation worthy of media attention are mega multiple births and that one woman a few years ago who gave birth over 60. NONE of us are old enough for anyone to care (except us!).

 

[NorthStar]

When my ex BF was born the lady in the hospital bed next to his mum was 59 years old having about her seventh child.

This was back in the 70's before all the modern technology, so it does happen.

 

[future_numan]

59 Umm that's to old for me but if she felt up to the challange all the power to her..

Back when we decided we wanted another child ( in 2006) I was 34 and felt way too old..but after we had Emily in 2010, I can tell you I feel better as a parent now then I did when I had my first DD back when I was young..
I don't care what other people think because it's me that's living this life not them..
I am going to have another LO and I am a firm beleiver in positive thinking so it's not a matter of if but when !!

 

[NorthStar]

Ha ha I wasn't suggesting it was an awesome idea or anything!

Though I did see a documentary last year about an English lady who had a baby through IVF in Italy at about the same age, and is contemplating doing it again.

By 59 I hope to be almost retired, I'll be pottering in my garden and making jam FX'd.

 

[TiggerToo]

ive said this before but my nanna was 40 when she had my mum in 1939! and my aunty had twin boys at 40 in the late 60's. im sure they didnt know anything was abnormal about that as there was less media then!

obviously we are going to have less eggs the older we get, but doesnt mean we cannot conceive but it just may take longer to get that golden egg

OMG. I bet your Nanna got more than a few looks!

There's a picture of my great-grandmother in her seventies surrounded by her - yes, this is correct - NINETEEN LIVING CHILDREN....she was preggo 21 times.