'Ahh your so lucky' .......

[StarShine_]

I consider myself extremely grateful to have 2 beautiful children, regardless of their gender. I do however have 1girl and 1 boy.

However I am becoming increasingly annoyed at the amount of people saying ' oh one of each, your so lucky' or ' one of each, you won't be having anymore now'

So if I had 2boys or 2girls I wouldn't be lucky?!? Or just because we have one of each we shouldn't have anymore?! I had children because I wanted children, not because I wanted a boy or a girl. having a baby is 50/50!!! As it happens we agreed before having our 2nd child that we only wanted to have 2, so wiuldnt of been having any more even if Lyla had been a boy!!

Anyone else have this? Or get annoyed? Or am I just rambling?!? Lol (having one of those days!!!)

 

[feedindy]

Yeah I hate that too. I only have one baby, but when I was pregnant and found out it was a girl, everyone wanted to know if DH was upset about it. I'd say of course not, he is thrilled. Then they would say "Oh well he may be upset and not telling you".

Then my DH's grandmother said "Don't worry, you'll love her as if she were a boy." I was disgusted.

 

[Scarlett316]

When I told my mum I was having a boy she said " that's ok you'll probably get a girl next time" er, what?? As if I was unlucky getting a boy!!!

 

[angel_annie07]

We have 1 boy and 1 girl too and I get the sane said to be about we won't need anymore. Well actually I say we want at lease 1 more baby! It's so annoying!

 

[isabelsmummy]

I get this too and ... Oh you won't be having anymore as your not going to get anything different! Well all children are different boy or girl??? As it happens we only want 2 childrens especially after I nearly died having ds ( retained placenta and haemorage) but it has nothing to do with the sex of our kids! X

 

[nugget80]

i had this when i had my ds...! i already had 2 girls and when i had ds everyone kept saying things like '3rd time lucky' and how i 'must be so pleased to finally have a little boy.' we had a baby cos we wanted a child together, not cos we wanted to try for a boy. i did not find out the sex during pregnancy either so it was a wonderful surprise. and to all those who tell me that my family must be complete now i have my ds i tell them no cos i want at least 1 more...!

 

[Seity]

From another perspective, I know far too many people with 3+ children who only wanted 2 kids, but kept trying because for some unknown reason they just 'had' to have one of the other gender. (They usually never got it either)
The nice thing about one of each at 2 kids is that if you do decide to have more, you won't constantly be getting people going on about you trying again for the gender you don't have yet, etc.

BTW - We constantly get people going on about us trying for a girl now. We don't want any more kids thank you very much. We're quite happy with just the one and No, he does not need a sibling, he's not missing out on anything.

 

[hayley x]

The 'pigeon pair' comments really made me want to cry when it was being said by hospital staff. It clearly states we HAVE a son just hes dead, so why mention how greatful we must feel to have a girl then a boy when infact we have 2 boys and a girl some people are so ignorant!!! x

 

[letia659]

I hate this comment I hear my friend get it and she is so proud which is great but I guess since I lost our baby girl in may its more of a soft spot plus this friend found out she was having a girl on the same day I found out I was having a boy (Zander) and she made the statement to me that she was the "lucky one!" pissed me off to no end mostly because she knew we had been TTC for nearly 4 yrs and thought we were not going to be able to have another baby so gender was not even anything we cared about at that point and she got pregnant on the first month off bcp but she was the lucky one just because of the gender she got I love having 2 boys and wouldnt change it for anything!

 

[KittyVentura]

Well, for most people having at least one of each is an ideal. I think people are just trying to reflect on how you've achieved what a lot of couples do set out to do. Saying lucky however does imply that any other mix of gender is unlucky or undesired and that's saddening.

Me, I'd be overjoyed to have another boy. However a girl would be our ideal. If I have 2 healthy boys or even 3 healthy boys I will think myself extremely lucky indeed. Same as if I had 2 or 3 girls. Or even just the 1. xx

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

this really bugs me when we had Ellie everyone and strangers would comment and say dont you wish Ellie was a boy cause you have Mia and we are like no!!! cause we are very lucky for Ellie to be here in the 1st place so yeah this bugs me xx

 

[Cattia]

The 'pigeon pair' comments really made me want to cry when it was being said by hospital staff. It clearly states we HAVE a son just hes dead, so why mention how greatful we must feel to have a girl then a boy when infact we have 2 boys and a girl some people are so ignorant!!! x

Oh my goodness Hayley, I didn't know you'd had your baby, huge congrats!!!!

I get this too, the whole 'well you won't need any more now' (I want a third) and 'that was well planned' (it wasn't planned) along with all the close age gap comments too; 'at least you've got it all over with quickly'

 

[StarShine_]

Thanks ladies, glad it isn't just me!! Just drives me crazy! X

 

[Blah11]

I get that comment now im expecting a boy and tbh, i dont care cos I do feel lucky. I genuinely didnt care either way but i know people have 3 or 4 boys and really want a girl or vice versa so im glad I'll never have to stress about that. I dont think people mean any harm

 

[Kiddo]

We get people asking if we'll have another since we might want a girl. Of course not. If we did decide to ttc again (which we have no plans to do) then it would be because we wanted another baby not because we wanted a girl or a boy. We love our two boys and don't number of each gender to feel like our family is complete. We feel very blessed already

 

[EllaAndLyla]

I hate when people say, 'awww hopefully you get a boy next time'... who cares? A baby should be loved and cherished whatever their sex. There is a lot of discrimination about baby girls anyway in the world, where people want to have a boy so he can carry on the family name. I actually read somewhere that the NHS are thinking of not telling people the sex of their baby at their 20 week scan because of the risk of not wanting a certain sex child and having an abortion. x

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

I get annoyed by the way my family says 'you've got one of each now so you can't have anymore' I beg your pardon!! This is MY family, MY choice, no one else brings up my children but me, if I want more then I'll have more, regardless of their genders!!

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

I hate when people say, 'awww hopefully you get a boy next time'... who cares? A baby should be loved and cherished whatever their sex. There is a lot of discrimination about baby girls anyway in the world, where people want to have a boy so he can carry on the family name. I actually read somewhere that the NHS are thinking of not telling people the sex of their baby at their 20 week scan because of the risk of not wanting a certain sex child and having an abortion. x

That's really sad... I couldn't even imagine people doing that, I'd never even be able to consider aborting due to gender, what a selfish thing to do...

 

[heather91]

Yes!!! Im aware I have 1 of each but I will probably have another one. It implies I had another baby so id have a boy.. What a load of rubbish. I had another because I love my family and wanted to expand it.

 

[aimee-lou]

In certain areas of the country they don't do gender as part of the scans as some cultures prefer boys and will do anything to 'get rid' of an unwanted child. It's very sad.

Earl was a surprise, as will all of our children (we would like 3 ideally) and we do get comments occasionally about how 'next time will you want a girl' and things. I usually say 'A healthy baby would be good' and they look really guilty (probably cruel of me, but people need to think before they speak). As it stands, we actively 'tried' for another boy lol. I don't think we got it judging by the timings and things, but I'll be happy with either. You are blessed with a child to raise, and people should be happy for you. My hubby was so angry when he rang my Mum and MIL when Earl was born to tell them and both of them sounded disappointed that he wasn't a girl. You can just see that they wanted to go out buying frilly dresses rather than deal with a little boy. We on the other hand were over the moon, as we would have been with a girl. It never occurred to us that people would have preferred one over the other.