ahhhh! about to give up

[cissyhope]

iv had so many problems with bf,with the latch then thought i had thrush and now i feel empty alot of the time! I dont want to give up but so scared im not giving my lo enough as he is hungry all the time so is feeding all the time,so i never feel full and he dose get v frustrated at my boob my oh wants me to just give him ff on the night but i was told by a breast consultant that giving him ff would destroy alot of goodness i had done by bf the last 4 weeks iv got a express machine to help stimulate more milk but by expressing milk i feel like thre wont be any left for lo as he is feeding bout every half hour to 45 mins
lo is having one poo a day but lots of wets.He was born 6lb 5oz and he is only 6lb7oz 4 weeks on should i just cave in and give him ff? please help as im really worried about the right thing to do. many thanks again

just cant believe im going through this! really thought i would be able to bf

 

[bathbabe]

i have no real advice hun because i FF, but have you thought about giving him your expressed breast milk to? That way your not wasting it. But im sure there are plenty on people on here that can give you better advice. Good luck x

 

[Pepper&Harry]

Hi,
Just felt like I had to answer but not sure am the best person to help....
When my little one was very young it felt like he wanted to feed ALL the time - he would be sucking away for hours it seemed (but he did have times when he slept for 1 - 4 hours!). It gradually got better though! As for the weights I am no expert but I always thought that as long as they were putting on and not losing it that was a good thing....sometimes my little one didn't put on anything in a week then the next week he would put on a lot. Expressing milk has the benefit of increasing supply - even if not much comes out, the sucking action tells your body something and so at that time the next day there will be a bit more milk.....sorry if not making sense! And like bathbabe has said you can give your little one the expressed milk in a bottle later (often evenings are a good time because the body naturally produces less milk then sor some reason - hence babies often chain feeding at this time).
Anyway I think you have done brilliantly to stick it out this far under tough conditions and if you do decide to FF remember you are still nurturing and nourishing your baby!!!! Good luck!

 

[marie73]

So sorry you're feeling like that hun. Bf is so hard - I felt it had been sold as the easy option whilst I was pregnant and I was determined to do it. However nobody tells you that baby might not be able to latch, will have a tongue tie, your nipples are too flat, then your baby and yourself get so stressed by it all that you spend all your time crying and feeling like a complete failure as a mother. Obviously that was my experience and some people do find it very easy but I don't think that's the case for most people from experiences of friends etc. I'm just stopping expressing which I've been doing for 4 weeks. My milk supply is not sufficient for my lo even with use of domperidone and I was spending valuable time expressing when I should be enjoying my little girl. Don't know what to advise regarding the feeding but it's generally thought that the more baby feeds the more milk your body produces. Are you sure you've got a good latch now? From my understanding babies are at the boob more or less continually in the first few weeks before settling down. Perhaps ask in the breast feeding forum for further advice? Just out of interest how does formula destroy benefits of bf for last 4 weeks? Hate to say it but the breast feeding consultant made the situation worse for me as I just felt guilty for not being able to feed my baby. My lo hasn't looked back since I started combination feeding and I feel some breast milk is better than none at all. Best of luck - hope things improve but be reassured that whatever you decide will be best for you and lo.

 

[AlwaysPraying]

Ff would not destroy what you've done in the past four weeks that's crazy to say! Do what you can and don't punish yourself any further. Try to take the emotion away and look at it from a practical way. You can Ff and breast feed. There are other options. Don't let the nurses make you feel bad if it's not working for whatever reason.

 

[chetnaz]

Hi hun, firstly let me just say that you are not or would not be undoing all the hard work by giving your lo formula at night! That's bull imo. My boys had breastmilk all day when newborn and I would give them one bottle of formula just before bed so that I could see that they were getting a good feed and would hopefully sleep a little better. Once we got used to the bf and my milk supply was enough, we stopped the formula, but it didnt harm them in anyway. I would still give them booby through the night when they woke up as it's important for them to suckle at night as thats when you produce more milk aparently.

As for lo's weight, dont forget they always lose a bit of weight first then put it back on so the fact that your lo is a bit bigger than birth weight seems fine to me, as he probably lost some first and has now put it back on plus some extra. Also have you tried fenugreek tablets? They increase your milk supply. If you're really determined to bf it can be done hun. I had so much trouble to begin with, but i was determined that I would bf the twins and we did it - they are suck chunky little monkeys. Hope all goes well x

 

[cissyhope]

thank you so much for your replys.Iv only been expressing the last couple of days ,if you can call it expressing,for all that comes out! the most has been just under 1oz but thats surerly cause lo is contantly feeding!? I do give him the expressed on the night.

marie think she said something about the it destroying the goodness in the gut? x

chetnaz iv been taking fenugreek a week now? not really seeing a difference? x

think i will buy some formula but try not to use it but if i need to just at night like chetnaz. thank u so much for taking the time out to reply,u have all been so nice x

 

[chelle7]

My lo def continually around 4to 6weeks. I felt i wasn't giving her enough milk and expressed to top hop up. She would still want more after taking the expressed too. It did calm down though after the 6wk growth spurt.

 

[chelle7]

Ps i had a lot of trouble bf in the beginning. Had to use a nipple shield to get lo to latch then had to wean her off it. It took a good few weeks i think for me to get the hang of bf in. I spent a lot of time in tears at the start. It is def sold as an easy thing to do but i found it far from easy

 

[cissyhope]

thank you,yes the times iv had tears running down my face whilst my beautiful lo is getting frustrated and angry trying to feed think i feel almost guilty for bf as he is not putting weight on as quickly and he was born small and he seems staving all the time? my oh thinks just do ff. im going to see how much weight he has put on monday and just hope we can get through the next few days without ff (will get some though just in case)

 

[~Mummy~]

Ugh, tell me about it... My LO has been awake since 1am, it's now 11am and apart from two 15min naps and two nappy changes she's been feeding all this time...

I feel like giving up too

I tried expressing a bit the last few days and all I can get each day is about 2oz?

So I don't have any advice but just wanted to say you're not alone and send some

 

[karenm28]

I could have written your post at that time

Those first few weeks are soooo hard, my DS also fed constantly and put on weight very very slowly just an ounce here and there. I just sat feeding him and crying non stop.

However after 6 weeks his weight started piling on and shot up, making up for the slow weight gain at first.

My DS was born on 50th centile, went down to 25th and then 9th by 6 weeks - then by 4 months he was up on 75th centile (in line with his height).

It does take at least 6 weeks for your supply to become established and for now your baby will be getting your supply up ready for the growth spurt. Most people give up in the first few weeks and supplementing can encourage that.

It's a difficult one whether to supplement, I personally gave one FF a day for about 3 days at that age because I was at the end of my tether but then I was determined to continue BFing alone and managed to do so.

If you do supplement a tiny bit then I would recommend you pump around the same time and do it as a set short term thing. You would risk baby liking the ease of bottles more and rejecting the breast if you did it too much.

If you don't supplement I am almost sure things will get easier as your supply catches up.

My supply was too low for the first 6 weeks then got over abundant and would shoot DS in the face all the time!

This constant feeding is baby's way of getting your supply up as high as possible for all these growth spurts that are coming on.

As long as your baby has wet and dirty nappies they are not starving

Hope this helps you stick at it and get through this hardest time

 

[cissyhope]

I could have written your post at that time

Those first few weeks are soooo hard, my DS also fed constantly and put on weight very very slowly just an ounce here and there. I just sat feeding him and crying non stop.

However after 6 weeks his weight started piling on and shot up, making up for the slow weight gain at first.

My DS was born on 50th centile, went down to 25th and then 9th by 6 weeks - then by 4 months he was up on 75th centile (in line with his height).

It does take at least 6 weeks for your supply to become established and for now your baby will be getting your supply up ready for the growth spurt. Most people give up in the first few weeks and supplementing can encourage that.

It's a difficult one whether to supplement, I personally gave one FF a day for about 3 days at that age because I was at the end of my tether but then I was determined to continue BFing alone and managed to do so.

If you do supplement a tiny bit then I would recommend you pump around the same time and do it as a set short term thing. You would risk baby liking the ease of bottles more and rejecting the breast if you did it too much.

If you don't supplement I am almost sure things will get easier as your supply catches up.

My supply was too low for the first 6 weeks then got over abundant and would shoot DS in the face all the time!

This constant feeding is baby's way of getting your supply up as high as possible for all these growth spurts that are coming on.

As long as your baby has wet and dirty nappies they are not starving

Hope this helps you stick at it and get through this hardest time

Oh thank you so much! yes you really have helped! one question- so even though im not really getting that much out (expressing) carry on ? it will get more?

 

[cissyhope]

Ugh, tell me about it... My LO has been awake since 1am, it's now 11am and apart from two 15min naps and two nappy changes she's been feeding all this time...

I feel like giving up too

I tried expressing a bit the last few days and all I can get each day is about 2oz?

So I don't have any advice but just wanted to say you're not alone and send some

So sorry your having a hard time too Iv always wanted to bf as instinctively i know its better so its a disappointment that i may have to supplement 2oz though im jealous Do you feel empty all the time? xxx

 

[ILoveShoes]

Hi hun,
I went through similar to you.
My LO wouldn't latch for the first 3 weeks. We fed him EBM from a cup.
Eventually, he latched using nipple shields BUT every feed was a nightmare He would fuss, cry, slip on and off the boob. I used to dread him getting hungry because it was so stressful for us both. I would get upset and cry, and I did not enjoy feeding my boy
I stuck it out for 1 month and 4 weeks, and this week I switched to FF.
I felt a mixture of sad and relieved and the first time I saw my DH give my LO a bottle, I cried.
HOWEVER, three days in, I'm glad I made the change. I feel much happier and more relaxed.
I'm not saying that you should change to FF, but it was the right thing for my family. Happy Mummy = happy baby.
I carried on BFing because I felt like I 'should' and I felt like I would be failing my boy if I gave up. I've since realised that its more important that we are both happy.
Luckily, he has taken really well to his bottle and to formula.
Like I said, I'm not telling you what to do, but I think I know how you feel.
Feel free to PM me if you want.
Xx

 

[xemmax]

i would strongly strongly urge you to get in touch with la leche league or seek some professional advice! just to make sure all is well. i would certainly hold out on the formula until you've spoken to someone as it may do more harm than good if your baby is trying to increase your supply due to a growth spurt. good luck and i hope it all works out! xx

 

[New Mrs W]

Oh, I think you should try and stick it out, maybe combination feed if you can.

I was determined to BF but Frankie just kept losing weight, even though he seemed to be constantly feeding. I was sore but was getting through it and didn't want my own pain to be a factor in stopping feeding him myself.

After getting HV anD MW to spend time with me whilst feeding him, they all agreed that his latch and technique was great and I was definetly producing milk, though clearly not enough.

The final straw came for me at 10 days old when he had lost even more weight, despite me feeding him as often as he would take it, and he had not pooed for 6 days. In fact, he hadn't done a proper poo, the only poo he had ever done had been passing meconium. The MW was pretty worried and had us admitted to hospital.

I was so frightened that I was causing my baby harm by insisting that I BF. He was also covered in a strange rash, which although the doctor said was common in newborns I couldn't help thinking was due to him not having enough to eat.

Once in hospital, I was advised to give him a bottle of formula as a one off to see if it would make him poo. Frankie absolutely glugged it down, which made me feel awful as he was so clearly hungry. Then, within about half an hour of having the bottle, he did a MASSIVE poo!! The doctor thought that he was just absorbing whatever he was getting from me and not having enough left over for waste, another sign that he wsa very hungry.

I decided in haste that I would switch him to FF as I could see that he was getting enough food and it was making him poo, which had been something I was really worried about. I now wish I had known about combination feeding. I had been under the impression that if you gave a BF baby formula food from a bottle that they would no longer take the breast as they wouldn't get as much food as easily as they can from a bottle.

I regret every day that I gave up, even though I realise that the reasons were good and I had sat and thought about it so carefully and really had Frankie's health at the forefront of my mind when I made the decision. I just wish that someone had said to me that it would be ok to do a bit of both.

So, from my own experience, do try and give it a bit longer. You may end up seriously regretting stopping BF like I do.

 

[hivechild]

Those first 6-8 weeks can be so hard as your LO is having what seems to be back to back growth spurts and your supply is being established.

I know it doesn't really make you feel better right now to hear that what you're going through is normal and not unexpected, and that it does get better, but it is, and will and usually between 6-8 weeks. Feel free to want to punch me now because you're exhausted, sore, wrung out, and want it to get better right now! I know I sure felt that way at that point, and here I am now past 9 months, still nursing and with no intention of stopping any time soon!

Onto the topic of formula. This is one of those that is and always will be hotly debated i think, but an educated decision is always the best decision.

The first thing you need to decide is how important it is to you for your child to only receive breastmilk exclusively until you wean onto solids (WHO recommendations are until at least 6 months exclusively, up to a year before introducing cow or goat milk, and up to 2+ years, which in all honesty is not common in western society, but there are what seems to me to be an increasing amount of breastfeeders these days who nurse through until at least 1 year. Your consultant is correct in that introducing anything other than breastmilk into your LO's digestive system drastically changes the natural flora and normal state of the digestive system. Again, how important that is to you is a personal choice.

Whether to introduce formula periodically or only occasionally is, you guessed it, a personal choice. While some women can supplement fine, for many women it is the beginning of a downward spiral in not managing to establish and maintain their supply and breastfeeding relationship.

The not full feeling of your breasts is perfectly normal once your supply begins to establish and the initial engorgement settles. If your LO is gaining weight and you are changing plenty of wet nappies, your LO is getting "enough." Because breastmilk is easily digested, and your LO is able to more effectively absorb the nutrients and nourishment from breastmilk than anything else, not pooping for days (up to 10) is not uncommon. Your breasts don't run out of milk and will produce more on demand, which is what your LO is doing with the constant suckling right now by letting your body know how much he needs so that it can meet those demands more readily. As they grow, there will be periods again of increased nursing to build supply to meet their growing needs.

Supplementing with formula at this stage can be detrimental in that sense as your LO is more quickly able to feed and be full with a bottle, so that time off the breast is time your body doesn't think your LO requires milk and it will adjust supply to that. You can express, however a pump is never as efficient at extracting milk as a baby, so shouldn't be used as a measure of how much milk you're producing. Many women can nurse exclusively for years but are unable to pump even an ounce.

If you want to introduce a bottle of formula, and still keep up supply by pumping while they feed, that negates any benefit of doing it to get some rest. Many women find it easier to co sleep and nurse lying in bed during the night, and for their partners to help out by doing night changes and winding them etc. Remember that the night hours are your most productive for milk supply as well, so not feeding from the breast during those hours can adversely affect your supply.

All that being said, as a mother, you can only do what you feel is best for the health and well being of your baby and whatever you decide to do will be in their best interests.

Just know that you're not alone, and that so many other women are going through, and have gone through the exact same thing. Well done for making it this far!

 

[Eve]

Those first 6-8 weeks can be so hard as your LO is having what seems to be back to back growth spurts and your supply is being established.

I know it doesn't really make you feel better right now to hear that what you're going through is normal and not unexpected, and that it does get better, but it is, and will and usually between 6-8 weeks. Feel free to want to punch me now because you're exhausted, sore, wrung out, and want it to get better right now! I know I sure felt that way at that point, and here I am now past 9 months, still nursing and with no intention of stopping any time soon!

Onto the topic of formula. This is one of those that is and always will be hotly debated i think, but an educated decision is always the best decision.

The first thing you need to decide is how important it is to you for your child to only receive breastmilk exclusively until you wean onto solids (WHO recommendations are until at least 6 months exclusively, up to a year before introducing cow or goat milk, and up to 2+ years, which in all honesty is not common in western society, but there are what seems to me to be an increasing amount of breastfeeders these days who nurse through until at least 1 year. Your consultant is correct in that introducing anything other than breastmilk into your LO's digestive system drastically changes the natural flora and normal state of the digestive system. Again, how important that is to you is a personal choice.

Whether to introduce formula periodically or only occasionally is, you guessed it, a personal choice. While some women can supplement fine, for many women it is the beginning of a downward spiral in not managing to establish and maintain their supply and breastfeeding relationship.

The not full feeling of your breasts is perfectly normal once your supply begins to establish and the initial engorgement settles. If your LO is gaining weight and you are changing plenty of wet nappies, your LO is getting "enough." Because breastmilk is easily digested, and your LO is able to more effectively absorb the nutrients and nourishment from breastmilk than anything else, not pooping for days (up to 10) is not uncommon. Your breasts don't run out of milk and will produce more on demand, which is what your LO is doing with the constant suckling right now by letting your body know how much he needs so that it can meet those demands more readily. As they grow, there will be periods again of increased nursing to build supply to meet their growing needs.

Supplementing with formula at this stage can be detrimental in that sense as your LO is more quickly able to feed and be full with a bottle, so that time off the breast is time your body doesn't think your LO requires milk and it will adjust supply to that. You can express, however a pump is never as efficient at extracting milk as a baby, so shouldn't be used as a measure of how much milk you're producing. Many women can nurse exclusively for years but are unable to pump even an ounce.

If you want to introduce a bottle of formula, and still keep up supply by pumping while they feed, that negates any benefit of doing it to get some rest. Many women find it easier to co sleep and nurse lying in bed during the night, and for their partners to help out by doing night changes and winding them etc. Remember that the night hours are your most productive for milk supply as well, so not feeding from the breast during those hours can adversely affect your supply.

All that being said, as a mother, you can only do what you feel is best for the health and well being of your baby and whatever you decide to do will be in their best interests.

Just know that you're not alone, and that so many other women are going through, and have gone through the exact same thing. Well done for making it this far!

Great advice here
It does get better hun, I've been breastfeeding for 10.5 months now and when I pump I get an oz, if that!

 

[cissyhope]

Those first 6-8 weeks can be so hard as your LO is having what seems to be back to back growth spurts and your supply is being established.

I know it doesn't really make you feel better right now to hear that what you're going through is normal and not unexpected, and that it does get better, but it is, and will and usually between 6-8 weeks. Feel free to want to punch me now because you're exhausted, sore, wrung out, and want it to get better right now! I know I sure felt that way at that point, and here I am now past 9 months, still nursing and with no intention of stopping any time soon!

Onto the topic of formula. This is one of those that is and always will be hotly debated i think, but an educated decision is always the best decision.

The first thing you need to decide is how important it is to you for your child to only receive breastmilk exclusively until you wean onto solids (WHO recommendations are until at least 6 months exclusively, up to a year before introducing cow or goat milk, and up to 2+ years, which in all honesty is not common in western society, but there are what seems to me to be an increasing amount of breastfeeders these days who nurse through until at least 1 year. Your consultant is correct in that introducing anything other than breastmilk into your LO's digestive system drastically changes the natural flora and normal state of the digestive system. Again, how important that is to you is a personal choice.

Whether to introduce formula periodically or only occasionally is, you guessed it, a personal choice. While some women can supplement fine, for many women it is the beginning of a downward spiral in not managing to establish and maintain their supply and breastfeeding relationship.

The not full feeling of your breasts is perfectly normal once your supply begins to establish and the initial engorgement settles. If your LO is gaining weight and you are changing plenty of wet nappies, your LO is getting "enough." Because breastmilk is easily digested, and your LO is able to more effectively absorb the nutrients and nourishment from breastmilk than anything else, not pooping for days (up to 10) is not uncommon. Your breasts don't run out of milk and will produce more on demand, which is what your LO is doing with the constant suckling right now by letting your body know how much he needs so that it can meet those demands more readily. As they grow, there will be periods again of increased nursing to build supply to meet their growing needs.

Supplementing with formula at this stage can be detrimental in that sense as your LO is more quickly able to feed and be full with a bottle, so that time off the breast is time your body doesn't think your LO requires milk and it will adjust supply to that. You can express, however a pump is never as efficient at extracting milk as a baby, so shouldn't be used as a measure of how much milk you're producing. Many women can nurse exclusively for years but are unable to pump even an ounce.

If you want to introduce a bottle of formula, and still keep up supply by pumping while they feed, that negates any benefit of doing it to get some rest. Many women find it easier to co sleep and nurse lying in bed during the night, and for their partners to help out by doing night changes and winding them etc. Remember that the night hours are your most productive for milk supply as well, so not feeding from the breast during those hours can adversely affect your supply.

All that being said, as a mother, you can only do what you feel is best for the health and well being of your baby and whatever you decide to do will be in their best interests.

Just know that you're not alone, and that so many other women are going through, and have gone through the exact same thing. Well done for making it this far!

Thank you very much for the time to give me the fab advice! I so so so desperately want to bf only.The contant feeding is so tiring but i can get through that and the soreness but feeling he is not getting enough and the fact he has gone down in those charts (4th ) and i feel so empty. At night time he is better as he dose go 2,3 even 4 hours without feed. Maybe that is why my supply isnt so good? maybe i need to feed more at night? Im just worried that if he dosnt start to put on some real weight it might stunt his growth or am i over sensitive so confused. Thank you though i am going to show my oh all these posts as he is ready to ff. xxx