All I can do is cry..[long]

[Miss_Quirky]

So OH came down this weekend to help me move furniture so we can setup the playpen/bassinet/crib thing we have for Devlin and move boxes under the house since I can't carry them, he asked me if a girl friend of his could come and help since I can't really help (the one I do NOT like, but told him I'd try to at least get along with her). I thought about it and said yes.

I asked mum if it was okay, and she asked why I don't like her and I said I don't have a reason, which I don't think is fair so I want to at least give us getting along a chance, and I trust OH would never cheat on me. She laughed in my face and told me he's probably already cheated on me with her anyway because men are "weak minded" -.-

She made me cry because I am insecure as it is and that doesn't help....over the weekend my stepdad told me four times that basically it seems like he doesn't want me and I should be jealous of her because she is a better "fit" for him anyway. Which made me cry pretty much all of Saturday and this morning. Then last night I went to ask if she could go to bed yet or if we should set up blankets in my room for her cause they had people over and she had been sleeping on the sofa. I got interrupted every time I tried to talk, so I shrugged and walked away. Stepdad flipped out and came in the house and called me a manipulative bitch and it's no wonder because I am just jealous of my boyfriend's "real girlfriend"...which isn't true and pissed me off.

I ended up crying all night, OH came in and held me for a little while and I told him what had been said to me and he got really hurt feelings, because he's tried really hard to help out around the house and he was insulted they think he'd cheat on me....It was just terrible. We talked....and I told him I trust him, but I am already fighting my insecurities and I needed a hug and to hear that he does wanna be with me...and he told me he doesn't want to be with ANYONE right now, because relationships are a pain in the ass....ultimately he said he wants to be with me when we can BE together and live together and he loves me a LOT but just doesn't want to be with anyone right now, there's too much stress (which I posted about a few weeks ago, not much has changed there).

He got a job with his stepdad flipping houses, he starts on tuesday. Which means we can afford to move sooner than later which is nice. They got offered a 4 bedroom house to rent if we can move in and split rent with them, only 300 a month for us. I think we can work through things.. Relationships have their whole own stress, especially since we are having a child and it's long distance right now. Things are always a lot better when we can see each other instead..On the same hand though, I don't know how to deal with any of this mentally. I still do trust him, and right now am trying to treat it like we arn't together for the next three weeks just so I can get it out of my damn head for a little while, I've done nothing but cry and bruise myself the last few days.

I think me and OH may be able to work things out, I do, but I just have not the slightest idea how to deal with any of it...

 

[Leopard]

I don't have any advice but I'll give you a hug

 

[lola_90]

I'm sorry sweetie

Just try and stay positive and convince yourself that he isn't cheating as if you think he is it makes it harder.

 

[Abby_]

Try not to worry about it, I know it's easier said than done!
Ignore the horrible comments, you trust your OH and that's all that matters.
Just try to relax and enjoy the last few weeks before LO is here. Then you guys can try and figure something out, but there is no rush.

 

[Lacuna]

Bruise yourself? Are you hurting yourself?

I'm so sorry things are so hard. I don't have any advice, but I hope at least getting things off your chest helped

 

[SusannLynnn]

not sure what to tell you but just try to focus on yourself and your LO.
If you trust him then thats all that matters

Hopefully you two can get a place together real soon

 

[MumToBe2012]

I don't know what to say but

 

[Miss_Quirky]

Thank you everyone. I just feel at such a loss..I don't quite understand where to begin about how I feel about this.

not sure what to tell you but just try to focus on yourself and your LO.
If you trust him then thats all that matters

Hopefully you two can get a place together real soon

Thankyou, I do trust him and I know he really does want to focus on school and doesn't need all this other stress right now..Just can't help it, my head keeps going through every possible bad scenario I am almost dreading him coming home in three weeks just because we are continuing to live with my parents for a few months to save up money >.>

 

[Miss_Quirky]

Bruise yourself? Are you hurting yourself?

I'm so sorry things are so hard. I don't have any advice, but I hope at least getting things off your chest helped

I have a history of SI, yes. I've done really well the last few months but not so much lately. Today I also realized that while I haven't been able to afford going to see my therapist in two months, after this month I can't afford my medications or any doctor's visits either.
The tags on my truck are up this month and I was told I have to pay it on my own since I'm 18 now (out of the blue, only a month prior to having to pay it) plus a parking ticket I have. I spent the very last $80 I had on stuff we needed for Devlin and gas.

Oi..if things keep going this badly then I am going to end up a single mum with a newborn, no job, and nowhere to stay. I am just hating life this week -.-

 

[ChesMik4eva]

I'm so sorry things are tough for you babe. You really deserve better to be honest. I know you're OH is 'stressed' but his excuse sounds a bit bullshit to me. Relationships are a 'pain in the ass' ?? Um, he is having a child with you and you are obviously having a hard time so I think he needs to man up a bit and be there for you. I keep reading these really sad posts from you and it's making me mad that he keeps you feeling so insecure by giving you these half assed answers about your relationship. I think he needs to either break it off and co-parent with you or suck it up and try to make it work. You deserve better than what he is giving you. He knows you don't like this girl and he still wants her of all people to help him move stuff? I don't understand.

I'm sorry if I'm coming across as harsh but I think you sound like a great girl who loves her OH and would do anything for him and he's not giving enough back. I really hope things get better for you and just remember you're going to be a great mum regardless of anything else. Don't take your focus off your little boy, you don't need any other stress.

 

[Miss_Quirky]

I'm so sorry things are tough for you babe. You really deserve better to be honest. I know you're OH is 'stressed' but his excuse sounds a bit bullshit to me. Relationships are a 'pain in the ass' ?? Um, he is having a child with you and you are obviously having a hard time so I think he needs to man up a bit and be there for you. I keep reading these really sad posts from you and it's making me mad that he keeps you feeling so insecure by giving you these half assed answers about your relationship. I think he needs to either break it off and co-parent with you or suck it up and try to make it work. You deserve better than what he is giving you. He knows you don't like this girl and he still wants her of all people to help him move stuff? I don't understand.

I'm sorry if I'm coming across as harsh but I think you sound like a great girl who loves her OH and would do anything for him and he's not giving enough back. I really hope things get better for you and just remember you're going to be a great mum regardless of anything else. Don't take your focus off your little boy, you don't need any other stress.

I don't understand why he brought her either...I am not the type of person to tell my boyfriend that he "can't" be friends with someone...but he knows, VERY clearly, how I feel and chooses to ignore it. Maybe it's because he was my best friend for five years before we got together, but I do want to try to make it work. Now it feels like we're dating, but not friends.

Thank you...I feel torn between feeling like I'm not doing enough and being upset that he ignores me a lot of the time...

 

[ChesMik4eva]

I'm so sorry things are tough for you babe. You really deserve better to be honest. I know you're OH is 'stressed' but his excuse sounds a bit bullshit to me. Relationships are a 'pain in the ass' ?? Um, he is having a child with you and you are obviously having a hard time so I think he needs to man up a bit and be there for you. I keep reading these really sad posts from you and it's making me mad that he keeps you feeling so insecure by giving you these half assed answers about your relationship. I think he needs to either break it off and co-parent with you or suck it up and try to make it work. You deserve better than what he is giving you. He knows you don't like this girl and he still wants her of all people to help him move stuff? I don't understand.

I'm sorry if I'm coming across as harsh but I think you sound like a great girl who loves her OH and would do anything for him and he's not giving enough back. I really hope things get better for you and just remember you're going to be a great mum regardless of anything else. Don't take your focus off your little boy, you don't need any other stress.

I don't understand why he brought her either...I am not the type of person to tell my boyfriend that he "can't" be friends with someone...but he knows, VERY clearly, how I feel and chooses to ignore it. Maybe it's because he was my best friend for five years before we got together, but I do want to try to make it work. Now it feels like we're dating, but not friends.

Thank you...I feel torn between feeling like I'm not doing enough and being upset that he ignores me a lot of the time...

The fact he didn't even care about how you feel just shows he's not giving you enough respect. I understand you don't want to tell him who he can be friends with but seeing as how you're PREGNANT and emotional, not to mention depressed he should accommodate you.

I don't understand how you're not doing enough? What are you not doing? You are about to give birth and I think this time in your life is when you get to be a little selfish and have HIM do things for you. Why is he ignoring you? He should be reassuring you as much as possible that he loves you and that he's there for you. Not just leaving you hanging and wondering what he's thinking. It's not healthy for you to feel like this, you should stand up to him and tell him it's not good enough. Just explain you want to be in a good head space for Devlin and don't want to carry on feeling like an emotional wreck.

Hope you work it out, I'm always here if you ever want to chat. Xx