Already terrified of tearing!!

[Sweetpea1010]

Hi ladies! I have a problem and I need some reassurance. I am absolutely terrified of tearing during birth. I'm petrified. I have no concerns about the length of the labor or the pain with the contractions, but tearing and recovery scares me. I tear a little when I have sex, and DH isn't particularly large which makes me believe that when I have this baby there isn't a chance that I won't have a horrific tear. Is there anyone else with this same fear or that bleeds with sex and didn't have a horrible tear? Thanks in advance!

 

[NDH]

There are things that can be done to minimize the risk of tearing - perineal massage, applying pressure to the perenium during pushing, not consciously pushing but rather"breathing the baby down", and giving birth on your hands and knees rather than on your back. I dont know where you live to be able to guess whether you'll be more likely to see a midwife or a doctor, but if you'll be seeing a midwife you can discuss your concerns with her and see what she advises.

 

[louisianagirl]

Are you planning a natural birth?

 

[Button#]

I was scared of this when I was pregnant with my first as well. That and having an episiotamy which I ended up with. During birth I didn't care and recovery wasn't wonderful but it wasn't too bad, I just had to sit on cushions for while.

 

[Mummy to be x]

I had an episiotomy with my first birth and at the time I really couldn't of cared less about it, I just wanted my baby out. The recovery was a little awful but it got easier with time and lots of extra care in that area.

Try and relax it's not all that bad

You could also maybe chat with your midwife or doctor about your fears and see what they say.

Best of luck x

 

[Sweetpea1010]

Thanks for the responses. I am planning a natural birth but not with a midwife. I'm not so much concerned about tearing or being cut during, it's the recovery. I've heard some horror stories from my friends.

 

[lillysmum26]

I had to get cut and it honestly isnt bad once youve been in labour for 12 hours in agonising pain a little tearing is nothing lol as long as you get baby out

 

[lillysmum26]

Oh also with recovery i forgot it was there until i had too poo was a little messy lol but apart from tht fine xx

 

[Perplexed]

I had an episiotomy...it was painful maybe the first week or less, it was fine after. I didn't stop bleeding till 8 wks pp therefore didn't attempt dtd till after that...first time was weird and painful so we didn't continue, but we tried again later on and it was fine. I wouldn't mind if I had an episiotomy again.

 

[Button#]

Recovery was really just a bit sore and uncomfortable if I'd say on my stitches too long. Certainly wasn't unbearable, more annoying if anything!

 

[coucou11]

This is definitely someting to talk to you doctor about! Have a birth plan and discuss it in depth with your doc (with the knowledge of course that it could all go out the window at the time). The reason I say this is because my doc and I talked a lot about it, and about keeping labor slow, and stretching during labor with her help, and I had only 3 stitches. Sorry if this gets TMI but she was super slow and used her fingers to just really slowly stretch me, and she helped me use contractions to guide the babies head down very slowly, and it worked out really well (this is even though my labor was pretty fast). So the doctor down there can really help you out in this regard by focuing on this issue!

That being said, sometimes things happen and you just have to prepare yourself that you could have a great plan and still end up with an episiotomy. Lots of women get them and recover just fine

Also, as other posters suggested, perineal massage is a good prep and I have read helps a lot.

Good luck!

 

[Mummy to be x]

Recovery was just very uncomfortable, I wouldn't say it was as bad as the labour itself.

As long as you take care of your wound then you'll be absolutely fine.

 

[kategirl]

I tore (not cut, just tore). Recovery was a little bit painful, but mostly only when I peed, lol! It wasn't the worst thing ever, and I would try not to worry about it.

 

[Radiance]

I'm not scared but that's because this is my eighth. My first I was scared of the whole birthing process. It was not as nearly bad as everyone said it was!! I had a 3rd degree episiotomy with my first. The first urine was the most painful and next few days. Sex was painful at first as well. I had a small tear from my 2nd, which obviously was nothing compared to my third degree. Healing was good.

 

[NDH]

I had a second degree tear after my first. I didn't even notice the stitches going in, and in was a bit numb and tender for a few days but it wasn't too bad at all. Pads soaked in witch hazel helped the healing process a lot. Sitting on soft cushions is a must, and squirting a water bottle down there when you pee helps take away the sting. Within a week I was feeling back to normal. I had a minor graze the second time and the difference was amazing though I must say. Obviously better if you manage not to tear, but its obviously not always avoidable

 

[hobbnob]

I tore with my first baby. It was a 3rd degree tear which is pretty bad. I was also very fearful of this happening prior, but I was so out of it during labor I didn't care and the recovery was not that big of a deal at all. I don't even remember it being that uncomfortable. Honestly, I was so busy taking care of my little one that I hardly had time to think about my own discomfort.

 

[beagleowner]

I tore when I had my (9lb 7oz) daughter. Really couldn't have cared less and never noticed any pain from it. I did have a hemorrhoid afterward which caused me to have a little pain sitting for a couple of days, but that was the worst of it. Slight stingy feeling when peeing. Honestly....it was nothing. I needed three stitches and never noticed that, either. You'll be totally fine.

 

[Tattoo]

I had a second degree tear after my daughter's birth. The visiting midwife afterwards told me it probably would have been worse, given my big baby (she was 9lb 10oz) and fast delivery (20 minutes pushing!), if I hadn't had a waterbirth and been doing perineal massage. It really does make a difference! Tearing really isn't that bad. It's definitely not fun, but the absolute worst bit is getting stitched up, and that's soon over. I don't have any basis for comparison, but I can't imagine recovery is that much worse than after a regular vaginal birth which required no stitches. Washing my stitches with warm water, and taking paracetamol regularly kept me about as comfortable as can be expected, after squeezing a human out of your body!

 

[JenStar1976]

Check this out: https://www.epi-no.co.uk

 

[CamoQueen]

Honestly, try not to worry. I tore the tiniest amount with my first (had maybe a stitch or two), and not at all with my second. And they were fast labors, too, with the second child coming out in only two pushes. The vagina is extremely elastic.