Alternatives to letting baby cry

[crackle]

Posted this in baby club but just thought maybe it would be better here?

Hi ladies!
Bit of background first - my lo is nearly 5 and a half months, breastfed and we cosleep. For a long time he only woke once or twice a night but for about 6 weeks now it has pretty much been every hour. He also naps very little during the day, once for maybe 90 mins on a good day. I'm shattered which I can deal with for now but not when I go back to work full time. More importantly I'm worried it's not good for him to be having such disturbed sleep.
Whilst I'm sure it works for many people I'm just not prepared to let my baby cry. Has anyone got any success stories of getting lo to sleep longer and also move into own bed? DH currently in another room so cosleeping is safer, can't carry on like that for much longer.
Thanks in advance x

 

[Eala]

What about a variation of the method some call "Pick up, put down"? So when baby is upset, you pick them up and comfort them, but as soon as they are calm again, you lay them down (in their own cot, if you want) to go to sleep.

Does your LO have a comforter or anything? I mean, if he is used to sleeping with you, perhaps if you gave him a muslin cloth (something safe to chew) that smells of you, it'll help him make the transition to his own bed?

 

[sahara]

No advice I am afraid, but I feel your pain as I am going through same thing. 4 hours sleep last night between 10.30 and 7 is not good

 

[xerinx]

Im quite lucky up untill about 4 months logan would only fall asleep on us and nap downstairs but we slowly introduced naps in his cot by putting him in it and i would stay near him and he eventually went to sleep by himself! We now just put him in the cot and he goes to sleep straight away!

Our key was to work out when he was tired but before he was exhusted if that makes sense? As soon as we see he is tired we put him in his cot and he goes sleep but if we leave him untill he is over tired he will refuse to sleep and i get a grumpy miserable lil boy all day long!!

So maybe try to look for his cues and adapt things around them?

 

[mandarhino]

Sorry I don't really have any advice because I never cracked this. It was a hellish period and you have my deepest sympathies. It is just a phase and he will grow out of it at some point.

Maybe pick some times where he was fed recently and try cuddling back to sleep to see if he'll accept it. May see some improvements if you stick to a set pattern for times when feeds are offered - stretching him out. Must admit I just offered the boob every time as it got both of us back to sleep quicker.

My daughter (now 15 months) hit the 14 week sleep regression with a vengeance and took quite a while to grow out of it. She eventually started sleeping longer and longer by herself. When she was a bit older - 8/9 monthish (it's a blur) - and I was sure she didn't require feeding every time she woke up, I got my husband to tackle some of the wakings and set times for when I would feed her.

Things have backslid at various times - teething, learning to walk - which sent her sleep bonkers agin. I've just night weened again using the Dr Jay Gordon method - though I think your little one is too young for this method.

What helped me was accepting that I had a terrible sleeper. Though I think I would have been despondent when she was 5 months old - previous to the 14 week sleep regression she was actually a reasonable sleeper waking 2 times a night on average. Some babies are good sleepers, some are not. I am just unlucky.

You will also be amazed how you can carry on despite your exhaustion. I've been back at work for several months and do a job that requires a lot of decision making, drafting papers, etc. I'm coping pretty good. I won't be exhausted for ever.

My daughter is also a super confident and happy little girl. Not sure if that is totally down to me always responding to her or just her personality but for the sake of my sanity and all those nights of broken sleep, I'm going to go with the former.

Sorry that's quite a ramble. Sleep and lack of it occupies quite a lot of my mind these days! It will get better for you, it is just a phase.

 

[DueMarch2nd]

Well, this may help but remember all babies are different so your LO just needs to do things in his own time. Crying it out is a method that trains LO to do things in YOUR time, not his. My son, Hunter is the same age as your LO. Here is my story lately:

Hunter has recently started to crawl. So since I co sleep (hubby works nights so he isnt in bed with us)i have had pillows at his feet and of course he sleeps next to the bed rail and then i sleep close because he crawled backward off the end of the bed a few weeks age So I thought "this isnt fair to him" So I brought his cot next to our bed on my side, removed the bed rail from my bed and removed the drop side on his cot and pushed the cot right up to the bed and against a wall so it cant move. So I thought he needs more room, and he does! So I put him in his cot just next to me and i have more room and so does he. Well, the benefits were more than just more space, but because he wasnt sleeping right next to me where he could smell the milk, he didnt root around as many times to have a feed. He is now down to like 2 times a night which is far better than ever before. I think with co sleeping and breasfeeding, they tend to root in their sleep for boob naturally but if they dont smeel it and arent brushing against your tshirt, they will only wake when hungry (or for some other need) Sometimes, they just wake for comfort boob which is fine if they want it but if you are the one causing the problem by smelling of lovely milk, its a bit of an issue if you are both having disturbed sleep. So maybe try to slowly transition LO out of your bed that way (i plan on letting him sleep there until he gets a proper bed in his own room as its easier for me) so if your LO likes that and responds well, you can then put the side on then move him to the hall then to his room etc. If he needs a gradual change. Another thing that may help is if he wakes, try rocking him back to sleep or patting him instead of feeding him straight away and see if he is hungry or just needing reassurance. Sometimes night feeds can be a habit instead of a need but if he needs it, dot deny it I hope something works for you, I am fine with our situation because i dont have to work but i can see your problem

HTH

 

[crackle]

Just wanted to say a huge thank you to all that replied. I really appreciate the time people have taken to respond to my post in such detail. Will take on board all the advice and try the suggestions but more than that it's so reassuring to know that it's not just me!
Thanks again! X

 

[rainyday]

Hi, we went through the sleep regression for about 6 weeks and things seem to be q bit on the up at the moment. The end point of LO's hourly waking was a front tooth! To help him feed better rather than hourly snacking my OH agreed to settle him during the night and only bring him to me at approx four hourly intervals or if he
looked hungry. We started this at a weekend when OH wasn't at work, and it meant that LO was taking a really good feed when I fed him, the going back into a good sleep.
Hope that things get better soon, xxx