Am I a bad mommy for not getting AFP test??

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Wishfullmama, Jan 27, 2011.

  1. Wishfullmama

    Wishfullmama Well-Known Member

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    Well I went to my apt yesterday, and they offered me the AFP/Quad test, pluse the CF screening as well, and I declined to get the CF test done as I know I am not a carrier. I do not want to get the AFP test either, as I know it will not change my mind at all about this baby, this baby will be accepted no matter what the test says and I will manage anything the baby does have (if the babe had anything wrong ofc).

    Am I making the right decision? I feel kind of guilty like I should be getting the darn test, I did with my other two, and they turned out just fine, so I dont see the need on getting another :shrug:

    Had to show off the recent scan of bean as well! :blush: Hopefully find out gender in 4 weeks but OB said it looks like I might be having a another boy! :happydance::happydance: Made my day to hear that!!!!!!!!
     

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  2. mommyof3co

    mommyof3co Mommy of 4 amazing boys!

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    I don't think you should feel guilty at all! I declined it last pregnancy and this one as well. Actually this time I'm doing no testing at all, I did my initial blood work so they could make sure I wasn't anemic and get my blood type, all of that, but no testing and will not have another blood draw the rest of the pregnancy.
     
  3. Purple_poppy

    Purple_poppy Well-Known Member

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    Feel guilty why? This baby is the baby you're meant to have now - a test won't change that. The test, for you will provide no useful information... so why waste the time and money :)

    Best wishes.
     
  4. Vickie

    Vickie Hannah & Rhys <3

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    I think it's up to you as to whether or not you get the tests done, I declined them all :)
     
  5. MissMandieMitz

    MissMandieMitz Mommy of 2 :)

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    Nope! We didn't get it done either and DH and I thought it just causes unnecessary worry and we're keeping her anyways.... so there was no point. :thumbup: You should NOT feel guilty at all.
     
  6. Wishfullmama

    Wishfullmama Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for the responses! :hugs:
    I guess I feel guilty because of course, people are going to have their own opinions and thoughts on it all, perfect example being a friend of mine. She thinks the test would help prepare me just in case babe had down syndrome or anything else. It just puts that doubt in my head, the what if thought. I just know, whatever the test would say, the baby would be loved and accepted regardless, and we would deal with whatever we were handed, but it put that doubt in, and when the nurse asked me if I wanted the quad test, I asked her if I could think about it since I am not sure I want it, and she gave me the eye.... so of course it has been in my head since yesterday :haha: but it does make me feel better knowing I am not the only one who feels its an uneccesary test and not to feel guilty....so deep breathe taken and guiltiness is going out the window! :flower:
     
  7. 4sndsgrt

    4sndsgrt mommy of 2 and expecting

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    I felt a little bit like you at first when I declined the tests, but now I don't. I will have this baby no matter what.:hug:
     
  8. salander

    salander Well-Known Member

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    You've nothing to be guilty about. I was in two minds whether to get the test as I didn't want to worry myself....i'm fully expecting a higher risk due to my age anyway (35) and if i do then i wont be having cvs done but as my fella said get it done and then it'll put our mind at rest when it doesn't come back higher.....Anyway i ended up getting the quad test done on tuesday but as i said not going to change anything so i honestly don't know why i got it done :)
     
  9. butterfly25

    butterfly25 Mom of 2 and tyring for 3

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    I declined mine too...my doctor made feel good that not all women choose to have it. I have two other children who I did do the test and they are fine. I did genetic counceling and I have no markers so I declined the test this time...

    I know no matter what we will keep the baby so what will the test change? Nothing!!!

    Don't feel guilty...:) you had perfectly good reasons.
     
  10. ess

    ess Guest

    I feel the opposite- I feel like a bad mum for getting the tests- I didn't even realise i could opt out! My MIL said that she never got the tests done because she wouldn't have terminated a pregnancy because of Downs- neither would I (not that I judge others who would) but now I feel like it was bad to even get them- you can't win!
     
  11. kazb25

    kazb25 Well-Known Member

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    i have declined all tests other than blood works as to me i will love my baby no matter what so it makes no difference to me and plus id rather not know i want to enjoy my pregnancy and what will be will be, i know loads of ppl who refused tests so dont feel bad
     
  12. ttcfirstbb

    ttcfirstbb Proud mommy n wife

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    I didn't know you could opt out either or I probably would have. Just got my results back yesterday with a 1 in 98 chance of downs. We've decided not to get any further tests done and leave all in the hands of God, either way whatever happens we will love and take care of this baby. But am praying and hoping baby will be happy & healthy.

    These tests just cause unnecessary worry IMO.
     
  13. Plunky

    Plunky Well-Known Member

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    as if! you love and accept this baby no matter what!! Not going to try and delete him/her out of your life because he/she might not be perfect?? Sounds to me like you might just be the best mom in the world already!
     

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