Am i been unreasonable with OH?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by emily3399, Nov 20, 2011.

  1. emily3399

    emily3399 3 dd's expecting #4:)

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    Well things havent been great recently between us at the begining he was doubting if he wanted to be together but then apologized and the water went under the bridge things picked up but just gone down hill again since he started looking into buying a new business. He doesnt want sex anymore i practically have to beg him which makes me feel most unattractive anyway :( and bearing in mind my ex husband cheated on me when i was 5 months pregnant with my dd i am very paranoid to say the least.

    Then he starts to look into buying a hand carwash business so every weekend or day off work he has he is there and it drove me crazy that he just doesnt even seem interested in been with us on his days off. This also got me worried he was seeing another woman he swore he wasnt and never would but something just doesnt feel right. Anyway he took me to look at the car wash yesterday to prove he wasnt making it up but its absolutely miles away at least 40miles to be exact and he expects to travel everyday there and back when we have a baby due in feb so now im not happy with it been so far away if there was ever an emergency he wouldnt be able to get back in time.

    Do i just sound like a nagging partner or am i been reasonable?
     
  2. tinks80

    tinks80 Well-Known Member

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    You should definately be able to voice your feelings and opinions & if oh loved you he would take these into consideration,

    The business is something you guys should be talking about together as. Couple as a family & he needs to be able to allow family time or a day each week to stay at home and spend time together with you guys,

    I'm in the same psotion with my oh, we have just got into business together but it was jointly, we spoke and made decisions & he spends every Sunday at home with us doing relaxing family things after being at work for 12hours 6days
     
  3. shinona

    shinona Well-Known Member

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    It sounds as though he is trying to do the best for his family by building a business and an income so he can look after you all. I do agree that you should be involved in such a big decision but sometime men can be funny about being The Provider, can't they?

    Rather than nagging him, I'd sit down and explain your concerns about the project, not in a judgemental way but just so he knows what you are worried about. MAybe he's thought of those things already and has answers or solutions.

    To me though, 40 miles is not that far away - won't it only be about an hour's drive, if that?

    x
     
  4. emily3399

    emily3399 3 dd's expecting #4:)

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    Yes thats exactly it there has to be some compromis, but with him there isnt and after going yesterday the business isnt exactly booming infact it was really kind of slow. I just dont understand why he would spend so much money on something absolutely miles away from our home that isnt really doing that well. He is just desperate to buy a business and ive told him to just wait dont buy the first thing you see just because you want to own your own business but he just doesnt listen to me its like i may aswell be invisible. Sometimes i just feel like im constantly nagging but then again i think hes just trying to secure a future but its just not the right one i am literally banging my head against a brick wall trying to talk to him about it and its driving us apart even more with everything else weve got going on :(
     
  5. emily3399

    emily3399 3 dd's expecting #4:)

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    Yes it is an hour away but down a motorway and then out in the sticks slightly, but what im struggling to understand is that Leeds is about 20 minutes from our house a major city and hes just in a rush to buy the first thing he sees. I also totally see what your saying about men and being the provider maybe i am been a bit heavy on him with everything else thats going on too maybe il just back off a little and see if it helps.
     
  6. shinona

    shinona Well-Known Member

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    It doesn't sound like the best idea the way you describe it. Can he maybe see the potential in it though? If it's not booming maybe he'll get it for a good price, be able to build it up and then sell it for something closer to home.

    The other thing you could do is look for something closer by yourself that might be more suitable and drop it into conversation.

    xx
     

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