Am I having another missed miscarriage? No mollycoddling needed, just honesty please

[Mamamumum]

Hi,
So this is my 4th pregnancy, I should be 5wks. With my sons pregnancy I had horrendous MS, up to nearly 30wks. Then in 2015 I had a missed miscarriage. Some people don't believe me but I absolutely knew. From the moment I got my BFP I knew the pregnancy would not be successful. I was scared, emotionally detached from the pregnancy, not even a tiny bit excited and I had an overwhelming sense of impending doom. As time went on I researched miscarriages, found out about miscarriages and decided what treatment option I wanted. I knew. Well, we found out at what should have been the 12wk scan that we'd lost the baby at around 7wks. The only symptoms I had had in that time was cramping and some snagging/twingey/pulling pains on my left side around 7wks when I'd lost the baby.

I went on to conceive our daughter directly after that and had a perfectly healthy pregnancy. Again, MS from very early on, continuing up until around 24wks. And now this pregnancy. I should be 5wks, and I don't have a single symptom again. I haven't told anybody yet, not even my partner because I have that "what's the point" feeling like I had last time.

Has anybody else experienced this? And what was the outcome for you? I've tried looking for statistics around the likelihood of having repeated missed miscarriages. I wondered if maybe some womens bodies just don't miscarry naturally and only ever have missed miscarriages but I can't find anything about it. I don't know what to do.

 

[Take2]

My symptoms seemed to start later with each pregnancy, my first pregnancy I was really sick with MS from 6 weeks, with baby no.3 it didn't start until 8 weeks, prior to that I didn't have any symptoms

 

[minties]

I am not into mollycoddling. I really think it is too soon to tell. I've had several losses, and 3 successful pregnancies - all have varied with timing and intensities of symptoms. Emma is the only one I had real morning sickness with (was medicated, and went on a drip at 7 weeks).

My first pregnancy I had mega sore boobs, metallic taste in the mouth, morning sickness, the works really. The baby died about 8 weeks in (missed miscarriage).

With Thomas I had nothing, no symptoms. I also bled a lot, like a period, between about 4 and 5 weeks so presumed I had lost him but all was fine. Had no idea I was pregnant until I took a test because I found one that was gonna expire. Only found out how far along I was at a scan at 5+4.

With Sophie I had mild nausea from 6.5 weeks.

 

[IchigoMewMew]

My sister in law had HG with both her successful pregnancies and no symptoms with her mmc. She said she knew something was up in hindsight. But I also know people who had healthy pregnancies with no sickness. Hope everything turns out ok for you

 

[Mamamumum]

Thanks everyone. I guess I know nobody can tell me one way or the other. I just wish they could :/ I'm too scared to tell anybody. I haven't booked in with the mw yet or anything. I just don't want to think about it. I keep cramping on and off as well which doesn't help the worrying.

 

[Mum_bear]

Sorry for your loss, I'd suggest going to you GP after the weekend and explaining your previous mmc and asking for an early scan with the EPU. With your history they'll probably scan you soon and then at least you'd know. xx

 

[laura109]

I think its early days and nausea etc could kick in soon. I understand your fears as i had 3 days of early spotting followed by a scan at 5 weeks 6 days. We saw a heartbeat and the dr was very reassuring. I still feel yucky and drained but until the 12 week scan i am not confident. I wish you a healthy pregnancy and i hope you get some reassurance soon x

 

[MEPride]

I had absolutely NO symptoms with this pregnancy. No nausea, MS, fatigue, headaches, boob tenderness. NOTHING. To the point I didn't believe I was pregnant. No period, but that's not too unusual for me as I have PCOS.

I am 22 weeks with a perfectly healthy baby girl. Still no symptoms, but definitely a bump and kicking!!

Point is, every pregnancy is different, even with the same woman. I wouldn't write it off just yet but to just be as patient as possible and with understanding that if you do have a mmc, there is nothing that you have done wrong.

Chances of having a mmc are 1%. Having multiple mmc is even less. You never know.... I always say trust your instincts, but you just never know....

Good luck

 

[annio84]

It is early days yet.

I had a mmc in January and as you said, I knew it wasn't going to work out from early on. Even after having my 12 week scan (baby was alive at 11+5) I still didn't believe it was going to work out. I had every symptom with that pregnancy though and this current pregnancy they've really only just kicked in the last few days. Symptoms or eve lack of don't really prove anything one way or another.

I really hope that this pregnancy works out for you and as others said I think it's reasonable to go ask your gp or EPAU for an early scan.

 

[Mamamumum]

Thanks everyone. I think for the time being all I can do is wait and hope. A scan at this point probably wouldn't do much to reassure me anyway.
I don't know what I'd do without these forums to air these worries to all of you lovely ladies who actually understand xx

 

[laura109]

Its awful isnt. You worry about getting pregnant. Then it happens you worry about bleeding. If you dont bleed you worry about mmc. I think most women can agree the first trimester is hard to enjoy for one reason or another. Its all feeling rubbish and fearing mc. We must all try to remember how great things get when we get a few more weeks along. I have to say the last 5 weeks have been the longest, boring, stressful weeks of my life. I miss feeling like me. I hope you are feeling a little better. If they are as rare as they say then the chance of you having another is very unlikely x

 

[pinkpassion]

I had 2 mmc and like you I just knew. I had a feeling of doom. With this pregnancy I also had no symptoms, I didn't necessarily have a bad feeling but I did often question the viability of this pregnancy. Even now, I can't feel baby movements much if any *when both of my healthy pregnancies I felt from early on*, I still have no symptoms, never got sick once, nothing. I still sometimes am in disbelief that there's a baby in there but every night I hear the heartbeat trotting away in there and every ultrasound has shown a healthy strong baby! So, it is possible to have mmc and still have a weird pregnancy thrown in and everything be ok!

 

[Mamamumum]

The longer this goes on the more I feel this sense of impending doom and hopelessness. I still haven't even told my OH. I don't like "lying" to him but I almost feel as if it would be a worse lie to tell him I'm pregnant because... I don't think I *am*. Not really. I keep thinking, "I need to tell him before it ends". Part of me waiting and hoping for some kind of a symptom to come along to reassure me. To tell me actually this IS going to be ok. But I keep thinking I'm bleeding. I'm still cramping. Still getting sharp pains low down. I feel empty. I don't have that feeling of responsibility towards anothers life like I have done with my healthy babies. If it wasn't for the lack of a period I wouldn't have a clue I was pregnant. Sorry for such a horribly negative post. I just want it all to be now. And not knowing how long I may have to wait to properly find out is so hard. Another 6wks of this. My body held onto the last baby for almost 7wks after the heart stopped beating. It took 2 lots of medical management to finally force my body to let go. I'm so sorry. I know this isn't what you lovely ladies want to read. I just have nowhere else to turn.

 

[pinkpassion]

Can you call your Dr and tell them you'd like a reassurance scan with your history? I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I think you should tell your partner because they could help you carry the load!

 

[xxmyheartxx]

I second what pink has said, your Dr should arrange a scan for you at epu, these early weeks are so hard xx

 

[Marriedlaydee]

I really think u need to tell your partner and get a scan. I know u say a scan won't help and i 100% get that as I feel the same right now. But you'll make yourself ill worrying and ignoring this. Every woman has a chance of a healthy baby and this could be another one for You!

 

[Mamamumum]

I don't see the point in trying to get a scan now. As I had this feeling with my mmc from the day I got my bfp but nothing actually went wrong until 7wks. So seeing a hb at 7wks, or 8wks etc wouldn't be of any help to me because I would just know that whatever I'm anticipating just hasn't "happened" yet. I will tell me partner though. But he most likely will just tell me I'm being silly like he did last time. Thing is I don't find it reassuring, I just find it belittling of what I'm feeling though I know that's not how it's meant. This is so horrible

 

[xxmyheartxx]

Unfortunately I don't think you can ever shake the feeling of something bad happening once you have experienced a loss, it's our way of trying to protect ourselves from getting hurt again, being pregnant now after 4 consecutive losses my head is completely buried in the sand even though I should try to enjoy the pregnancy.
Do tell your oh, I know my hubby would be upset if i didn't tell him as he would want to be there to support me x

 

[laura109]

Ive only had chemical losses but i still worry about the small chance of a mmc. I mean it is a pretty terrifying thought that you go to your scan expecting pictures of your baby and getting told the last 3 months has been unsuccessful. It has to be one of the worst experiences a women can have. Thankfully its rare. I can gear babies hb on a doppler for the last week and that is really helping me relax x

 

[Lab Scientist]

taking progesterone to make the pregnancy stable is one of the solutions.
another solution is to frequently scan, heartbeat, and testing for HCG hormone.