jade1991
Millies mummy :)
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2011
- Messages
- 1,486
- Reaction score
- 0
Hi everyone.. sorry this may be quite a long post.
Basically I am currently pregnant with my OH been together 2 years, we thought he couldn't have children planned to have ivf later this year once he'd met my daughter etc however we've had a surprise. So he has met her a few times but only in large social situations and obviously now we will have to move in later this year. Which is fine, I know if he made the effort he will be great with her as he has been previously. However his ex had children and he always said how much he hated being at home with them and doing things for them etc as they weren't his... he says this isn't the case with my daughter but, he's making no effort to ask about her, learn about her, attempt to meet her. I feel like she's a back burner and she will be my priority and mine alone to look after.
I was talking to him tonight just saying how tired I am after working full time and obviously getting up taking her to school working all day picking her up from child minder home, tea, bath, bed and by this time it's 8 o'clock and I'm shattered, I said when she's at her dad's and I'm at his it's like another world and he said 'oh well not for long it's gunna be shit for you when you live here then'.... I replied well no, because I won't be on my own will I? And he went 'mmm'.. so I just said right I've gotta go now speak to you tomorrow.. because that really upset me. Normally he's really reassuring about Millie, but I just feel like we really need to air our concerns before it's too late.
I've spent the last half hour crying thinking what have I done, I don't think he realises how much I am going to be giving up to have his baby and leave the life I currently have. I know it's his house and his life is going to change massively too, but I need to protect my daughter and I'm scared I've messed everything up and I just feel an overwhelming guilt for my little girl, my baby! 😭
I just want to add that my daughter's father was emotionally abusive and I have insecurities stemming from that of course. And I know what it's like bringing up someone else's child I did with my ex's son. But my OH now aside from this is wonderful, caring, loving, complimenting, cares about me so much, he would do anything for me. But... I don't know 😔 I just feel terrible...
I'm not really sure what I'm looking for anyone to say really... just felt I needed to get this out 😔
Basically I am currently pregnant with my OH been together 2 years, we thought he couldn't have children planned to have ivf later this year once he'd met my daughter etc however we've had a surprise. So he has met her a few times but only in large social situations and obviously now we will have to move in later this year. Which is fine, I know if he made the effort he will be great with her as he has been previously. However his ex had children and he always said how much he hated being at home with them and doing things for them etc as they weren't his... he says this isn't the case with my daughter but, he's making no effort to ask about her, learn about her, attempt to meet her. I feel like she's a back burner and she will be my priority and mine alone to look after.
I was talking to him tonight just saying how tired I am after working full time and obviously getting up taking her to school working all day picking her up from child minder home, tea, bath, bed and by this time it's 8 o'clock and I'm shattered, I said when she's at her dad's and I'm at his it's like another world and he said 'oh well not for long it's gunna be shit for you when you live here then'.... I replied well no, because I won't be on my own will I? And he went 'mmm'.. so I just said right I've gotta go now speak to you tomorrow.. because that really upset me. Normally he's really reassuring about Millie, but I just feel like we really need to air our concerns before it's too late.
I've spent the last half hour crying thinking what have I done, I don't think he realises how much I am going to be giving up to have his baby and leave the life I currently have. I know it's his house and his life is going to change massively too, but I need to protect my daughter and I'm scared I've messed everything up and I just feel an overwhelming guilt for my little girl, my baby! 😭
I just want to add that my daughter's father was emotionally abusive and I have insecurities stemming from that of course. And I know what it's like bringing up someone else's child I did with my ex's son. But my OH now aside from this is wonderful, caring, loving, complimenting, cares about me so much, he would do anything for me. But... I don't know 😔 I just feel terrible...
I'm not really sure what I'm looking for anyone to say really... just felt I needed to get this out 😔