am i just being selfish now??

[Emz_number3]

hi ladies,

hope u and your LO`s are all doing good.

so here is the story, basically my OH is leaving his job after being there 6 years to go into a better job next week..

so this friday being his last day he has arranged to go out with all his work friends...he will go work friday and go straight out, so i will be on my own with 3 children all day and night, as im guessing he wont be home till around 3-4am the next day.

i said to him ermm wheres my invite?? he said partners dont come to work do`s. i said no thats just the xmas work party, this is your leaving party so i thought id be allowed to come????

well his face didnt look impressed, so i just said fine, just would of been nice to invited to my husbands leaving party.

should i be angry or am i being selfish and shouldnt expect to go as its his work mates..may i add his work friends are both male and female.

i think im more worried as obviously sex has not happened as just given birth and he understands this, but i can tell hes getting desperate...just wodering if boozing and not having sex in a while is not a good mix?

 

[stardust599]

You have every right to be angry. He's leaving you with 2 young children and a newborn to go out and get drunk? He needs to get his priorities right hun!!

What's wrong with him going for a meal afterwork and a pint then coming home to help you with your children and newborn baby.

I'd be fuming!! xx

 

[Foogirl]

Do you go to any other work nights out with him? If not, I can see why he wouldn't think to ask.

Does he go out often?

I'd be happy to let him go TBH. I've never been to my OHs works nights out, not that he has many. Are you bothered that he is going out, or that he didn't invite you?

Why not suggest to him that you have a night out in a few weeks?

I'd also be concerned that you think because you haven't had sex recently, you think he will go looking for it elsewhere. That is worrying to me.

 

[lilyanne]

I personally wouldn't be upset at all. It's a one time thing to say good bye to his work buddies.

 

[lilyanne]

Do you go to any other work nights out with him? If not, I can see why he wouldn't think to ask.

Does he go out often?

I'd be happy to let him go TBH. I've never been to my OHs works nights out, not that he has many. Are you bothered that he is going out, or that he didn't invite you?

Why not suggest to him that you have a night out in a few weeks?

I'd also be concerned that you think because you haven't had sex recently, you think he will go looking for it elsewhere. That is worrying to me.

I agree

 

[Angela49uk]

I think it is a bit selfish - sorry!

It's a chance for him to say goodbye to his work colleagues (as you said he's worked there 6 years!)

Also, as mentioned above, it is a bit concerning you think he may look elsewhere for sex.

 

[tina3747]

I wouldn't be bothered tbh.. You need to live with my husband you'd be grateful that it's just one night out!!
And would you really want to be out with a load of work people anyway, be my idea of hell... I can't see your missing out on much! It's not abnormal to have feelings like you have As in the sex stuff... Alot of women feel like that after a baby. Hormones ,tiredness and low self esteem is common don't think it's that unusual.
I'd just tell him to have a fab night out, grit your teeth and get through the day and night then tell him he's having the kiddies the next day for a few hours. Just a trip round the shops or go see family or friends. A nice evening out in a few weeks with friends or just the 2 of you is also a good idea!
I really don't get it when it gets peoples backs up when the OH go out especially when it's not a common occourance?! You don't have to lock each other to your house and children to be a good partner or parent!!

 

[Foogirl]

You don't have to lock each other to your house and children to be a good partner or parent!!

I agree. There was a comment earlier about priorities. I don't think taking a night off means he hasn't got his priorities right. Having two parents in a home will sometimes means there are times one parent will be alone with the children. Sure doing a whole day and whole night alone can be stressful, but it'd it isn't happening all the time, I don't think it's bad. Dads do need time out too. If mum isn't getting that timeout, that needs to be dealt with too, if she wants it. But having a family doesn't mean that all other life stops.

 

[Emz_number3]

thanks for all your comments ladies, after having a moan on here and having a think and reading what you have all put, iv calmed down and realised that it isnt such a big deal and i am being stupid.

i think iwas just panicing

 

[Ozzieshunni]

When my DH had his leaving do, I came for an hour with Alex and then left to take him home. I don't think you're being selfish. I also don't get the sex comments. DH and I have had sex maybe twice since Alex was born. Doesn't mean I think he's getting it elsewhere! I think OP was upset about being left with three young children and then having a drunk/hungover DH to deal with the next day!

 

[Foogirl]

thanks for all your comments ladies, after having a moan on here and having a think and reading what you have all put, iv calmed down and realised that it isnt such a big deal and i am being stupid.

i think iwas just panicing

Blame the hormones!

Glad you feel better

 

[patch2006uk]

I wouldn't be impressed being left with 3 children, one of whom is 2 weeks old, so OH could go get drunk. I don't think you are being unreasonable really hun, but if you've decides you're happy for him to go, then no worries.

I agree about not being tied to the house to be a good parent, but leaving a 2 week old just wouldn't sit right with me

 

[aliss]

Normally I would say it is really no big deal that he goes out, but the baby is only 2 weeks old and I don't know, my baby was awake screaming all night at 2 weeks and I was hobbling around in stitches. I wouldn't appreciate my OH leaving me at home alone like that especially with 2 other children to care for.

My OH did leave his job too and went out drinking came home shitfaced when Alex was only a few months old, I had no problem with that at all, but 2 weeks IMO is a little too soon iykwim??

 

[Foogirl]

I agree the timing sucks, but it is his leaving do, timing can't be helped really.

 

[patch2006uk]

But he doesn't need to stay out till 3/4am! He can go out after work and come home at a sensible time too!

 

[Foogirl]

But he doesn't need to stay out till 3/4am! He can go out after work and come home at a sensible time too!

Hmm, rolling in at 3am when I'm asleep, or turning up pissed at 11pm when I'm not. Not sure which is worse!

 

[patch2006uk]

But he doesn't need to stay out till 3/4am! He can go out after work and come home at a sensible time too!

Hmm, rolling in at 3am when I'm asleep, or turning up pissed at 11pm when I'm not. Not sure which is worse!

You were asleep at 3am with a 2 week old baby? *jealous*

 

[Ozzieshunni]

^^

 

[Foogirl]

But he doesn't need to stay out till 3/4am! He can go out after work and come home at a sensible time too!

Hmm, rolling in at 3am when I'm asleep, or turning up pissed at 11pm when I'm not. Not sure which is worse!

You were asleep at 3am with a 2 week old baby? *jealous*

Actually yes. She was still in hospital.....

But once she was home, 3am was between feeds. 2am or 5am I'd have been up.

 

[Mindy_mini]

I think you're being unreasonable tbh

Works work. He is leavin his job and won't see some of these friends again. I dont think he's askin the earth to want a last night out with them on this own