Am I justified or being irrational?

[Ashley1021]

My husbands company is throwing a company dinner at a fancy resturant and renting out hotel rooms for everyone since they hit their sales goal. It will be on Valentine's day. My little guy will be just shy of five months. I've never left him overnight, and the only person I would trust is my mom, who will be in Mexico. My fiancé said his co worker who won't be attending the party because he works In a different region and his wife are more than happy to take him. My instant answer was no, because I've met him once and don't really know them. Let alone owen hasn't ever interacted with them. He lost it, saying I'm unreasonable because he trusts them and I can't shelter him forever.. So, what would you do?

 

[JenX]

I think you have to do what you are comfortable with. I wouldn't have been able to do that- still wouldn't even now at almost 20 months. But for some people it would be a reasonable option. Could you just go to the dinner and not stay out overnight? Could a friend watch him for just the evening? If it makes you uncomfortable it won't be fun anyway and defeats the purpose of going.

 

[ButterCup17]

No way I'd leave my lo, esp at that age, with someone I barely knew!

 

[staralfur]

Not a chance.

 

[Ashley1021]

He keeps saying I'm being irrational and it would be nice to spend a night alone. I suggested coming home after dinner, and he said he's staying with or without me.

 

[MommyJogger]

Nope. I love how being cautious with a completely helpless infant was equated to wanting to shelter him "forever" and you were called the unreasonable one.

 

[MommyJogger]

I still wouldn't leave my 2yo overnight with someone he didn't know and he's capable of saying "(this person) hurt me". That's disrespectful to the child. Perhaps the idea of a night alone got him wanting one-- maybe compromise and plan one for when your mom is back? (If you're comfortable with it.)

 

[Ashley1021]

That's a pretty good suggestion. I think he's also excited to drink with his co workers and have a good time as well. But if I left him with them, I'd end up leaving and picking him up anyways. He says I should trust them because she's a nurse and they have a one year old of their own. Just because they're parents doesn't mean they know what my baby does and doesn't like or what calms him down.

 

[supertabby]

I wouldn't leave my 3 year old with my husband's coworker that I'd met once and she didn't know at all, let alone a 5 month old. Your husband is being unreasonable not you.

 

[NoodleSnack]

I'm surprised the other woman actually consent to taking a five mo who she's met once overnight.

If your husband can't understand, ask him to read this thread. Most mother would never do it.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I refuse to leave my daughter with people I don't know during the day (one of the reasons why I'm a SAHM), much less overnight! A trusted relative is one thing, but not someone you barely know.

If it's really something important to him, can you try to get to know the couple before February to see if you can get more comfortable with the idea? Maybe suggest you'll try to warm up to the idea, but hold the right to cancel if you're still not comfortable when the event arrives?

 

[MommyJogger]

Actually, now that I've had a few hours to sleep, it occurred to me that the co-worker probably offered without asking his wife and she's shitting herself thinking she might be stuck with two babies on Valentine's day.
And even if she's not and your husband is still stuck on this idea, you might consider calling her and telling her your situation. She's a mom, she'll get it and can help take the option off the table so your husband can't pressure you or lose it again.

 

[LoveCakes]

I'm not sure going behind your hubby's back is the best tactic plus it puts the wife in an uncomfortable position with both her hubby and yours if she looks to be being awkward.

My LO is 4.5 months and I haven't even left her with family overnight so I understand and agree with you.

I think pp suggestion of a night away when your mom is back is good, for you as well.

 

[MommyJogger]

I'm not sure going behind your hubby's back is the best tactic plus it puts the wife in an uncomfortable position with both her hubby and yours if she looks to be being awkward.

My LO is 4.5 months and I haven't even left her with family overnight so I understand and agree with you.

I think pp suggestion of a night away when your mom is back is good, for you as well.

Sorry, I guess that might be an uncomfortable position... I just imagined that no one would even think to fault someone for not wanting to have two babies to take care of at night. Guess I saw her as being in the un-faultable position in the scenario.
Still putting my money on that no one asked her before offering her services.

 

[AP]

No chance!

 

[liz1985]

No I wouldn't even leave my almost 3 year old with people I hardly know. I think he's been the unreasonable one.

 

[Linnypops]

I guess i'm unusual here - but I wouldn't personally have a problem with this, in fact we left DD with friends of DF who i'd never met till that night to go to a concert when she was 3 mo (they have 2 kids of their own and in return we looked after their 2 the following night while they went to a wedding).

I don't think there's any reason to mistrust others, especially if your DH is vouching for them <--- I actually think this is important, certainly it is for us, even if you just acknowledge that his opinion about who's credible around your child is valid, even if you're not personally comfortable with it.

By the same token everyone in a situation like this needs to feel comfortable! Especially so young, if you've no idea how LO will be sleeping at that stage, whether he'll be happy to take food from someone he doesn't know etc etc. I guess i'd frame it in that way - you really can't guess how a baby that age will be at night, sleep's still pretty hit and miss, they start to go through seperation anxiety around then, and you just don't feel comfortable with it....If you don't stay the night will it be so terrible?

 

[LoveCakes]

I'm not sure going behind your hubby's back is the best tactic plus it puts the wife in an uncomfortable position with both her hubby and yours if she looks to be being awkward.

My LO is 4.5 months and I haven't even left her with family overnight so I understand and agree with you.

I think pp suggestion of a night away when your mom is back is good, for you as well.

Sorry, I guess that might be an uncomfortable position... I just imagined that no one would even think to fault someone for not wanting to have two babies to take care of at night. Guess I saw her as being in the un-faultable position in the scenario.
Still putting my money on that no one asked her before offering her services.

I totally agree with it being crazy having your own baby and a strangers. I just meant if she had somehow agreed she would have to go back on what she said. If she didn't know anything about it yet it would be odd to hear from a (relative) stranger.

Maybe she's broody and wanting to test the waters lol

 

[MrsT&Ben]

No way no how would I leave either of my children with someone I didn't know. I couldn't stand the thought of it.

 

[felix555]

There would be no way I'd do this. I wouldn't even leave my 5 month old baby with someone I knew well and trusted at that age, never mind someone I didn't.

You're not being unreasonable.