Am I mad?

Discussion in 'Home & Natural Birthing' started by mechanica, Nov 19, 2011.

  1. mechanica

    mechanica Still in shock!

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    Today I had a scan which FINALLY showed my placenta had moved out of the way for a vaginal delivery and now I'm thinking about the type of birth I want.

    I've spoken at length with consultants both at the midwife led unit (who won't accept me as I am 'high risk' due to multiple pregnancy) and the 'labour ward' who basically want me to have an elective.

    I want a home birth.

    I told them very early on that I wanted a homebirth and they just sort of laughed in my face and said they would never support this. Then I was diagnosed with placenta praevia anyway so it was out of the question. I also had a 3rd degree tear with my first daughter and haemorrhaged (only lost 800ml) all of which they've told me are reasons I need constant monitoring. Now they're citing my long standing mental health problems - I have even been referred to the safeguarding team within the hospital because requesting a homebirth is being seen as putting my babies at risk (and along with my mental health problems they have a case that there may be a 'risk' to the babies, even though there wasn't one before).

    What would you do? I've been told once I am in labour I will be monitored pretty much constantly - they've said I can remain mobile but I'm not convinced I believe them. They said they will allow 30 minutes between twin 1 and twin 2 being delivered before they give me a c section regardless of whether twin 2 is in distress. :nope:

    I'm so unhappy with this. I spent 9 hours labouring in water with my daughter before eventually birthing her in the water. Although I suffered complications (the pph and the tear) I have had NO long term complications. It was a fabulous experience and I want to relive that.

    So wwyd? Honestly, at this point my only option is staying at home and birthing unassisted. I am a single parent and have zero money for an IMW (I did look in to this). I had G&A with my daughter so am unsure if I could cope with nothing at all pain relief wise, as well as the added complication on twin 2 flipping over once twin 1 is out.

    Any words of advice would be appreciated. I feel horribly isolated and have no one to talk to. All my friends think I'm mad for not having an elective. Would you birth twins alone or go into hospital knowing you're 'advised' to have an epidural and HAVE to give birth in theatre on your back. The thought terrifies me.
     
  2. lynnikins

    lynnikins Well-Known Member

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    i would write to the supervisor of MW and put your wishes down on paper to them if you make it clear you would rather stay home than go to hospital and will do what you want anyway they might just come around
     
  3. madasa

    madasa Mum of 2

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    A Doula might be able to help you negotiate with you're care providers and would be more affordable than an IMW. Frankly, as a new Doula I've worked for free, just to gain experience!

    I'm only a very new doula so this might be unusual: I've rung an IMW just for advice with a client before... She said that if the hosp wouldn't/couldn't accommodate the mother's wishes SHE would go in and attend her and then bill the hospital. It might be that there are options out there for you but you need to think outside the box? Are there any other hospitals you could go to?

    Check out AIMS. They are a very good resource for pregnant women! Good luck. And to answer your question, no, you're NOT mad :flower:
     
  4. tripletsOMG

    tripletsOMG Well-Known Member

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    Although I have not had these complications I am way to nervous to do it UC even with 1 baby. How3ver, i am having a homebirth of my twins and hope u can find an imw that will finacially work with u. Some believe in the cause so much the will reduce there fee and stretch out a payment plan. I really hope u can find a safe solution, I definately know how u feel. I would do almost anything to avoid an unnessasy csection. good luck.
     
  5. Sgeethi012

    Sgeethi012 Member

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    Try to keep your mind relax.It's very important.Too many worries can harm yourself and your baby.Everythings gonna be alright.
     

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