Am I making the right choice???

[jaytee146]

FOB has come back and is trying to communicate after months of being gone, he'd make a phone call every now and again, and email me asking for photos of lo. I'd told him after he brought her back with a fever and cut on her hand that he could not take lo with him unless he was willing to show me where he was taking her. My rationale was you know where I and my mother live, please don't take her to anywhere I am not welcome. He would say ok and take her to his home to be with his girlfriend. This made me furious.

Now he's calling saying he'll be leaving for some months and that he wanted to spend time with her, He is now willing to show me where the home is under the condition that I don't come in as he doesn't want to cause any drama with her. Now he is saying that he wants to show me on my lunch break because she'll be gone to work. So I get the understanding from this that he doesn't want her to meet me.. which is what I honestly needed for peace of mind. I get nervous at the thought of my daughter being around another lady, that I haven't met especially with the field of work I do. I see how partners of the bio parent do awful things to the child and I'm afraid of this. I don't plan on going to this home on my lunch break today, and if I'm honest with myself I don't want my daughter going with him at all. I don't trust this guy because he lies all the time.. almost two weeks ago he said he was gonna bring some money over for lo, as he hasn't paid support in a while.. that day has never come. Or he will call me asking specificly what lo needs and makes the decision out of what I tell him, on what's important to buy and what can wait until I get paid to get myself.

I honestly wish he would sign his rights away...

 

[Ceejay123]

.

 

[lovejoy]

I'd be happy with knowing where he live but no going in and meeting the new girlfriend. My ex has a new girlfriend and I don't want to meet her. I have to trust his judgement coz what am I going to do if I don't like her?

It's up to you and your comfort level, you know him and how he acts so it's really up to you.

 

[Dream.dream]

I would make meeting her a condition.

When there is a partner I involved I believe its best for the child for the parents and the partner I sit down and discuss parenting and how. The relationships will work so that there is consistency for the child .

 

[jaytee146]

Since this post, we met in the park Monday and talked while lo played. I was open about ny concerns and suggested since he hasnt.been around in a while maybe he may.want to join us at the park and zoo so they could get use to each other again. He agreed, Wednesday was the turning point. He met me at my mother's home and started telling me about myself,and how i trust everyone but him. I tried to explain my views but like always he never listens. This resulted in me saying lets agree to disagree. We will never come to terms with the past. I told him that there were times our lo walks up to random gentlemen and calls them da da, i explained this is my reasoning for.beieving.shedoesnt know him well. He.got angry. I asked him a few questions to see if he knew the basics about lo. I could not tell me her size in clothing or diapers, he could not tell me if she was on any perscribed medications or. If she had any food allergies. He blamed me saying when he calls i should share those things. I took a deep breath and said would u be willing to admit.to calling her an it. He said yes and turned to her.and said come here it. I said would u.be willing to admit that you didnt or don't want her he said yes. I said ok lets me pay to have the papers drawn up and all u have to do is sign to give your rights away. He said ok. He asked me what did it mean and i told him he would no longer be financially responsible for my child he stood up and came at me... my daughter is standing there.and calls him by his last name. He goes to the car cussing me gets in the car cussing.and hitting it and gets out to reconfront me. My mother comes out.and ask hin to keave abd he starts cussing her and threatened her. Eventually he leaves

 

[Ceejay123]

Wow. Just wow. x

 

[jaytee146]

He started callin me after he left and accused me of starting an argument.on purpose. I stopped answering the phone, the next morning after the incident he called around.his girlfriend and made it seem like he used no fowl language, and made it seem like i am coming on to him sexually. I told him after he tried to rub on.me that if it wasn't about our daughter i would appreciate it if he backed off. Why did he word for word say this in front of her. And hung up in my face, he later messaged i love you and after that message he called wanting.to talk. I'm. Tired of being the adult.
We were suppose to meet up several times this week, the first day he asked me to drive closeto thirty minutes one way so he could visit, after i told him hey remember im driving a loaner he said o and hung ip.. he called the next day askin the same thing ... and he finally said well.call.me.if u take.her somewhere. We were scheduled to meet at the zoo today. He called to see what i fed lo thats the last time i heard from him. I got a payment of fifty dollars after three months. Needless to say im searching for a lawyer to help me draw up an agreement for visitation so if he misses he can't call me talking crap