Am i paranoid?

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by Wriggley, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. Wriggley

    Wriggley Well-Known Member

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    Ok so my son is just coming up to 13 months.

    He still sleeps with his movement mat under the matress and a obsess over the alarm to make sure its on for about 5 mins every night before i go to bed - lots of trips back to his bedroom to 'double,triple check' the alarm is on etc...

    he has a fitted sheet and an airy cover that i tuck right under the matress so it cant go over his face and he has NOTHING else in the cot with him - no toys, no bumper NOTHING!

    i keep seeing things about how its good for them to have stuff in there with them so when they wake up they can play.

    I prefer to go straight and get him when he crys in the morning as it makes me feel uneasy having anything in with him?

    and i being OTT? honestly?
     
  2. HellBunny

    HellBunny Guest

    We are similar really though J does have a couple of small toys in his cot (we do get him when he wakes though no chance of him playing on his own) we still use the movement monitor and will do for some time yet x
     
  3. BabyJayne

    BabyJayne Me, DH, DD & pregnant

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    Only you can decide that hun. But I am guessing you are asking because you think it might be.

    I am presuming he can sit, stand, pull himself up, pull covers over him etc. in which case there is no physical need for him to have the movement mat.

    We've never had one, and Madeline now has bumpers and a few teddies in her cot (and has since she could sit herself up and pull herself up to standing). We hear her having the most amazing conversations with her teddies - before she goes to sleep and in the morning. She loves having them in with her. But it's all down to what you are comfortable with. For me, yes, it is OTT. But if it isn't for you, then that's all that matters.

    It depends if you actually want to be less reliant on things like the movement mat, or if you are happy to keep on as you are. x
     
  4. Wriggley

    Wriggley Well-Known Member

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    yeah my sons motor skills are fine he was walking unaided at 8.5 months (pulling up at 7.5) i wanna keep things like this but my bed routine seems a bit far fetched but i dont really wanna chance anything
     
  5. BabyJayne

    BabyJayne Me, DH, DD & pregnant

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    What don't you want to chance hun? Risk of SIDS is pretty much zero now. The scary thing is there is probably less chance of anything happening right now, than there is when he can get out of bed, run around his room etc etc. What do you do then?

    If you are happy with doing things that way, then keep it like that. It's doing no harm. The only thing that strikes me is that it must be exhausting being so anxious about him all the time that he is in bed. Maybe that's what you need to tackle if you do want to change anything x
     
  6. Blah11

    Blah11 ☼ Mummy to Amelie ☼

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    hes still quite little so no i dont think you're paranoid.
    Amelie had a cot size duvet at 5m, and a pillow at about 2 and shes needed a baby or a teddy in bed since she was about 18m. I stopped putting the monitor on (just a normal BT one) when she turned 2 and she went into a big girl bed at 2 and a half!
     
  7. Wriggley

    Wriggley Well-Known Member

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    its kinda in my head from birth every night just before i go to bed i would have to go in check the little light was on, click volume up full, wires all connected properly and alarm on - had to repeat 3 times and if i did it in wrong order id have to start again. id then walk out the room and back in to check the light - then id get in bed and lay there for 5 mins or so thinking about the alarm and id have to send OH in to check on it. he would get back in bed and id still lay there obsessing over it and convince myself OH might have accidentally turned it off so id get up again to check and then id finally settle down to go to sleep.

    i did this from day one up until he turned 1 and the night of his 1st birthday i didnt feel the need to have to keep checking - i just now do the initial 3x check but it still seems OTT

    past week ive been obsessed with his window and have to be 100% convinced its shut tight so no one can get in :shock:

    Im quite happy with what im doing atm but im concerned that it will get worse then better - i have visions of him still having movement mat when hes like 5!

    ^^ are you sure after reading the above? lol
     
  8. Blah11

    Blah11 ☼ Mummy to Amelie ☼

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    maybe just take the monitor away then? he doesnt need a movement one anymore really.
     
  9. PepsiChic

    PepsiChic mummy of 2 boys!

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    I think as a mother if having the momvement mat, the baby montiro and so forth helps YOU sleep at night feeling a lot more confident about your childs safety then keep it!

    honestly its not doing your LO ANY harm having it there and it makes you feel better then theres nothing wrong with it.


    we still have a baby monitor, we dont use a blanket (im also SIDS wary) and the items in his crib are MINIMAL!

    we have his money blanket square which he holds when he goes to sleep, and 2 soft large building blocks, i say large they are about the size of an adult hand, they are soft so i dont hav to worry about him hurting himself on it. Ive also attached 2 toys to his cribs bars with the links things, one is a little piano rattle and the other is a chime rattle. again both soft and he cant unattach them and hurt himself.

    I dont think im over the top, the risk of sids is largely reduced now at this age...but like i said before if it makes you feel better and helps you sleep at night then just leave it how it is, its not going to bother him if you dont add toys, and he certainly wont know the different if you take the movement mat away.


    edit to add - I have OCD so i cant help you with the rechecking thing....i still check Barrys breathing 3 times a night! i also check his window, and i check the oven is off 6 or 8 times a night, and i'll wake up to check the fridge door is closed and also that the front door is locked. i'll even go throgh a pattern where i'll unlock it, open, it cloe it and relock it just to try and convince myself it is locked...onyl to reapeat this 2 hours later.
     
  10. karlilay

    karlilay Mum of 2 :)

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    I think its completley up to you. Iv never had moniters, movement mats or anything. Zach has a pillow in his cot from about 8 weeks tucked under his sheet and he has toys in there now and hes only 10 months old. I think its important to do what makes you feel at ease.
     
  11. LilDreamy

    LilDreamy Guest

    If it makes you feel secure then keep it. :)

    But on the other hand... gosh... I feel like maybe I'm not being protective enough??

    I have a folded up comforter in Alexa's crib for extra cushion for her to sleep on top off. I was always worried about is she comfortable enough?? Too hot?? Too Cold???
    She even has a very thin pillow she lies her head on at night, and a descent amount of stuffed Animals that are.. her My Pal Violet to play music for her while she goes to sleep, her ABC Giraffe, a small stuffed sheep, and a stuffed baby doll she likes to hug and sleep with at night.

    My house is quite small and her bedroom is right beside me, we sleep with the door open I can sometimes hear her little snores. LOL.

    But I also walk in alot to make sure she isn't over heated or cold. That's the one thing that will drive me nuts. I never know if she's too hot or cold and wish she could let me know. :/

    Just do what makes you comfortable. It isn't hamring anyone... Who knows how many times you may get up through the night because you don't have those items anymore.

    Oh and I was so paranoid about Alexa sleeping by herself, that she slept with me until she turned 8 months! I'm an extremely light sleeper, and would constantly wake in the night ti make sure she was ok and breathing. I was way too scared to let her sleep by herself! When I tried I would walk to her crib every 3-4 minutes. Or lie there and listen to her breathing, and one little off noise would have me rushing to her crib. She woke every hour and a half until she was 6 months and every 3 hours until 10 months... so I was a walking zombie the days she didn't sleep with me.
     
  12. Wriggley

    Wriggley Well-Known Member

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    This sounds exactly like be but because of the mat i dont feel the need to check his breathing at night - i do however constantly check his breathing if hes asleep in his buggy.

    i check our doors are locking but only twice (lock back door then lock front door go back to check back door then recheck front door done)

    and the oven i have to touch all the knobs for the hobs are off and the oven bit too

    Oh and i installed a carbon monoxide detector
     
  13. BethK

    BethK Well-Known Member

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    Maybe try changing a little thing at a time. We still have LO on a sensor mat and will continue to do so until she's in a proper bed, purely because we've done so since she was born and see no need not to.

    However i no longer check on her, she has about 5 muzzy's that she cuddles up with and a couple of teddies.

    Maybe add a toy and see how you go? or add a muslin as they're breatheable anyway and see how you feel?
     
  14. Bexx

    Bexx I'm a mum!

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    I am super paranoid about this sort of thing! :blush:

    Zachary is almost 17 months and we still use an Angelcare. I don't have to check that it's working because the parent unit beeps every few seconds to say it's detecting movement.

    Zachary likes to put things over his head (duvet/pillow), so I worry that he won't be able to breathe sometimes. Sometimes the alarm goes off because he's squished himself up at the end of the cotbed and it can't detect him, I know this is normal but am paranoid that maybe he did stop breathing for 30 seconds or so.

    He has a pillow, duvet and blanket in his cotbed (all organic and breathable materials), plus a large cuddly George Pig.

    I know the risk of SIDS has passed, but there's an equally scary thing called SUDC which is basically the sudden, unexplained death of a child older than one. It's considerably rarer than SIDS, but has no known risk factors and I feel that the Angelcare is the only way I'd immediately know if the worst happened, perhaps giving me vital time to save him.

    I used to worry about him sleeping in the car seat and the pushchair, but he doesn't tend to any more. He's a snorer mind you, so I find that reassuring (unlike when his daddy does it :D)

    I do suffer from general OCD as well and I can totally understand the door-checking thing!
     
  15. Siyren

    Siyren Guest

    lyssa is 2 and she's still on an angelcare monitor- she has a heart condition though which has made me considerably more paranoid x
     
  16. Ang1873

    Ang1873 Mum to amazing wee girl.

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    does it not go off all the time when she rolls about? My LO never stays in the same place in the cot. i'll put her down one way and check on her and she'll be somewhere else!

    I purposely didn't get a movement moniter because i thought i'd become obsessed with it.

    but like the others said - if it keeps you sane then why change? although i think perhaps the fact that you have to check it fully 3 times is maybe soemthing to think about. are you like this with other things (checking doors locked, oven off etc?) or is it just the monitor?

    also - sarah is in a growbag - maybe that would ease your concerns about the blanket going over the head?

    she sleeps with a pillow now and some toys and a bumper.
     
  17. Noirin

    Noirin Well-Known Member

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    i dont have his toys in the cot with him, but they're on his drawer ryt next to his cot so wen he stands up he can reach them and bring them into play, but i do have a bumper and no matter were i put my son to sleep he ends up at the other end face down lol but im not worried too much now hes at the age were if he cant breath he'll panic and either move himself away or cry for me to come do it, but if the precautions u take help u get a good nights sleep i wodnt worry about them x
     
  18. PepsiChic

    PepsiChic mummy of 2 boys!

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    Me too and we dont have anything gas in the house :blush:
     
  19. kellie_w

    kellie_w Mummy to 2 gorgeous boys

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    I only just turned off lukes movement monitor alarm last week, and it was really hard step to take but the amount of false alarms I was getting was making me a wreck. I still have it so a green light flashes everytime he breathes so when I wake in the night I can see this and know he is fine. It's comforting for me to have this still. He has a few toys, his giraffe, Alfie bear, tombliboos and iggle piggle which he plays with every morning. I'm still not ready to move to having a quilt and pillow yet, I'm going to wait until at least
    18 months and keep to sleeping bags for now. You are perfectly normal for how you feel and a brilliant mummy for caring so much x
     
  20. bathbabe

    bathbabe Mum to 3 boys

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    I installed one too but we have gas and an open fire. It went off the other week and scared the shit outta me! Glad i had it, they think it was due to the fire and he amount of time it was going with no fresh air comming into the room x
     

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