Am I ready to move from WTT to TTC?

[pradabooties]

Hi all,
I really need to vent and hopefully someone out there is on a similar page to me that I can chat with...

I'm 23 and have been with my partner for nearly 6 years. We live together in an apartment and are moving into a house in a few months. I'm a college graduate and have recently made the change to working from home (not full time but always between 20-30 hours per week) and my OH works full time; we aren't making huge bucks but we are doing okay - and could be doing much better if we cut back on luxuries!

Anyway, my OH has always wanted kids but I decided we should WTT until we're more financially set up and have traveled more. But honestly...My yearning to be a mother is distracting me from daily life. I'm at the point where I am prepared to either do some traveling midway through my pregnancy and miss out on some things (champagne, seafood etc ) or wait til the bub is old enough to come with us.

On one hand I think it is the right time because I am working from home and can continue doing bits of that during pregnancy and even after baby and I do want 4-5 kids so I feel I shouldn't leave it too much later... on the other hand I feel like my parents would be disappointed and worried that I'll miss out on things or need to delay seeing more of the world.

Any opinions very welcome! Feeling very torn

 

[calliebaby]

If you're set on traveling, i would definitely go before having kids. It's so much more complicated and expensive to travel with kids. Be spontaneous while you can.

 

[pradabooties]

If you're set on traveling, i would definitely go before having kids. It's so much more complicated and expensive to travel with kids. Be spontaneous while you can.

Thanks for your response This is definitely most of the reason why I'm torn because I know you're right. The only thing is that we are doing a little trip next month so that's no worry but the next one which is a big trip we don't have time to undertake until earlyish 2016 - the way I'm feeling right now it feels like torture to delay even starting to try until 2016. But thank you, I definitely agree with where you're coming from! x

 

[Eleanor ace]

I would travel before starting a family, just because it is a different experience doing so when you have children (still enjoyable, but you can be spontaneous and explore a city at night, hop on a train and end up in some random village having drinks at midnight when you have a young child in tow!). Is there any way you could extend your sort trip to make it a little longer, or book another trip, even just a couple of weeks where you can fulfil that desire to explore, before ttc?

 

[xstitcher87]

If your big trip is the one you want to take before TTC, then why not TTC during your trip! That's what hubby and I will probably be doing Also in early 2016

It is so confusing though! I love travelling but the ache for a child is REALLY REALLY hard to ignore. I keep thinking about travelling with them and showing them the world.

I hope you figure it out, and in the meantime

 

[Emmymommy]

Pradabooties I understand your pain! I was in a similar situation to you up until this point. I'm 24, and a year ago I was where you were. Good jobs for both of us, but could use more financial stability and we had travel dreams. I completely understand that the yearning for a baby is so very strong.

For us, we felt that we would regret not seeing a bit more of the world as travelling is the thing we love to do most together. My OH also works in finance, so having more savings was a must for him. Yes, waiting was SO hard, but since I was where you are we were able to go on many little trips and one huge trip we called our "pre baby trip" and I don't regret it at all. I feel our relationship together is even more solid and we are both totally ready for children without regrets or "what ifs".

Since we waited, my OH also received a random and amazing job offer that he was able to take the leap for that is going to help our family in the long term that we wouldn't have felt comfortable with had we been expecting.

We would have loved to be trying during our big trip this past January, but we're waiting for April (almost there!). I also knew I'd be disappointed not being completely carefree on a trip if I was expecting.

I agree with a previous poster to make a plan to try during a really awesome trip as that would be so thrilling and romantic, if it's possible for you!

I think in order to be the best parents you have to be happy people, wholeheartedly ready for those babies. If you think you might wonder about the trips you never took, then I'd say do it now so you can have your baby with confidence it is the right next step in your life.

 

[littlelily]

Agree with the good advice so far. We love traveling together and DH and I are doing a last big trip at Easter but have agreed to ttc while there so it's perfect.

Good luck.