Am I the only one - sorry if TMI

[Jolene]

Was just wondering if I'm the only one that feels this way. With all the months of TTC and miscarriages I find that now when I go to the loo and it's time to wipe (sorry if TMI) my stomach does a full 360 turn because of the fear I have that there might be blood. It doesn't matter what time of the month it is or whether I'm pregnant or not that sickening feeling just wont go away.

Does that sound rediculous?

 

[tinks28]

Its not ridiculous hunni
think we all a little apprehensive .
I know i feel like im constantly checking feel likeim paranoid sometimes lol
xx

 

[debgreasby]

Not at all - i swear our toilet roll usage has doubled lately!

 

[Nosy_Cow]

This doesn't sound ridculous! When I thought I might be pregnant last month (I was 2 days late) I dreaded everytime I went to the toilet just in case my period came. Everytime I'm late recently I seem to sit with my legs tightly crossed as if to stop my period coming and dread wiping time!

 

[Jolene]

Thanks ladies This is really driving me crazy!

Nosy, I'm so sorry about your loss. I read Chloe's Memorial and can not imagine what you went through

 

[lightweight]

Not at all - i swear our toilet roll usage has doubled lately!

I wondered where all my toilet roll had gone....

feel like I spend my life looking at toilet paper - in run up to AF, during pregnancy, during miscarriage.. etc etc!

 

[Rabbittchild]

I don't think your crazy, I got the same fear and sinking feeling when I had spotting before my first AF after my MC - it just made me feel exactly the same, terrified as I did when I began to miscarry.

 

[Vicki_Cream]

I think once you've been through a MC, it's always on your mind. I for one am an obsessive TP & knicker checker!!

 

[WannaB]

Im not specifically checking for blood although I did before the third mc I must admit, now Im just checking for anything! Its like a bad habit now, I just wipe and automatically have a gander!

 

[AngelSerenity]

Not strange at all, I do the same and I'm late so am at the dreaded not wanting to look at the loo roll or my knickers every time I go to the loo! Too scared to test again as I did a test on cd31 and it was negative so I'm just assuming my af is late, now on cd35 (although it hasnt been this late for over a year apart from my last pregnancy!). Feeling very nauseous and boobs sore but I think it's just psychological

 

[Jolene]

I really hope and pray it's not psychological and you get your BFP. This is such torture. I was telling my DH yesterday that BD'ing is supposed to be fun and special between a couple and this is just not pleasant anymore. Once we have this baby (if we ever have this baby) it will be the last one!

 

[AngelSerenity]

I really hope and pray it's not psychological and you get your BFP. This is such torture. I was telling my DH yesterday that BD'ing is supposed to be fun and special between a couple and this is just not pleasant anymore. Once we have this baby (if we ever have this baby) it will be the last one!

My DH has a mental block about being used as a baby machine lol. It's caused us a few problems at those times when we should be BDing. So we have come up with a system whereby if I initiate things he accepts and I make sure I do this throughout my cycle so he doesnt know when that fertile time is and doesnt get that block on! If I don't mention 'but we have to NOW' he's grand...

I also have to hide 'my book' where I chart things etc! Talk about having to be sensitive to a man's needs!!

 

[Jolene]

Oh my word! 2 peas in a pod, your husbands name isn't perhaps Michael is it We had the exact same experience and the same talk. I would get upset because I felt that if he wanted a baby as badly as I did he wouldn't feel this way but I've realised it doesn't work like that for men. We are supposed to be the sensitive ones!

 

[goddess25]

I agree with everyone else i think its somewhat normal.. with each of my pregnancies i find myself just going to the bathroom to wipe to see whats there.

 

[Jolene]

Goddess - Happy Birthday to your little cutie-pie!

 

[AngelSerenity]

I really hope and pray it's not psychological and you get your BFP. This is such torture. I was telling my DH yesterday that BD'ing is supposed to be fun and special between a couple and this is just not pleasant anymore. Once we have this baby (if we ever have this baby) it will be the last one!

Well I think I've had an anovulatory cycle Had slight spotting on CD36 (Tues) and CD37 and a very very light flow (hardly worth mentioning flow lol) for about an hour yesterday. Nothing today yet and my temperatures haven't dipped apart from 0.1oC on CD36 and are back to what they were in luteal phase; high and still in the triphasic level again. Is it possible to have a luteal phase over 20 days? According to FF I had a LH surge and temp drop indicating possible ovulation on CD17 and I only got spotting 20 days later. I thought a luteal phase had a max length of 16 days so see this also as an indicator of an anovualtory cycle?

I'm more disappoined at probably not ovulating than not being pregnant, I've done everything I can to decrease the symptoms of PCOS through diet, exercise, herbal remedies, remaining relaxed etc but I suppose this is a reality check that it really is still such a misunderstood/untreatable condition and not to pin my hopes onto things Really does convince me that my last pregnancy was a fluke as was so close to my Clomid treatment finishing (second cycle after finishing plus natural methods). Oh well...

Sorry girls, just needed to vent, feeling down and confused It's a real shame you can't buy tests to tell if you have ovulated eh? I even feel like asking my GP why they can't continue 21day blood tests for me to tell, like they did when I was on the Clomid.

 

[Jolene]

My gynae was scanning me at one stage to check if I'm ovulating and the condition of the follicles. Surely you can find someone private to do that for you. I would go crazy with all the uncertainty!

Could that bleed not have been implantation?

 

[AngelSerenity]

My gynae was scanning me at one stage to check if I'm ovulating and the condition of the follicles. Surely you can find someone private to do that for you. I would go crazy with all the uncertainty!

Could that bleed not have been implantation?

Couldnt see it being an IB so late in cycle, now have cramps so am expecting some sort of flow soon. Anovulatory bleeds can be very similar to periods so it is extremely difficult to tell if its a period or a 'fake period' iykwim. So I'm just confused now, dont know if this is a late period or a fake one!

Yeah, my gnae did the same for me for around 8 months in a row with testing. I'm waiting on my fertility clinic appointment, hopefully it will come soon and I will ask there. It does seem crazy that 21day tests are not offered for PCOSers trying to conceive, it would certainly keep us sane and tbh help avoid any unnecessary anxiety which could lead to depression - which would ultimately end up costing the NHS more!

There's a private hospital in the city close to me, I might give them a call but will try and find some excuse to go to my GP and ask her first lol if my fertility appointment doesnt come through very soon.