Angry... (rant)

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by superp123, Apr 16, 2009.

  1. superp123

    superp123 Super Auntie to 3 + 1

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    :hissy::hissy::hissy::hissy:
    Found out yesterday that I've mc again, making it 3for3!! I just can't stand it, and to be honest this has become something that I'm not surprised by anymore. Not to say that I don't feel things, because I do... damn it I was invested! I've been pumping myself with hormones that have made me as big as a house... To have a LO to bring home, I'd do it again... but today I'm just a fat a$$ who's having another D&C!!
    I know I'm not the 'judge' but I consider myself a good person but I feel as though I've been persecuted. I just find the whole thing a big F-ing joke! Today I feel like, how many times will I do this to myself? Seriously, how many times can I beat my head against this wall before I finally call it quits???
    And tell me why on earth anyone should have to go through all of this 3x's OR MORE before a doc will look at things thoroughly? Seems to me that there's a lot of needless suffering going on here!! That is definitely not "health care"!! It's "keep 'em coming in care"! I feel like a meal ticket, a number, and a [email protected]#@!!! "Roll 'em in boys, she needs another procedure!" Sorry for the dark sarcasm but just I'm soooooo tired of it all.
    And the icing on the :cake:... it's a beautiful day out there and I cannot even begin to enjoy it!!! The universe is pointing and laughing at me and I don't think it's funny. :bike:
    About the only thing I'm looking forward to is the Vicodin induced comma I'll be enjoying this time tomorrow. *humph*
    Disclaimer: none of this was meant to offend anyone, I'm just MAD!
    P
     
  2. Csunshine013

    Csunshine013 Well-Known Member

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    Hang in there we are all thinking about you!:hugs:
    Don't appologize for being angry, you have every right to feel that way and if you need to talk PM me and we can chat. Hope everything goes well tomorrow.

    I totally understand the coma part, when I went in I told the anes. lady to knock me out.
    :hug:
    Vic
     
  3. Tishimouse

    Tishimouse Fairy Godmother - really!

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    I agree that there is no need to apologize. I've come out in goose-bumps when I saw your post as it was only yesterday I realised you had got your BFP and I was feeling disapointed that I had missed it (haven't been on as much as I used to).

    Now, I just feel awful for you and also a bit frustrated on your behalf. It really does seem so unfair and the luck is so unevenly spread in life sometimes. We can but hope that your luck turns pretty soon to give you a better deal as you honest so deserve it.

    I sincerely hope you feel better soon and wish there was more I could say to help. At least you know you're being thought about and your upset is shared even in a small way.

    :hugs: to you at this sad time.
     
  4. miel

    miel Married to an amazing guy

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    oh no !! how unfair:cry::cry:i am so so sorry...:cry::cry:
    Super123 i don't know what to said :cry:

    love you sweetie :hugs:and thinking of you :hugs:
     
  5. Sandie_Cali

    Sandie_Cali Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: I am so sorry for your loss; but I know where you are coming from, I have now had 4 m/c:cry: Most recent Last week. :cry: I feel angry too some days, but for the most part I am depressed more so....:cry:

    :hug:
     
  6. Tigger Momma

    Tigger Momma Well-Known Member

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    Superb I promise Im not stalking you :blush: Im at work and always on the journals poking around and I saw your post.

    Superb, although I don't understand how it feels to miscarry, I do understand loss. I do understand what its like to feel that the universe isn't fair and to question the powers that be. Ive done it too many times to count. The older you get in life you realize how true it is and was when parents say "life isn't fair" It makes you wanna cry sometime how UNFAIR it can truly be. My heart is with you honestly and I do hope that the doc's figure out what is causing the miscarriages. Just know that you have someone here to listen who isnt oblivious to the process of ttc and all the ladies here who are going through the miscarriages as well.:hug::hug::hug:
     
  7. tansey

    tansey Finally a Mummy!

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    Hun, i am just so sad for you. It is just soooo unfair. You are a deserving person and you deserve a LO of you own! You rant and scream as much as you want!!
    I'm just so sorry that you have to go through this for the 3rd time - once is bad enough! Hope the docs have soem answers for you!
    :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
     
  8. fifi83

    fifi83 Well-Known Member

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    im so sorry :hugs: x
     
  9. bklove

    bklove We got married 4/07

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    I've been there and then some and I have felt the same :hugs: it really does feel ridiculous because its not supposed to be this hard.:grr: but don't give up! I'm still cha cha chugging along and it has gotten easier, but still sucks...I'm hoping eventually though i'll get to the end of this long ass dirt path, lol. :hugs: keep in touch and I hope all goes well with the d&c.
     
  10. Omi

    Omi A Mummy At Last!

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    NOOOOOooooooooooo!! :cry:

    I agree with everyone else and you i guess- this effing stinks and you are the last person who should have to go through this -again! Oh, sweetie, im so upset for you and i totally understand how you feel, no need to apologise..this is how you feel and you are entitled to express it.. DAMN, girl...im so so upset for you!!:hissy:

    You know where i am, we are..whatever you need hun- let us know ok?

    Mahoosive :hug::hugs::hug::hugs::hug:, Omi xxx
     
  11. polo_princess

    polo_princess ♥ Brookes Mummy ♥

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    Oh hun im so sorry to hear this :hugs: :hugs:
     
  12. Chilli

    Chilli Very lucky Mum of 2 girls

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    SuperP, I'm so sorry to hear your news. You have every right to feel angry, I know I would. I completely agree - how much pain do we have to go through before the meds are prepared to help us out a little. I know it costs them money and that's what it boils down to, but if they were spending so much on drunks and stupid things like that there would be more money for those who deserve it!
     
  13. Phexia

    Phexia Sort of ttc nr. 4

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    Oh :( I'm so sorry :hugs: :cry:
     
  14. mrsstreet0417

    mrsstreet0417 Mom to Isabella and Emma

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    So sorry for your loss, I have been there too, and earlier this month actually. Don't give up hope, I know that is hard to think about right now...Sending you lots of :hugs: and hoping you feel better soon...
     
  15. firstimer

    firstimer MC Feb 09

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    Hey just wanted to say how sorry I am and that I hope yesterday went as well as it could. It is terrible that you have to m/c 3x before you get taken seriously but maybe now you will get the care and attention that you deserve :hug: xxx
     
  16. Lazy Leo

    Lazy Leo Well-Known Member

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    :friends: I wish I could come and be with you. My heart just breaks for you and you are so entitled to be angry. I would offer you my upper body to hit if I could! I want to come and hug you and tell it will all be alright but of course I can't. I hope you can get some investigative work done now and maybe see if there is a reason why this happening - the only way this makes any modicum of sense is if there is some kind of reason.

    I said I would be right there beside you every step of the way and I will hun, I will be there through the coming difficult days, weeks and months. But I know I may not be the person you most want to speak to, a constant reminder of what should have been, but I will be in and about and you just say hi when you are ready ok?
     
  17. Widger

    Widger Mummy at last

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    It is a sodding nightmare I know. I've had 3 out of 3 too and still waiting for that 1st baby. I am nervous about trying again and the whole excitement of pregnancy (if it happens again) will never be the same as the 1st. All you do is worry yourself sick about it going wrong again.... if you need to talk I am here. I've just had a 3 month break and I feel better for it emotionally/mentally. TTC at the moment for first time since last mc and hope to god it works out this time. Thinking of you x
     
  18. bklove

    bklove We got married 4/07

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    I'm wondering if we should start a buddy thread for recurrent m/c's so we can support each other and share what we are doing and what not??
     
  19. todteach

    todteach Dreams can come true

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    Sending you a great big :hugs: hun. I'm so sorry that this has happened again. We're all here if you want to scream. xox
     
  20. Omi

    Omi A Mummy At Last!

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    I agree with this one- that would be great!

    Still thinking of you, hun....

    xoxoxoxoxox Omi
     

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