Another MIL Rant!

[starlove123]

I'm a bit gobsmacked and need to share!!

My MIL has been on at me since 8 or 9 weeks about topping LO up with formula milk, adding rice or rusks to milk etc. I thought it was a generation thing & have ignited her advice even though it annoyed it.

It's now emerged from an email she sent me my LO won't sleep through the night because my small breasts supply inadequate quantities of milk!! Apparently she and FIL have been concerned for some time now!

Despite my LO gaining weight, despite the fact she's a very efficient feeder, despite her being very happy 99% of the time ....looks like it's all down to my small boobs!!

I'm so so so insulted! I have a complex as it is about my boobs and I was dissappointed they didn't get massive, but how dare she!!!! I'm proud I've done 14wks BFing and I feel like she's insultedy womanhood and ability to care for my baby. How dare she!!!!

Just had to share ....

 

[starlove123]

(did this through phone hence stupid mistakes! Apologies!)

 

[staceyg]

ignore them you are doing a great job my mil kept moaning that i should give my lo baby rice as she said my milk wasnt enough so i no how annoying it is as long as your lo is happy and gaining weight thats all that matters

 

[Cloberella]

Tell her it's none of her business what you feed your child!

I don't really have much practical advice about what you could tell her, maybe show her your Health visitor book thing (we have a yellow book but I think everywhere else its red?) and point out how well your baby is doing on the centiles?

People like this really get my backs up, I feel lucky my family has been so supportive of me breastfeeding.

Have you spoken to your partner about it? Can he not tell her to back off?

 

[starlove123]

Thanks ladies. It's a continuous bone of contention between us. There's always something that I'm not doing right ...but to blame my boobs??!! I thought that breast size was irrespective of milk output!

I feel a bit humiliated that my boobs have been cause for concern for them. I just feel like a joke "Yes she breast feeds her daughter but she's got no breasts! Can you believe it?". I feel like that line in the Eminem song "How you gonna breastfeed me mom? You aint got no tits!".

I know I'm taking it really personally, I guess it hurts a lot more because perhaps I have wondered the same. Kick me where it hurts though eh?

I can't reply at the moment because I know I'll end up telling her to eff off and mind her own business.

 

[Indy Princess]

Your MIL is a ridiculous woman. I cannot think of a more hurtful thing to say to another woman than 'You aren't equipped/able to care for your child', she is insulting your very womanhood and moreover she is doing it at a time when you (probably) don't have the greatest self-confidence or energy to argue back

What you are doing takes an awful lot of patience, time, commitment and energy and you deserve nothing but praise. When I look back at BF in the early weeks/months I remember how draining it was and in some instances painful it was and how much willpower and drive it took to carry on.

If she (seemingly) believes your breasts are actually bags of milk so smaller breasts don't contain as much milk, then I'd think she isn't very intelligent in the first place and would give her opinions little thought. I'll never understand this fascination that some people have with supplementing or disregarding BF when both Mother and Baby are happy and healthy and even less so when the opinion isn't sought.

You are doing brilliantly, ignore this silly woman and do what's best for you and your child. Well done!

 

[Pink-Mummy]

I'm horrified by this! Who needs enimies with inlaws like these?!
Is your OH bolshy enough to have a STRONG word? if not then you should. Show them some World Health Organisation journals about Bfing and how breast size doesn't make a dot of significance to milk supply and tell MIL to back the hell off! In no way should u feel insulted by their comments, just insulted that they had the bloody cheek to share them. Whether they mean well (and im sure they do) or not, this is waaay over the line. You're doing an AMAZING job. Keep going! If it were me in your shoes I'd ensure one massive blow-out with them telling them exactly how this has made u feel and how its none of their damn business, then i would REFUSE to justify myself any further. Good luck hun. I feel for u. xxx

 

[staceyg]

it is very nasty of your mil to say that why are they looking at the size of your boobs anyway its a bit weird!

 

[starlove123]

Thank you so much! I feel moved to tears by these comments!! xxxx

 

[Lownthwaite]

This is awful!! How stupid and narrow minded is this woman!!?!?!

If she mentions it again I would tell her in no uncertain terms that you are more than equipt to be feeding your baby, how dare they think otherwise and try to knock your confidence and what the hell are they doing looking at the size of your breasts anyway?!?!

Hopefully this would shame them it to leaving you alone.

Ignore them hunny, you know you are doing a great job. Keep at it

 

[x_Nov30_x]

Id be doing my nut in if i had comments like that! My midwife told me small breasted women are best for feeding, she asked why i didnt bf my eldest two and i didnt feel like my boobs were enough as they were tiny (only being 19 and not properly informed) thats the reply i got!
Well done for getting to 14 weeks and tell her to stuff her advice on baby rice you will know when your baby needs it!

 

[summer rain]

yep ladies with smaller boobs can often empty them easier and some smaller boobed women have more glandular tissue/milk ducts than bigger boobed women, ignore your in laws they sound like psychos...

 

[Mrs RC]

Ooh comments like this make me mad!

Just ignore her you're doing a fab job and dont let anyone tell you otherwise!

Xxx

 

[AmethystDream]

Aside from you doing a fantastic job, we all know that boob size has the square root of f-all to do with it. Horrendous woman.

I'd be telling her that it's none of her damn business how you feed your child, that her concerns are completely unwarranted, not to mention unrequested and that it doesn't matter how big or small your breasts are you are infinitely more capable than her of making decisions for your child as a grown woman, it's Mother and the one who is actually lactating.

Anger sharks are swimming... how dare they?!

 

[Surprise]

That's terrible!! I can't believe she and your FIL are discussing your breasts, let alone telling you! And she is just showing her extreme ignorance by thinking that breast size has anything to do with milk supply or production. PULEEZ. I'm sooooo insulting and angry on your behalf. Stupid woman. And your baby is doing perfectly, anyway! What's her problem?

And for what it's worth, smaller breasts don't sag .

 

[gertrude]

agree with the other posters to be honest

1) your baby doesn't need anything other than your milk if they are gaining weight OK
2) breast size has nothing to do with anything under the sun other than what cup size your bra is
3) they're sticking their oar in where it isn't wanted/hasn't been asked for which is just very bad manners

If I was you I would be asking OH to have a conversation with her along the lines of "back off unless we ask you for advice, stop being so personal about someone's body and keep your opinions to yourself in future as the baby is growing nicely". I would also mention that things have changed since her day and whilst you recognise she wants to help, she is doing the absolute opposite.

Rise above it chick The whole thing says way more about her and her neuroticism than it ever does about you

 

[QueSeraSera]

i have a crazy MIL too and so I know exactly what you are going through. its so hard to put up with the unsolicited advice about things. and generationally, raising a baby today is so much different than when we were infants. but that doesnt excuse her at all...where does she get the nerve to say that to you?! and obviously she has no idea what she is talking about...i have rather large breasts and i have low milk supply, so its really got nothing to do with it. ignore her. or, if you cant be satisfied ignoring her, write her back a snarky letter saying you really would appreciate it if she would mind her own business about how and what you feed your child.

 

[hb1]

if this was me i would tell oh i expect a full and genuine apology from mil & fil before they could see me & LO!!

 

[RayOfLight]

I'm off to try research some info for you that you can throw in her face! Stupid cow.

 

[RayOfLight]

https://breastfeeding.about.com/od/breastproblems/f/bigsmall.htm

Send her that!